


A Perfect Day for a Love Declaration

by nikatsu



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, So Nyuh Shi Dae | Girls' Generation
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-04
Updated: 2014-05-04
Packaged: 2018-01-21 21:43:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 52,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1565078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nikatsu/pseuds/nikatsu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They used to have the closest friendship. But when Changmin suddenly leaves without a word and thus breaking Yoona's heart in the process, their relationship crumbles in a toxic heap, tucked away forcefully for four years of silence. A return is inevitable, however, are either of them ready to face what they've tried to leave behind?</p><p>[Created in 2010 and finished in early 2011; posted in LJ and AFF.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. ...where it begins (again)

 

**[PART ONE]**

 

**YOONA - - -**

> _"I’m not that right person. I’m sorry.”_

_This._ This is what I’ve grown accustomed to say whenever a man plucks up the courage to tell me he loved me. Sometimes I even forget the ‘I’m sorry’ part altogether because rarely ever am. They might have fallen in love with me – but I never got past the part where I thought they were interesting at best.                         

Love. I never felt it with any of them. _Not since-_

“Kimchi stew or sushi?”

I blink. Suddenly I’m aware of the man sitting across from me. He laughed as he shook his head, using his index finger to push the tip of my nose closer to my face.

“Yoong-pig, what would you like to eat?”

“Stop calling me that.”

“But you look like a pig! Oink oink,” he said playfully, ruffling my hair. I glared at him but laughed regardless, feeling no anger in his teasing. I was used to him teasing me everywhere anyway, whether it be outside on our little date nights or inside the kitchen during work.

Kim Kibum has been my best friend and work partner for years. After University we started running a catering service in the heart of Seoul and since then business has been going very well. He was somewhat of a mystery the first time I met him; his silence and serious personality gave him that feeling. If it weren’t for that day I was introduced to him, I wouldn’t have known how easygoing he was—and funny.

“Yoona. I know you’re- like – in love with me, but seriously staring at me so openly. It’s kind of embarrassing.”

I rolled my eyes at him. “Dream on, Kim. I was just thinking about how incredibly stupid you look with your … pink floral shirt on.” I pinched his cheek from across the table, making him yelp. “How many times am I going to tell you that Hawaiian shirts do not suit you?!Take that off!”

“First off, I did not pick these out. I am meeting my mother later and she wanted me to wear these so she could see them. Second, I’ll have you know that real men wear pink. And lastly, I should sue you for sexual harassment; asking a guy to remove his shirt in a public place. Im Yoona, have some manners!”

“You are so—annoying.”

“Yeah, but you love me for it.” He replied, grinning and I couldn’t help but return the smile.

“I heard from Sooyoung that you broke up with boy#4. What did this one do wrong?”

I glared at him. “His name is Siwon, okay. And he didn’t do anything wrong. It was me.”

“Right; and I’m a rubber ducky.”

“That is odd to the ears, Kibum.”

“Answer the question.”

I sighed and thought about it for a moment. A friend, Sooyoung, introduced Siwon to me at a party a few months ago. He was a little older than I was, but we got along so well – a date was almost expected. Siwon was a gentleman, attentive, sweet and caring. The ideal guy to introduce to your parents—but something was missing, and I knew what it was.

“I just didn’t like him as much as he liked me.”

That was the truth.

I never felt anything for Siwon remotely close to love to consider him as something more. Sure, I was fond of him and cared about him as a friend, but other than that—I felt nothing.

“You’ve seriously got to start seeing somebody for real soon. I worry about you in that aspect.”

“Ugh, shut up will you? Not everybody can have the perfect relationship with your University sweetheart, like you and Yeonhee.”

Kibum held his hands up in surrender. “Geez, don’t be so prickly.”

“Sorry.” I replied sheepishly, calming down. He patted my arm and gave it a soft squeeze, a sign that said that it was okay.

“Oh by the way, we got another job. This one’s a coming-out party for Miss Kwon Yuri.”

I nodded. Kwon Yuri was the daughter of the founder and CEO of Kwon Enterprises, the leading company for IT in the city. Getting a call from them would mean very well for our business.

Kibum continued, “Apparently she’s just turned twenty and her parents wanted her to come out to the community as eligible for suitors.”

“Isn’t that a little old-fashioned?”

Kibum shrugged. “Yeah, but the Kwon family seems to be a pretty old-fashioned family as well, so what can we do? Anyway, I’ll be meeting her parents and the planner tomorrow to settle the menu so you just have to talk things over with Jaejoong to see if he’ll be free to do the job. They asked specifically for him to cook.”

I nodded. “Alright, I’ll talk to him after this weekend. He’s still visiting his family.” I pursed my lips, letting the cap of my ballpoint pen meet my lips lightly and glanced down at my daily planner. “What else is coming up?”

“Shim Changmin.”

The pen dropped and the oxygen seemed to leave the room. I fought hard to keep my expression in check.

“Are you okay?”

I nod. The air is really thin all of the sudden. “Yeah, what about him?”

_Yes. What about the man who stole my heart, ripped it into pieces and never gave it back._

“Changmin’s back from Japan. He wants to hang out one of these days and I thought I should let you know.”

I breathe. Slowly. “That’s good.”

It comes out force and I pray that Kibum doesn’t notice. Thankfully he doesn’t.

“Really? Then I should tell him the three of us should hang out soon, yeah?”

I force a smile, “Sure.”

 _Sure_.

 

* * *

 

 

**CHANGMIN - - -**

My phone is ringing somewhere. I can hear it, because it’s so loud it woke me from my sleep. I’m too sleepy (lazy) though, to open my eyes and pick it up. I’ll let it go to voicemail, maybe.

The phone beeps and I knew the answering machine has picked it up. Smiling, I bury myself deeper into the bed sheets. Finally. Peace and quiet.

“Shim Changmin, you lazy son of a- Wake up. It’s me, Kibum. I’m calling to tell you that we should hang out sometime next week. Yoona—” My eyes are instantly open at the sound of her name “—said she’ll go as long as it doesn’t go against her schedule and next weekend is best time for all of us. Call me when you get this.”

“ _Yoona_.”Her name sounds so bitter on my mouth. I’ve wondered how she’s been since University— how is she these days?

It’s a surprise to know she agreed to see me (of course, Kibum’ll be there too but still). During University, Kibum, Yoona and I were inseparable. In a sense. Yoona never really opened up to me the way she did to Kibum. There was that one time during the summer before graduation but—

> _“It’ll be worth it when you meet the right person.”_
> 
> _“That right person you’re talking about… that person is not here.”_

 I shook my head and lay back into bed. “Why am I thinking about that now?” I whisper, closing my eyes again. The bed shifts around me and an arm is laid on my chest. I open my eyes and a pretty face came into view. Suddenly, I remember where I am

“Oppa? What are you talking about?” Kwon Yuri said, putting her chin on my chest.

Kwon Yuri. My betrothed. Fiancé. The reason why I’m forced to come back to Seoul. I feel my temper rising at the thought and so when she edged closer to me and my body, I roll my eyes at her and stood up quickly. Pulling on a shirt, I sigh when I feel her coming close.

“Yuri. I told you I don’t let anyone in my bedroom.”

She smiled sheepishly and edged closer. “I know, oppa. But I have a copy of your apartment key and your bedroom door was open so…”

“Alright. That’s enough.” I said, cutting her off. “You have to leave.”

Thankfully, she obeys and slides off the bed. I motion her to the door but she comes up close to me with a kiss. I’m annoyed.

“I said, leave.”

She laughed in response and nodded. “I’m leaving, oppa. I’ll see you soon I hope.”

“Whatever."

She grins regardless of my tone, and gives me another kiss on my cheek.

“Oh by the way, who’s Yoona?”

I close the door without answering her question.


	2. ...where it (almost) felt like how it used to be

**CHANGMIN - - -**

“You’re a jerk, Shim Changmin. A tall _abandoning_ jerk who left for Japan without contacting any of his friends.”

“Are you honestly going to sound like a girl, Kibum? Because you’re beginning to get on my nerves with your tone.” I replied, snark laced in my voice.

Kibum stuck out his tongue at me, and I rolled my eyes at his immature response. He had always done these things back in University to infuriate me, and I had always prayed that he would outgrow them. I guess those prayers haven’t been answered yet because after five years, he was still the same immature creep I shared a dorm with.

But to be honest, the thought that he hadn’t changed since then comforted me a little. Not that I would ever admit to that, but it felt reassuring.

“It’s been awhile, Min. I’m surprised you even remembered me after all these years,” he said, looking at me knowingly and grinning. I managed a half-smile, half-smirk back and shrugged.

“Who could forget someone as gay as you?” I replied, earning a swift punch on my shoulder. I rubbed the sore spot and laughed at him (or at least, I attempted to). “I’m kidding, Kim. I was busy, you know how it is.”

He gave me a look but nodded anyway. He shifted in his seat, pulling out his cellular phone and checked for messages. A smile blew out on his face and I knew at an instant that it was a message from Yeonhee. I clicked my tongue, raising my eyebrow and he looked at me curiously, placing his phone back into his pocket.

“Was that Yeonhee?” I asked. He nodded in reply, almost cheekily. “You’re still together? Really?”

“Yeah, is that so hard to believe? How about you? Any girls I should know about?”

I shrugged. “You should ask my parents about that.”

Kibum sat up straighter, surprised. He peered oddly at me, studying my expression. Then he clapped his hands once and gave a shout that might have meant, “Oh I get it!”

“So they went through with it?”

“Yes.”

“How old is she?”

“Twenty. She still acts likes a kid.”

“That’s because twenty is a child, Shim! You’re robbing a baby its’ youth!”

“As if I’d touch her.”

Kibum thought about that for a second and nodded. “You have a point there.”

“Geez, man, your parents petrify me.”

“They tend to do that.”

He shook his head. “And you’re okay with all of this?” He made gestures with his hands to emphasize a point. I had to bite back a sarcastic remark.

“Of course not.”

“But you won’t go against them.”

He got me there, and I threw him an annoyed look. He shrugged, and then looked at the time on his watch.

“It’s not like Yoona to be late for dinner. Usually, she’d be the first one here if there’s food.”

At the mention of her name, my chest tightened. I threw Kibum’s oblivious figure another filthy look and breathed deeply. _Pull yourself together, Shim. It’s just a name. Her name never bothered you like this before._

I cleared my throat. “How is Yoona, by the way? I always thought that if you and Yeonhee broke up, the two of you would become an item.”

Kibum made a face and shook his head. “That’s scary, Changmin. Yoona’s like a little sister to me. I would never take advantage of her like that.” He shrugged. “Besides, she’s not interested in relationships.”

I raised my eyebrow. “That’s not like her.”

“I know. She was always the girl in love during University. Doe-eyed about romance and Shakespeare.”

“What happened?”

He shook his head. “I don’t know. Nothing happened. After you left and graduation, she’d started to come down to earth and reality. She went out on dates sometimes, but those relationships never lasted long enough for her to introduce them to me or her parents.”

Kibum stared at me. “You were probably the last guy she introduced to them.”

I lowered my gaze and shrugged. “Funny. She introduced you too.”

“As a friend.”

“Me too.”

He scoffed. “Huh. Could’ve fooled me.”

“Yah Kim Kibum, I—”

“I’m sorry I’m so late!”

> _“Excuse me. I’m late for this class and I really don’t want to walk all the way towards the front where my seat is because that would be embarrassing so, uh- can I sit here?”_
> 
> _“Whatever.”_
> 
> _“Yoona.”_
> 
> _“What?”_
> 
> _“My name’s Yoona. ‘_ Whatever, Yoona’. _That way it won’t sound so awkward.”_

 Yoona came in almost tripping, with the same sweet smile on her face when I first met her.  Her smile was the first thing I saw when I looked up from my book that day in class. It was warm and welcoming…

 _Beautiful,_ my brain supplied. I inwardly scowled. Nonsense.

“Sooyoung wasn’t going to let me out of the house until I agreed to go out with that musician she wants to set me up with.”

She bowed a couple of times, apologizing (Kibum was giving her a slightly hard time, teasing her by acting like it was a big deal to be early for a dinner) before stopping to look at me.

By that time, I had already stood up to greet her. “Yoona. It’s nice to see you."

“Long time no see… Changmin-shii.”

 

* * *

 

**YOONA - - -**

He didn’t like it one bit. The way I said his name, so politely. _So formally._ I’ve never spoken to him in that way, not once, not even on the day we met. To be honest, it had felt strange in my mouth- foreign and surreal. I almost hated it myself. But if I had said his name any other way, that would have brought me back—

> _“Changmin.”_
> 
> _“Eh? How about oppa?”_
> 
> _“No.” He sighs. “No shii, no oppa. Just my name. Plain and simple. Okay, Yoona?”_
> 
> _“Okay.” Changmin..._

Dinner was awkward at best. I asked him a few generic questions ( _Where was he staying at?_ His parents. _What was he doing these days?_ He was junior-associate of a law firm in Tokyo.). Thankfully he replied and acted naturally. He even asked me in the same way (he asked if I still lived at the same apartment? And I told him I did and that the roof still leaked) to avoid any odd glances from Kibum.

If Kibum hadn’t been there, I wouldn’t have survived it. I never let my gaze linger long enough towards his direction.

Kibum texted me right after the dinner. Just as I closed my apartment door and released the breath I had been holding in; asking me why I wasn’t energetic today to see our old friend. I replied with a fake excuse of having a fake headache, and tossed myself onto my bed – burying my face under a pillow.

/Try lying better next time. I can tell even through texts. Whatever it is, it’s all in the past right?/ – Kibum

 _All in the past._ It would be easy to say that if my heart wasn’t feeling differently. What was that saying again? _Your first love never dies?_ This was a desperate cliché written all over it. I put my hand on my heart and sighed. Whatever it was that I felt for him was still here- I only learned how to hide it.

/I’m not ready for him to be back./ I reply, typing slowly. His reply came almost instantly.

/No one’s ever ready when it comes to love. Get rest, Yoona./ _–_ Kibum

“I know.” I said under my breath, “no one’s ever ready…”

A framed photograph catches my eye and I reach over for it. The image was from before graduation with Kibum, Yeonhee, Sooyoung and him. Kibum and Yeonhee were holding hands and laughing, smiling and staring more at each other than at the camera. Sooyoung was playing with my hair and laughing, while I did the same with hers. Changmin sat between me and Kibum, that mysterious aura looming over him despite the smile he had on his face. His hand was around my waist (I remember how the touch had made my stomach feel butterflies for the rest of the day) while his other hand was on Kibum’s shoulder.

> _“Why do you pat my head?”_
> 
> _“Because you stop moving when I do. You’re like a child.”_
> 
> _“So that’s your way of saying I’m immature?”_
> 
> _“Among other ways, yes.”_ He grins. _Unevenly._
> 
> _I smile despite myself. “Shut up.”_

 I traced the photograph with my finger and sighed. _It was just a University crush, Yoona. You don’t need this again._

As I set the frame back on the table, the doorbell rang. With a sigh, I pulled myself off the bed and walked briskly towards the door, half expecting it to be Sooyoung (for a late night chat) at the step when I stopped short.

“Changmin… shii?”

Changmin stood outside my door, with his jacket on and was slightly shivering. To say that I was surprised would be an understatement of what I truly felt. “What are you doing here? Come inside, you’re shivering.”

“No, I just…” he stopped himself and cleared his throat, “I never got your number. I figured you must’ve changed yours.”

I shook my head slowly, still confused. “I didn’t change my number.”

He nodded. “I see. Well then goodnight.”

“Wait.” He turned, and I was tongue-tied. What was I supposed to say?

“What is it?”

“I… welcome back.”

Shim Changmin smiled that uneven smile despite his shivering, and pat my head. _Just like he used to._ My chest tightened.

He shook his head at me and shrugged, taking a step forward. With a small wave, he called out:

“Whatever Yoona.”

The tears are warm against my cheeks.


	3. ...where it begins to get complicated

/Yoona./

/Who is this? Oh./

/I was wondering if you still had that book. The one I lent you for our Sociology class and never got back./

/Uh, I have it. Do you need it?/

/Yes. When can I get it from you?/

/Well, it depends on when and where you want to get it. How about we schedule something next week?/

/How about this week? I’ll call you when later./

/Changmin-/

 

* * *

 

**YOONA - - -**

“So only Korean meals throughout the party, Mrs. Kwon? Or would you like to add some other flavors to your palate? I happened to learn a new recipe during my visit to my family in Paris last weekend. It’s very good.”

“Really? What ingredients does it have?”

Kim Jaejoong (the best chef in my business’ itinerary) pulled out his cookbook (the one he carried everywhere on his trips) and started to list down the ingredients to Mrs. Kwon, our new client, the morning of our meeting. Kibum and I met him while searching for a chef to work with us full time and we happened to stumble upon the small restaurant he ran with his parents. It was jampacked and noisy but the smell of the food was intoxicating and delicious. Jaejoong was cooking and serving the food at the same time, and immediately we realized why the place was so busy. He was a shock to the eyes, being so handsome (or rather, pretty), that everyone (every girl except me) was only too busy to order more food and stare at him to eat.

We ordered the day’s special and after eating the meal, we knew that he would be the best man for the job. It was fortunate that he accepted our offer, because then I would never have met one of the most interesting people in the whole of Seoul.

Jaejoong shot me a quick smile as Mrs. Kwon looked very interested in the pictures he had taken of the meal he was suggesting. I smiled back, nodding at his good work and giving him a thumb’s up. I put in some thoughts as well, helping Mrs. Kwon with her decision until finally, she gave us a nod and approving smile.

“I knew it was a good idea to hire your catering services. I am impressed with everything you’ve shown me so far,” she said, pushing her glasses closer to her face, “I’d like everything prepared on Friday before six o’clock.”

“Of course, ma’am. We’ll do our very best.” I replied, noting everything she said into my planner.

“Mother?” A very pretty girl in a blue sundress stood at the entrance of the café.

Mrs. Kwon turned to look at the person who called her, and smiled. “Oh Yuri-ah. You came. Late of course, but at least you’re here.” She turned to me. “Ms. Im, Mr. Kim, this is my daughter, Yuri.”

Mrs. Kwon looked at her watch and motioned her daughter to sit down. “I have to leave now, Ms. Im. If you have any questions, you may direct them to my daughter. It’s her party after all.”

With that she left and the very pretty girl turned to us and smiled. “Hello, I’m Kwon Yuri. It’s nice to meet you.”

Jaejoong stood up to greet her, as I did as well and we bowed together in greeting. She had a kind face, I decided, studying the girl who’d just arrived. At the corner of my eye, I saw Jaejoong’s eyes glaze over.

I rolled my eyes.  _Goodness_ , I though, and swiftly kicked him on the shin.  _You’re married, remember!_  I snapped at him telepathically.

He started at the blow and glared at me.  _Yeah, I know. That hurt!_  His eyes seemed to say and I grinned in return. He was the older brother I wish I had.

“Have you already decided on the dishes?” she asked, taking the seat next to me and her mother. Her eyes scanned the list we had already come up with with interest. Nodding here and there, she looked up after a moment and smiled.

“I like everything on this list. I trust the food will be fantastic on the day of the party?”

Jaejoong nodded. “Of course, I’d expect nothing less if I’m the one in charge.”

“And he is,” I quipped, grinning.

“Then I’m looking forward to it,” she replied, “Please make big portions for my plate, I’m afraid I tend to eat a lot when the food is delicious.”

I laughed at her notion. “I’m the same.” I said, feeling at ease. “Anything that Jaejoong makes is delicious, I tend to eat too much at a time.”

“Well, I am pretty awesome in the kitchen.”

I rolled my eyes at him. “Yeah, only when he’s being modest of course.”

Jaejoong shrugged. “Well, I have to leave as well. If there is anything you’d like me to add on the menu, please let Yoona here know and I’ll do my best to make it happen.”

“I’m sorry about Jaejoong. He’s pretty… confident of himself.” I said, watching his retreating form. Yuri shook her head, still smiling.

“I think the confidence is a little endearing. He’s so pretty too.

I burst out laughing. “Don’t let him hear you say that. He hates that he’s always mistaken as a girl.”

“Well, I’ll try not to tease him when we meet again on Friday then,” she replied.

“Alright then…. do you have anything you’d like to be added on the menu?” I asked, calming down and going back to business. Yuri shrugged.

“Nothing, really. I’m satisfied with the list as it is.”

“Good. Then—”

“Why don’t we hang out for a while?”

I stare at her for a moment. “Eh?”

She shrugged again. “I’ve been in Japan for almost two years now, and I haven’t got many friends here that I like. You seem to be a nice person- I was wondering if you’d like to be friends and hang out a while longer.”

“Oh so you’ve been in Japan?”

She nodded. “Yeah. Supposedly to study the business chapter of my father’s company there.” Yuri gave me a look. “So, would it be okay to get to know each other as friends?”

“But if you’re busy, I understand completely.”

I shook my head. “No, I’m not busy at all. I’m actually going to meet two of my friends for shopping later. I think they’d like you if you come. Would you like to join us?”

Her eyes lit up and she nodded enthusiastically. “I’d love to!”

I grinned. “Then let’s go.”

*** * * * * * ***

“It’s official. You are one of us now!” Sooyoung announced, hugging a surprised Yuri to her happily. Yeonhee laughed, shaking her head at our friend’s antics as she skipped after, swinging her shopping bags playfully.

“You have to excuse Sooyoung, Yuri-shii. She’s a bit—much.” Yeonhee said in a stage-whisper, earning a smack from Sooyoung at the back of her head. Yuri and I laughed as the two decided to chase each other on the street.

“My friends are helpless. I’m sorry about that.” I sat down at a lowly park bench, setting down the bags in my hand beside me and scooted to give Yuri space to sit. She took it and shook her head, watching Sooyoung and Yeonhee pinch each other playfully.

“I don’t know about that, unni. I think they’re pretty cool for friends.”

I cringed. “Please don’t call me, unni. It sounds odd. Yoona is okay.”

She nodded. “How long have you known them?”

“I’ve known Yeonhee since I was in highschool, we were in the same class together. Sooyoung and I had attended the same basketball clinic during University.” I replied, pulling my bags in one hand. “How about you? Where are your friends?”

“Oh well, actually my friends aren’t living in Korea anymore. My unni, Taeyeon, married her boyfriend, Junsu, right after they graduated University and now they’re living in the US. Tiffany and Jessica are interns at a British firm. And Hyoyeon is studying dance at Julliard.”

She sighed. “I’m the only one left here.”

“Because of your parents.”

“Yes, that and… well, yes, just that.”

I nodded, ignoring the part where she trailed off. “It must be hard.”

Yuri shook her head. “It’s not. I actually enjoy learning about my father’s company. But sometimes I just wish I could be a normal twenty-year old.” She looked at me. “How about you? You’re twenty-four now, right? And you have your own business.”

“I run it with my friend, Kim Kibum. Yeonhee’s boyfriend.”

“Oh. How about you? Do you have a boyfriend?”

“She doesn’t want one!” we hear Sooyoung shout from where she and Yeonhee were playing. I threw a paper napkin at her which she dodged.

An image of an uneven smile flashes through my mind’s eye the moment I think about Yuri’s question.  _Damn it._

I shook my head.

“No, I don’t.”

She’s surprised, I could tell by the way her eyes shot up suddenly. I sigh, thinking of a way to explain to her when Yeonhee spoke. She and Sooyoung were only playing a foot away and could hear everything we were talking about.

“Our Yoona has been in love with only one guy for years now. But he broke her heart and now, she doesn’t believe in it anymore.”

“In love?”

Yeonhee nodded.

“Thanks a lot, Yeonhee.” I mutter under my breath and turn to Yuri. “I just don’t have time for it, really. It’s all very complicated.”

Her brow furrowed. “Is it true though? That you still love him?”

I shook my head (forcefully. I almost nodded). “It doesn’t matter now. How about you, Yuri? Boyfriend?”

“I used to…” she trailed off. The light in her eyes grew dim for a moment. Then it came back on again, and she smiled slightly.

“I have a fiancé.”

I raised my eyebrow in surprise. “I thought the whole idea for the party is for you to be presented as eligible to society.”

Yuri shrugged. “It’s only for formalities’ sake. My parents have already arranged a marriage for me.”

“You must hate that.”

She shook her head, a smile on her face. “Actually… I don’t. I really like him. He’s different…”

“Different is always a good thing. What is his name?”

The name that leaves her lips stops Sooyoung and Yeonhee from their playing, and had my heart fall from underneath me.

“Changmin. His name is Shim Changmin.”

 

* * *

 

/Hello?/

/Hello./

/Oh… Changmin./

/The book. How about we meet for it tonight?/

/I’ll give it to Kibum in the morning. You can get it from him by then./

/I thought we were going to meet for it. What’s wrong?/

/Nothing. Listen, I’m swamped right now. I’ll talk to you later./

/Yoona-/


	4. ...where everything begins to fall into place

**CHANGMIN - - -**

“Oppa! You won’t be late for the party later, right?”

I don’t know how Yuri thinks going to my apartment early in the morning will do her any good on getting a nicer response from me, but here she was bouncing (what the hell) around in my kitchen while I prepare my breakfast for the day. I yawn loudly and ignore her, but of course she doesn’t notice.

“Hey, oppa…” she pleads, that sickly sweet tone audible in the way she spoke. I sighed, scratching the back of my head.

“Yes Yuri, I’ll be there. Now, stop talking.” I reply, putting down the food I prepared. She nodded, grinning happily and sat herself down next to me.

“You do realize I’m not nice to you, right?” I asked, not really wanting an answer. “That I don’t see as anything but a little sister?”

Yuri shrugged.

“I know, but that just makes you more interesting.”

She looked at me closely, a smile on her face. “No one ever talks to me like you do. You’re not nice to me, and I find that intriguing.” Yuri explained, “No one is ever rude to ‘Mr. Kwon’s daughter’, you see.”

I turn to look at her curiously. I met Yuri in Japan two years ago while researching for a paper I had to write. I vaguely remember her saying that she was looking for a book to read (though I wasn’t really paying attention and was ignoring her) and she thought mine would be interesting, so she sat down next to me. That day, she kept reading over my shoulder and asking me questions about it until I snapped and told her to be quiet. She smiled at me the way she smiled at me now. Curious,  _intrigued_.

It still pisses me off.

“Why did you agree to this, Yuri? We both know this isn’t what you want.”

Her eyes dim, and her shoulders became stiff. I knew about her past. About the man she let go for her family’s happiness. The sad expression her face was enough for me to know what she was thinking about. And for a moment I felt bad about what I said.

That moment is fleeting of course. Yuri’s eyes became bright again after a second and she pinched my cheek. I scowl at her.

“There is no use looking back into the past, Changmin. My life is for the future.”

She grins at me, inching closer. I know where that was going and I glare at her, standing up at once.

“Your life is for the future, that’s true,” I replied, “but that future shouldn’t include me. I don’t want to be in that future.”

“Then why don’t you break this off then?”

I scowl. “If I could do that, I would have already done it.”

Yuri stepped towards me. “Or are you waiting for something?” She put her hands on my shoulders. Gently she pushed me to face her, and I meet her eyes dead on.

“Someone, perhaps?”

I frowned. The way her hair framed her face at that moment… an image of another person’s face flashed through my mind. I wince inwardly, knowing fully well who that person resembled Yuri at that moment.

_Yoona._

“There is someone, ne?” she said simply. I ignore the smugness in her tone.

She shook her head at me before placing a kiss on my cheek. “You should find her and tell her how you feel before someone else does.”

I glare at her. “I don’t have someone, Yuri. I don’t have anyone to find or tell something to.”

Again she shook her head, and this time kissed me on the lips. There are no feelings that sparked, but I let her kiss me for as long as she needed…

> _“You’ve never kissed anyone?”_
> 
> _“What? I don’t give kisses to just any boy who comes by!”_
> 
> _“Yah, Yoona. You’ve never kissed anyone!”_
> 
> _“Shut up, will you!”_
> 
> _“Maybe I should remedy that?”_
> 
> _“What? Huh—”_
> 
> _. . ._
> 
> _“Let’s get back to class, Yoona.”_

Suddenly, I hate myself.

 

* * *

 

**YOONA - - -**

“I’ll kill you if you ruin this dish!” I hear Jaejoong shout from outside the kitchen. I shake my head, laughing. He was prickly when it came to the perfection of his dishes – a trait I’m happy he has besides being so goofy all the time.

“There he goes again,” Boa, Jaejoong’s wife, said from behind me. They never told me how they got together, but from what I gather from the times I visit them at Jaejoong’s family’s home – they two met in culinary school while fighting over the use of truffles. In the end, Jaejoong’s mother told me, he gave her chocolates with truffles for Valentines’ day and she was shocked because she had some ready to give him as well.

“Oh unni, he’s just being… himself.” I told her, bumping my shoulder to hers in greeting.

Boa laughed and nodded. “That’s true. If he’s not screaming in the kitchen, that wouldn’t be him in there. I guess I should check on him and save those poor assistants he has inside.”

She waved at me before going in, and after a moment the commotion inside the kitchen stopped. I breathed a sigh of relief and went back out to the main reception hall. I saw Kibum standing at the far side of the room, pointing at the arrangement of plates and explaining something to the waiters. I waved at him, and continued to go out onto the lobby.

“Mrs. Kwon, everything is ready,” I said, greeting Mrs. Kwon. She looked up to me and nodded.

“Very well. The guests should be arriving shortly,” she replied smiling, “Thank you again for your service.”

I bow daintily to her. “It’s no problem.”

The guests start to come a few minutes later. Popular businessmen, celebrities and alike came in and the program started without delay. I smiled to myself, watching over the guests happily eating their food. Things were going so smoothly, I was proud of myself and my team.

“It’s quite a big turn-out.” Kibum said, standing next to me. I nodded.

“I heard from Yeonhee that you girls hung out with Yuri the other day. How was it?”

 _Yuri told me she was engaged to someone named, Shim Changmin_ , I said to myself, wincing inwardly at the slight pang in my chest once that thought registered.  _The same Shim Changmin who came by my house unannounced to ask about my phone number and pat me on the head._

_The same one that still has my—_

I cringe.

“It was okay. She’s fun, we became fast friends.” I managed to say. Kibum nodded.

“That’s good. Anything else?”

He’s looking at me curiously now, and I meet his gaze confused. Did Yeonhee tell him something?

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Oh, you know. Something about the fact that you asked me to give Changmin a book he probably doesn’t need anymore yesterday.”

“Well, he said he needed it.”

“Then why didn’t  _you_  give it to him?”

I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. He got me there. Kibum grinned and pulled me closer with his arm around my shoulders.

“Are you ever gonna tell him?”

“About what?”

“That you still love him after all these years?”

> _“I’ll never fall in love.”_
> 
> _“Really? Ever?”_
> 
> _“Love messes you up. It’ll take you up for a few moments and then pull you down. It’s not worth it.”_
> 
> _“It’ll be worth it when you meet the right person.”_
> 
> His  _gaze is cold.  “That right person you’re talking about… that person is_ not  _here.”_

My heart caught in my throat.

“Kibum, I- I do not.”

He looks at me. “You forget who you’re talking to.”

I lowered my eyes and sighed. I loved and hated Kibum for his way of reading and understanding me better than I did myself. The jumbled feelings I had ever since Changmin came back were summarized by Kibum’s words just like that. It was said so simply, I hated it.

I hated it as much as I hated knowing that he was engaged to someone else. Someone who’s already become a friend…

“Don’t say that, Kibum. It’s in the past. There’s no point looking back to it.” I bit my lip. “I hate that—feeling—so please, let’s just drop this, okay? Yuri’s coming out in a while.”

Kibum nodded (thankfully), squeezing my hand reassuringly. And sure enough, the host announced that Yuri was going to come out.

Her gown was stunning; light blue and silky even from my place at the back. The light gave off a glowing aura around her and made her look even more gorgeous. Despite the pain I felt in my heart, I had no ill feelings for her.

I smiled seeing Yuri with a big smile on her own face as she walked arm in arm with her father towards the middle of the dance floor. Her father looked every bit proud of her as they stood gracefully in the center.

“My dear friends and colleagues, I introduce to you my daughter and sole heir, Kwon Yuri,” Mr. Kwon said, his eyes twinkling as Yuri bowed delicately in her dress. He held her hand and continued, “With her on-board in learning the family business, as a father I want her to be stable in life- both financially and emotionally. And so, I introduce my daughter’s future husband…”

I held my breath as the spotlight moved and focused on a tall figure at the back. Kibum started, squinting to look at the figure then at me.

“Yoona–?”

I nodded, braving a smile as he pulled me into a hug.

“Ladies and gentlemen, my future son-in-law—Shim Changmin.”

 

* * *

 

**CHANGMIN - - -**

“Oppa, I have a friend I want you to meet.”

Yuri was tugging on my sleeve, and I rolled my eyes. “Alright, stop that. Where’s that friend of yours?”

“She’s over there.” She waved, grinning from ear to ear, “Yoona!”

The blood drained out of my face, and I held my breath.  _No way. I must be dreaming._

But it was real, so real in fact because Yoona looked up and smiled at Yuri in greeting. Our eyes met briefly and immediately she looked away and slowly started walking towards us.

“Yuri, you look wonderful,” she said, greeting Yuri as if they were old friends.

“You too. Yah, that dress we bought really does look so much better in this lighting,” Yuri replied, pointing at the sleek gray dress Yoona had on. I agreed silently, admiring her figure and then hated myself for thinking it.  _Now is not the time._

“Ah, Yoona. This is the man I was telling you about. Changmin, my fiancé.”

Yoona nodded and looked at me with an unreadable expression on her face. She bowed stiffly and cleared her throat, “Hello.”

“Hello.” I replied, a wave of guilt passing through me.

_Why should I feel guilty?_

“You two talk, okay? I’m going to go get something to drink.” Yuri announced, leaving us before Yoona or I could speak.

I stood consciously, and sighed. I glanced over at her and studied her figure next to me. She had her head turned and was looking far off into the crowd. I bumped my shoulder to hers.

Yoona looked at me expectantly and I opened my mouth. Her eyes dimmed as though she knew what I was going to do.

“You  _don’t_  have to explain,” she said, meeting my gaze and shrugging, “I was surprised when I found out but I’m happy that you finally found someone to settle down with.”

She grinned (but it came out forced, and I wondered why). “You always said you weren’t going to settle with anyone. I was worried for you at that point. Remember what I told you?”

I nodded. “No one should ever die alone.”

I cleared my throat and stood up straighter. “You don’t understand.”

I put my hand on her shoulder, but Yoona edged away. She sighed and looked at me with that unreadable expression once again.

“No, please… don’t let me understand,” she bit her lip, “I don’t need to.”

By this time Yuri had returned with a drink on her hand and was looking at us curiously. “What’s wrong?”

Yoona shook her head and bowed slightly. “Nothing’s wrong, Yuri. But I have to go and check on something. It was nice meeting you, Changmin-shii.”

She turned and I held myself back from following her. Instead, I cleared my throat and breathed deeply, turning towards Yuri. She was watching me with a small smile on her face.

“She  _is_  the Yoona you talk about in your sleep, right?”

My eyes widened. “What?”

She grinned, shaking her head at me. I’m amazed at how calm she was. I half expected her to be jealous and angry, and yet instead… she was smiling. Kwon Yuri was hard to read at this moment.

Yuri pointed to the direction Yoona went to and gave me a small push. I look at her confused.

“Oppa. Follow her.”


	5. ...where hearts may heal or break

/Are you okay, Yoona-shii?/

/Yes, I am, Yuri. And you?/

/You ran out suddenly, I was worried./

/ I just needed to get some air. I’m sorry we didn’t get to talk much after./

/… Yoona, the man you loved- the one we talked about- he is my fiancé, isn’t he?/

_A sigh._

/Yes./

 

* * *

 

**CHANGMIN - - -**

“So…”

“So.”

Sooyoung was staring at me from across the table. The day had clear blue skies, and a reasonable breeze… and she was just sitting there, across from me while I read a book, inside a café for lunch with Kibum and the rest of our group from University.

That was peculiar behavior for Sooyoung – she was never just sitting around.

“So…” she started again, and I felt my temper rising.

“Sooyoung.”

“Sorry. Yuri’s your fiancé huh?”

I looked up from my book in surprise. She shrugged at my reaction, and looked at me for a reply. I sighed loudly in response.

“Yeah, and what of it?”

It was her turn to sigh loudly. “Nothing, she was pretty cool when we hung out with her the other day. I was just wondering… you know.”

I waited for her to continue. She didn’t, she was just smiling cheekily.

“Wondering about what?”

She grinned. “Nothing.”

I shifted nervously in my seat. I don’t know why I was nervous, but knowing Sooyoung and that smile on her face always unsettled me. I cleared my throat. “Where are Yeonhee and- Yoona?”

“Kibum’s gone to pick Yeonhee up after her class at graduate school, and Yoona has a date.”

I cough to hide the choking on my cup of coffee. I frowned. “A date this early in the day? Shouldn’t she be at the office or something?”

She shrugged. “And why not? She’ll be meeting us later tonight so I told her to go and meet with the guy I set her up with now before she could come up of reasons to not meet him ever.”

Sooyoung eyed me suspiciously.

“Why are you so uptight about this, eh? I thought you weren’t the type to care for people falling in love and all that ‘crap’?” she said, making quotation marks with her fingers.

I sneer at her, closing my book and setting it aside. “I don’t care, Sooyoung. I was just asking why she was out this early for a date. A question usually means getting an answer, and that was all it was.”

Sooyoung rolled her eyes at me and leaned closer to the table. She clicked her lips and gave me a dirty look. I held her gaze steadily and waited for her to speak. She obviously had something on her mind, and knowing her – she was going to say it whether or not I wanted to hear it.

“You’re still as deluded as you were in University, Changmin. I can see right through your little tough guy act and quite frankly, I’m getting sick of it. It was cute in University, Shim – but that’s over.  _This_ is the real world now and people still pride honesty.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She shook her head at me. “Yes you do. It’s the reason why Yoona came home hiding her tears last night and why you’re so anxious to see her today.”

I sighed. Of course I knew. I knew the moment I went to her house late that night after we saw each other again. I knew the moment she welcomed me back home.  _(But I could be wrong too.)_

“Nothing happened last night. She found out about my engagement with Yuri, and she told me I didn’t have to explain so I didn’t.”

“You could’ve done something!”

 _Yes, I could have_. Yuri seemed to think so too, but I didn’t follow her advice to follow Yoona after last night.

“You could have talked to her or something.  _Anything_  to make her feel better.” Sooyoung shook her head at me again, clearly frustrated. I was getting annoyed myself, but I was impressed by her fierce loyalty for her friend. Yoona had the same fierceness in her when it came to her friends and the people she loved.

_Loved…_

She continued. “You know what I know, Shim. Don’t pretend like you don’t. It’s only been four years… you should know more than anyone, that something like  _that_ doesn’t go away overnight.”

 _That._ My heart feels heavier suddenly and I can feel my jaw tense up. I put two fingers on my forehead and sighed.

> _“That right person you’re talking about… that person is_ not _here.”_

She really didn’t have to remind me of  _that_  day.

I took another sip from my cup, stilling my thoughts and organizing them. “I didn’t do anything wrong. She and I – she and I don’t have anything together. I don’t have the right to say anything.”

She looked at me, a sad expression (it was fleeting) on her face. “Yoona… she gave you her heart.”

I looked away from her gaze and sighed. My heart felt heavy. “I know.”

“But she’s going to get her heart back, Changmin.”

 I glanced back at her surprised. Her sudden change of tone confused me. Sooyoung gave me a bright smile, her trademark.

“She will,” she said, grinning and making me feel uneasy, “and you’re going to wish you didn’t have to give it back.”

 

* * *

 

/Hey, we missed you today./

/Yeah, I was out with the musician Sooyoung told me to go out with./

/Oh? How was it?/

/He’s nice, we’re going out for dinner tomorrow./

/Yoona, is something going on between you and Changmin?/

/No, why?/

/He seemed edgy earlier, and I only left him with Sooyoung for a few minutes. It seemed like she had said something./

/And what does that have to do with me?/

/Yoona. Do you still…?/

/… I don’t know, Kibum./

 

* * *

 

**YOONA - - -**

Lee Donghae was a pleasant surprise, I concluded, after spending the day with him at an arcade. He was the latest of the list of men Sooyoung seemed to want me to meet and so far, he was the nicest and easiest to talk to.

I laughed easily as he won me a cute little pig-rabbit and felt better.

Yes, this was definitely becoming one of my favorite dates this year.

“You are fast becoming one of my favorite persons this year,” I said at a cotton candy stand, “I haven’t had this much fun in a date in a long time.”

He grinned, handing me my cotton candy and taking a huge chunk of it into his mouth. “Thanks. I’m glad you’re having a good time.”

“I take it you’ve been going out on bad dates this past year?” he asked, giving me a curious look. I shook my head.

“Not bad, just – not as energetic as today.” I replied, “most of them just took me out to dinner  at a fancy restaurant. And I love to eat, but a childish date like this is something I prefer over a stuffy night at a restaurant.”

“Well, I’m glad I thought of a childish date!”

We walked arm in arm, observing the life on the streets that night. There were some people dancing nearby, and I watched them for a moment interested. Donghae looked over to where I was looking and grinned, nudging me.

“Do you want to do dance?”

I shook my head, laughing. “Oh no. I’m embarrassed and I really don’t do that kind of thing.”

He made a face. “What? You don’t dance? I think we should remedy that,” he said and pulled me into the crowd.

I yelped and held on to him as we swayed to the music. I felt my cheeks start to burn when I realized what song it was and I closed my eyes. It brought me back to a time…  _He_  led me quite gently around the floor, his arms around me and saying encouraging things in my ear.

I felt myself relax.

“See, you can dance!”

I drew myself out of my dream and found Donghae’s smiling face looking down at me.

I smile (though the slight disappointment was there in my heart) and playfully swatted him on the arm. “I should be angry at you for forcing me to dance, but I’ll let you off for now. I haven’t slow danced in years.”

Donghae looked at me. “When was the last time?”

 _Four years ago… with Changmin._ “Four years ago. At a ball in University.”

“With a boyfriend?”

 _I wish_ —“No, with a friend.”  _Before he left for Japan._

I glanced at him and he had a curious expression on his face. He cleared his throat. “You really liked this guy, huh? Because in my experience, girls don’t slow dance with people they don’t like.”

My cheeks felt hot. “Perhaps.” I tapped him on the shoulder, grinning. “I’m dancing with you though.”

That infectious grin came back on his face. “Yeah, so you must like me too.” I shrugged, giving him a smile.

He kissed the tip of my nose, surprising me. “I like you too.”

 

* * *

 

/Hey… Yoona./

/Hi, Changmin./

/We should talk./

/… that’s not the best idea./

/It’s not… but we should. How about we meet tonight?/

“Hey, why don’t we go over there?”

“Oh, I always wanted to go there!”

/Yoona?/

/Changmin, I have to go./


	6. ...when your heart decides to fight

 

> _“Happy birthday, Yoona.”_
> 
> A simple silver ring is handed over.
> 
> _“Eh? Changmin, this is….”_
> 
> _“It’s not expensive or anything special, don’t worry. I just thought you’d like it.”_  
>   
>  The smile on her face spoke volumes, and he grinned back (relieved?).
> 
> _“I do._ ”

 

* * *

 

**YOONA - - -**

“I want you to meet him.” I announced, walking into Kibum’s office without knocking, catching him off guard as he sipped his coffee.

His choking on his drink and surprised expression made me laugh as I walked over and sat down comfortably on the chair next to his desk with my hands on top of it. Once his choking subsided, he cleared his throat (the confusion still etched on his face, but I expected it).

“Who, exactly, do you want me to meet?” he asked, adjusting his glasses on his nose. I smiled.

“Donghae. I want you to meet Donghae.” I replied happily. A bit  _too_  happily, I know but I liked Donghae enough to like his company and have him introduced to my best friend. I could tell Kibum didn’t buy into my tone because his eyes narrowed and he clicked his tongue.

A sign that he wasn’t convinced.

“Things are going well with this guy, huh? You’ve never wanted me to meet any of the guys you ‘date’.” Kibum said, making quotation marks with his fingers and giving me a look. I frowned, rolling my eyes.

“Could you please not give me that tone and just meet him? I kind of like this guy.”

He shrugged, turning back to his paperwork. “I’m just saying – you’ve been out with this guy for about what? Two months? I realize that that’s the longest you’ve gone with a guy but, come on… not to sound conceited or anything but you would never introduce me to anyone you just  _kind of_ like.”

“That is being conceited, Kibum.”

“Yeah well, I’m your best friend. You put me in that position, Yoong.”

I sighed. Alright, he had me there. I’ve known him for years, and entrusted my secrets in his care. It would be a lie if I said that his opinion didn’t matter to me, because it did. He was my brother, my family. I looked down at my hands, staring at my fingers. I would never introduce just anybody to him.

“Are you looking for a way out?”

His question surprised me. “What?”

“I won’t think badly of you, you know… if you’re just looking for a way out from your feelings.” He reached over and ruffled my hair, “It’s a dumb assed idea of course, but I won’t think badly.”

I glared at him; running my hand through my hair, fixing it and sighed again. “He makes me laugh and doesn’t push me to think or talk about things I don’t want to think and talk about. He takes me on fun dates and brings me flowers!” I showed him a picture of the bouquet Donghae left at my doorstep that morning. Kibum nodded.

“It’s easy… to like him.”

“He also makes it easy to forget  _him_  too, eh?”

I made a frustrated sound and stood up. I knew perfectly well who Kibum was referring to.

“Why do you have to bring  _him_  into the conversation? I only wanted to tell you that I liked somebody nice and want you to meet him.” I wrung my hands, frustrated, as Kibum looked at me gravely. “It was four years ago, Kibum. I think my… time for Changmin has expired, don’t you?”

Kibum stood up as well, hands on his pockets. He put a comforting hand on my shoulder and sat me down again. I let myself be seated and waited for him to speak. Kibum seemed to be collecting his thoughts.

“Yoona, if I knew you were over Changmin, I would be jumping all over the idea of you finally wanting me to meet a good guy in your life…”

“But?” I supplied for him, my heart sinking at every truth his words carried. Kibum gave me a sad look, and for a moment I hated him for it.

“But you’re not, and you know it yourself. That’s why you’re still wearing that” – he pointed at the chain around my neck, a ring I haven’t worn in four years concealed under my blouse. He pulled it out and I looked away, guiltily.

“I’m sorry for what I’m telling you right now. It’s just that – Changmin’s my friend too. And if he finds out that you want me to meet him…” he shook his head, “he’ll know.”

“He’ll know what? And why would this affect him? He has a fiancé!”

“Yes, he has a fiancé – but you should see through that better than anyone.”

“What do you mean?”

He sighed. “Nothing. Look, I’ll meet that guy, Yoona, because you’re my best friend and basically my little sister and because I am fairly curious.” He smiled.

“Just promise me this – promise me, you’ll look into your heart before anything happens.”

I shook my head. “Funny. There’s nothing much to look at because I don’t have my heart right now.”

Kibum nodded. “That’s what I’m saying.” Kneeling and meeting me in eye level, he pulled me into a hug. I welcomed it, letting the tears (and my pent-up frustration) out silently.

He hugged me tighter.

“You  _have_  to decide whether you’re willing to get it back.”

 

* * *

 

/Oppa! You called!/

/Yeah-/

/To what do I owe this honor? Have you talked to Yoona yet?/

/I didn’t call you for that./

/Well, you really should. There’s no point in being in love with someone and not saying anything. Since I became friends with Sooyoung and Yeonhee, they tell me that she’s been seeing someone. You really should get moving./

/Yuri-shii. Just shut up for a minute./

/… What?/

/I found him./

 

* * *

 

**CHANGMIN - - -**

Standing outside someone’s door is a bad idea but hiding in the shadows was even worse. I pulled my jacket closer to my body, sighing. I can’t help this situation though; it was embarrassing enough to come here after a talk with Yuri. I might as well go through with it.

Yoona wasn’t home yet.

“Are you just going to stand over there?”

I look around me and saw Yeonhee’s head popping out from her window next door. I waved at her, and she waved back, shaking her head at me.

“Well, are you?”

“Yeah.” I reply shortly, looking away. She laughed.

“Whatever you’re going to say to her, be sure to say the right thing. She deserves that.” When I didn’t answer, she laughed again. “You’re even worse than when Kibum confessed to me!”

“Shut up, Lee Yeonhee.” I mutter under my breath but the anxiety in my heart didn’t settle.

 _Was I going to confess to her?_ And if so, what was there to confess – other than the fact that I feel lightheaded when her name is mentioned or that I missed her the whole time I was away? That didn’t mean I had something to confess. It just meant that I…  _cared_.

_Right._

I was pondering this when I heard someone walking towards her door. I waited patiently, sneaking a glance at who it was. It was Yoona, of course –

“Thanks for walking me all the way home, Donghae.” With her date. I looked away, my fists clenching.

The man beside her smiled, holding out her bag in a flourish. “Anytime, Yoona. Goodnight.”

Alright, he looked harmless enough.

_Or not._

He leaned towards her, and I felt my temper rising. I would have shown myself if she hadn’t moved away. I felt relieved somewhat.

“I’m going to introduce to you my best friend, okay?”  _Introducing him to Kibum?_ I swallowed. So it’s come to that.

Donghae (at least now I know his name) nodded, ignoring her uneasiness and pushing it off lightly. He laughed. “Looking forward to it. Goodnight, Yoona.”

She waved at him, and finally with a (chaste?) hug, he left. I let out a breath, looking back at her, asking myself if I should still talk to her. I studied her for a moment, willing for a sign (that is if I believed in those).

Yoona tuck her hair behind her ear before clasping something around her neck. She sighed, and looked down to it – my gaze followed.

My lips are turned into a smile when I realized what it was.  _That was enough._

“Yoona.”

She started. “Who- Changmin?”

I gave her a nod. “Yeah.”

“What- what are you doing here?” She looked confused, and I had the strong urge to pat her head and make her feel better.  _Just like I used to._ I kept myself in check.

“I wanted to see you. You’ve been avoiding me since I came home.”

Yoona smiled slightly, embarrassed and a bit… sad? She breathed deeply, pulling her bag closer to her body as if to protect herself. But from  _what_?

“Caught that, huh? You were always sharp around people’s actions.”

“Yoona...”

She shook her head. “I’m not avoiding you, Changmin. I just – can’t be around you right now.” She laughed softly. “You wouldn’t understand.”

I stepped closer to her. She didn’t move away. “Then explain it to me. You know how I don’t like not knowing.”

“We were close for years. You should know me very well. Don’t act like you didn’t know.”

I sighed.  _Of course._ “I never expected you to. I was horrible back then.”

Yoona laughed. “You still are. Though that never really stopped me from being your friend… and besides, the heart doesn’t choose who it –” she stopped, pacing herself even though I already knew what she meant, “- cares for.”

“I missed you.” I heard myself whisper. Her eyes widened for a moment before they softened into a kind of sadness. I took a (tiny) step closer.

Yoona looked up to me with her sad eyes. I stared right back at her, waiting. The time seemed to pass by as we looked at each other. I felt at ease somehow, staring into her eyes. She always had that affect on me.

“Don’t say things you don’t mean, pabo.” Yoona whispered, smiling slightly. I grinned slightly at the old nickname, brushing her cheek softly with my hand. She closed her eyes…

I don’t know what came over me next. I don’t know how my lips found their way onto hers, kissing her gently while my hands came to rest on her cheek and on the back of her neck. I don’t know why her hands came up to stop me for a moment before they settled softly on my chest and she responded. I don’t know why my heart felt like bursting as I held her, and why I felt defeated (and confused at the disappointment it brought me) when she pulled away with unshed tears in her eyes…  
All I knew was what she meant when she spoke, her voice breaking slightly:

“It’s been four years.”

I looked at her, swallowing. I felt angry (at myself mostly), confused (at her) and betrayed? Yoona shook her head, looking away and turning towards her door. She stopped just before she opened it. Her eyes went back to search mine. I stood there waiting.

“I want my heart back, Changmin.”

I swallowed slowly.  _Sooyoung was right._

“No.” I stared back at her. “You can’t.”

And then I turned and left before she could reply.


	7. ...where you realize what’s true

**CHANGMIN - - -**

“You called me and told me you found him, oppa… is that true?”

It was early in the morning when I met up with Yuri to talk. She was sitting quietly on our table when I arrived and that striked me as odd. Usually when we met publicly like this, she was always surrounded with men (waiters, busboys, even other customers) talking to them. Today though was different.

The look on Yuri’s face was hopeful, sad and a little scared. It surprised me to see her this way. She looked up at me, her eyes searching as she asked again, “Did you really find him?”

I nodded. “Yeah. He was pretty hard to look for but I managed somehow.”

She looked thoughtful for a moment, thinking it over. “So, how has he been?”

“Well, after finishing his residency at the Tokyo Metropolitan Hiroo Hospital, he moved back here to Seoul and started working as a resident for the Seoul National University Hospital. I don’t know anything else since you only asked for his location.”

“I see…”

I studied Yuri for a moment, feeling a wave of – a protective brother feeling come over me. I reached over to give her hand a gentle pat. She looked up and smiled apologetically, still lost in her thoughts.

“Oppa… could you accompany me to go see him? I know I annoy you and that going with me would be a burden, but…” she looked scared, I felt bad. “I just need to see – I need to know something.”

I sighed. “I know I don’t treat you all that well, Yuri. But I meant what I said when I told you I thought of you as a sister,” I nodded, “so yes, I’ll go with you. It won’t be a burden.”

Yuri smiled, this time a little brighter than the last and heaved a relieved sigh. “Thanks, oppa.” She clasped her hands together. “And in return, I’ll help you.”

My brows furrowed. “What?”

“I’ll help you get Yoona back!”

I frowned. “There wasn’t anything between us to begin with, so how could I have her back?”

She shook her head (as if something I said was silly to her). “Oh oppa, you really don’t have to try so hard to hide it. You loved her in your own sick and demented way all these years and never stopped. I’m willing to bet she has too. So let’s just fix it, shall we?”

I rolled my eyes at her annoyed but couldn’t help feeling a bit of hope. I cleared my throat, shifting (nervously – good gosh, I was nervous) in my seat. “Somehow I regret helping you. But I’ll let you do this, Yuri. How do you plan to fix it?”

The way her grin curved around her face had me feel a sliver of regret and anticipation.  _What in the world have I gotten myself into?_

Yuri raised her eyebrow, letting her chin rest on top of her hands. “You’ll see.”

 

* * *

 

/Last night – /

/Don’t. Just – how are you?/

/You’re really not in the right moment to ask me how I am, Changmin. Not after last night./

/Where would you like to start then? Do you want to talk about it?/

/Yes! I mean, no not really… but we should./

/Then which is it?/

/Changmin. Don’t be difficult./

/I don’t want to be, Yoona. I really don’t – not for you./

/I meant what I said…/

/… Do you really? Because I told you I won’t have any of it./

/Why not? I don’t understand./

/Yoona… You’re even slower than I thought./

 

* * *

 

**YOONA - - -**

_Maybe this wasn’t a very good idea_ , I thought when I saw Kibum sitting comfortably inside the café we agreed to meet when I introduced him to Donghae. He was looking at his watch impatiently, and was talking on the phone. The way his brow furrowed and the way he sighed exasperatedly gave me an idea of who he was talking to.

No one else made Kibum frustrated the way Yeonhee and Changmin made him when he didn’t like what they told him. And since Yeonhee told me about her beautiful date with Kibum the night before, it couldn’t possibly be her on his phone.

I sighed, touching my lips carefully. The memories of last night came flooding back in my mind’s eye, and my heart felt light while being squeezed. I don’t know how it led to a kiss but… I touched my lips again.

Unconsciously, I clasped Donghae’s arm closer to me with my other hand and sighed. Donghae looked over at me and raised an eyebrow. He nudged me, pointing at Kibum with his index finger.

“Is that your best friend?”

I snapped out of my reverie and nodded.

“Then we should probably head inside, right? You said you wanted me to meet him.”

I nodded again, feeling guilt at my focusing on an event I shouldn’t even be thinking about now and sighed. I tried to smile (although I’m sure it came out forced.)

“I do want you to meet him. It’s just that – well, maybe I’m nervous…”

“Of what? Are you afraid I’ll embarrass you with my childish antics?” He grinned, making a funny face. I swatted him playfully.

“Kibum is even more childish if he wanted to be.” I replied, looking back at Kibum. He had put his phone back into his pocket now. “I’m more nervous at what he’ll say about me.”

“I’m sure it isn’t all that bad.” Donghae reassured me and I smiled.

He was that happy kind of person. I needed a bit more of that happiness and somehow, I find a little of it with him.  _This is why it’s going to work_ , I reminded myself,  _Donghae will make you laugh and feel better_.  _He won’t make you feel unsure of his feelings for you; you just have to make sure of your feelings to him._

I led him towards the café. Kibum looked up exactly at the moment we entered and waved at us. I waved back as we made our way towards him. He gestured at the lady at the counter and she came over with three coffees.

“You must be Donghae.”

Donghae nodded, shaking Kibum’s hand. “Yeah. And you’re Kibum, right? Yoona’s told me you are her best friend.”

Kibum shrugged. “More like her annoyed brother. I hope she’s not giving you a hard time. She can be a handful sometimes.”

I hit him on the shoulder, mock-glaring. “Gee, thanks a lot Kibum.”

Kibum made a face and Donghae and I laughed. Feeling relaxed and seeing Donghae’s smile, I pushed the thought of last night and Changmin away from my head. This wasn’t the time for that anyway…

“You’re a musician?”

“Yeah, I play at a few local places regularly, it’s a pretty good job.”

“I always wanted to be a musician when I was a kid – but I found out I liked food more than anything.”

They laughed and I felt a little better. Things were going better than I thought.

“So tell me something about Yoona when you two were in University. Something you’ll never forget.” Donghae suggested suddenly. Kibum looked surprised for a moment as I was too. His eyes flicked over to mine, and I tried to read what it was he was thinking.

Hopefully it was good.

“There are a lot of memories. There was one time when Yoona stole the anatomical model for Biology class for a dare and 300 won. Or that time when Yoona set fire to someone’s pants at a campout because she fanned it the wrong way.”

I groaned, laying my head on my arms. “Oh goodness, don’t tell him anything embarrassing!”

Donghae laughed, rubbing my shoulder comfortingly. I looked up at his smiling face. “I don’t care what it is. I just want to hear something special about you. Anything.”

Kibum thought for a moment. He smiled slightly, probably at something he remembered and started.

“There was a moment at our second year. It was the night before her birthday, and a friend of ours wanted to make it special so we kidnapped her one night and took her to star gaze in Incheon.”

I looked at Kibum, wondering why he chose that memory. He glanced at me briefly and continued.

“Don’t ask me why we drove her all the way to Incheon, because it was entirely our friend’s idea,” he laughed, “Anyway, we got there, set up a late night picnic and Yoona was cursing us for kidnapping her and making her miss class. Our friend shut her up but putting a sandwich in her mouth and she just chewed on it with this angry look on her face. It was hilarious.”

“I was kidnapped. Any girl in their right mind would be angry!”

He shook his head at me. “Whatever. When the time came around midnight, we screamed ‘Happy Birthday!’ in her ear and she just stared at us for a whole minute. It turned out she forgot that it was her birthday. I teased her about it before going back to the car to get her gift.”

Kibum looked thoughtful, and I sat there confused. I still don’t understand why this memory was unforgettable – I couldn’t even place when it was.

“When I got back, I saw our friend give her his gift and she saw it – Yoona finally smiled and so did our friend.”

 

> _“Happy birthday, Yoona.”_
> 
> _“Eh? Changmin, this is….”_
> 
> _“It’s not expensive or anything special, don’t worry. I just thought you’d like it.”_

So it was that night?

“This isn’t anything extraordinary but Yoona’s smiles always lights up the room. What’s special about that memory is that friend of ours never just easily smiled.”

_I remember now._

“It made me see how special Yoona was for her to affect someone like that.”

Donghae nodded, putting an arm around me. “That friend… He must have loved you,” he said, teasing me with a light kiss on my nose. I laughed slightly, shaking my head and looked back at Kibum confused.

Kibum looked at me for a moment and it finally hit me. I sat up straighter, surprised – my heart doing flip flops inside my chest.  _He must have loved you…_  He turned back to Donghae and nodded.

“He did.”

Somehow, it was harder to breathe.

 

* * *

 

**CHANGMIN - - -**

“Do you see him yet?”

“No. You know it would be easier if we just went in and asked for him.” I said, rolling my eyes at her. We were sitting patiently inside my car in front of a hospital.

Yuri shook her head, playing with her fingers. “No. No way, oppa. I just want to see him. Not… talk to him. Seeing is enough.”

I sighed. “You asked me to find him for you, and now you just want to see him?  You could have just asked me to find you a picture.”

“You don’t get it, oppa. I lost the right to confront him two years ago.” She looked helpless. “I just want to see how he’s doing. If he’s living well… then I’ll be able to move on.”

I swallowed, nodding slowly. Although I wasn’t the nicest person in the world to her, I knew where she was coming from. From my point of view, Yuri was just scared to meet the person she loved (and possibly still do) years ago. I could somehow relate to that.

That is – if I admitted it.

“There. There he is,” she whispered, pointing. I looked at her finger’s direction and sure enough, a tall man wearing a lab coat came out with a coffee in his hand. He took a sip and reached for his cellphone, making a call just as he did so.

“He looks well.” Yuri said, stating the obvious. I felt the brotherly side of me come again and I rubbed her shoulder comfortingly. She smiled slightly my way and looked back to the man. He smiled this time, talking to someone on the phone.

“And he’s happy…” she added, watching him speak animatedly on the phone. She pointed again. “That’s his wife.”

“What?” I looked up surprised.

Behind the man, a beautiful young woman was walking slowly towards him. She covered the man’s eyes for a moment, and laughed when he said something. They kissed chastely, holding hands and then slowly slipped out of our sight as they started walking.

Yuri laughed, which surprised me, but then there were tears in her eyes.

“Yuri.” I started, and she held a hand up.

“I’m crying because I’m happy to know that he’s happy. That – that Yunho is happy.

She smiled at me, wiping her tears away. Leaning back into my passenger’s seat, she breathed deeply and closed her eyes. I waited.

“I’m happy for him.”

“But you still love him.”

She nodded, eyes still closed. “Always. But Yunho-oppa’s happy with his new life, and I…” she paused, opening her eyes and looking back at where the couple walked off, “I can live that. Now I can move on.”

“Thank you, oppa,” she said. Yuri sat up straighter and checked her appearance with her mirror, then with a bright smile that confused me when she was crying just moments ago, she spoke:

“Now it’s your turn to fix what was broken with Yoona.”


	8. ...where wedding bells (may) begin to ring

**YOONA - - -**

“Yuri’s house is… huge. Wow.” Sooyoung exclaimed, her jaw dropping as we stepped into the Kwon’s home for lunch at Yuri’s request. I giggled at her astonished face and watched as her eyes widened at the sight of Yuri’s family living room. Yeonhee had the same expression her face, but thankfully for her she was slightly better at hiding it.

“Easy, Sooyoung.” I said, patting her on the shoulder and laughing. She made a face and I watched her go around the living room hand in hand with Yeonhee.

Yuri’s home really was very beautiful inside and out. It was lavish but not overly so… and it still had that cozy feeling. My eyes landed on the family portrait above the fireplace and smiled. They were quite a happy family. It was very endearing.

“The last time I was in a huge house was when we surprised Changmin on his 20th birthday.” Yeonhee said, looking interestedly at the paintings adorned all over the walls. My heart did a small backflip and I tried to regain composure.

“Right, his house was pretty large too.”

Sooyoung was busy, fluffing out a cushion and hugging it, smiling widely.

“Yeah, but Changmin’s house was a lot bigger than this one. And a lot colder, remember?” she said, hugging the cushion tightly and laughing. “I was so scared when we met her mother too.”

I smiled unbeknownst to myself. I remembered that day perfectly. Kibum had suggested visiting Changmin at his family home for his birthday and the four of us drove all the way over there with bags filled with cake, chips and soju. When we arrived, we (except Kibum) never expected Changmin’s house to be so… grand. Kibum said we had to hide the things we brought and he expertly (and by expertly, he told us to climb an old ladder he pulled out from somewhere) led us straight to Changmin’s room. I wasn’t very coordinated then and I slipped somewhere… Changmin caught me just in time I fell.

Unfortunately, it was then his mother saw us. After that, we were treated to a (cold) birthday dinner and were delivered home before we could even give our presents.

“We never got to give our presents! I had gotten him really good mitt.” Sooyoung mused, studying the intricate embroidery on the cushion (what was with her and cushions?) she was holding.

“I had made him those butterscotch cookies he liked so much.” Yeonhee echoed, and looked at me waiting to for a reply. I tried to look nonchalant. “Hey, Yoong. What did you bring him?”

I shrugged. “A H.O.T album to tease his inner Pop idol fanboy self and a book by Ha Jin called  _Waiting_. He said he liked books.”

Sooyoung laughed. “Oh my Gosh, I remember that! He liked Kangta, right? Man, what a girl!”

“You liked him too.” I teased, and she stuck her tongue out at me.

“Hey!” Yuri’s voice rang out and a few moments later, we saw her running down an elegant stairwell. She had her hair tied back and was smiling widely. I felt a tinge of jealousy looking at her fresh and beautiful face.

 _It’s no wonder he’d agree to marry her. She’s gorgeous._ I frowned and scolded myself inwardly. No, you have a boyfriend, Yoona. And Changmin doesn’t – shouldn’t – matter anymore.

“Let’s go out in the garden. The lunch is already set.”

“Yey food!” Sooyoung cheered, grabbing Yeonhee’s arm (just as Yuri’s grabbed mine) and we scrambled out into the garden happily.

The lunch was a breathtaking one. Even Sooyoung was taken aback. We settled in our seats and happily started to eat and chat. Yuri told us funny stories from her childhood and we shared ours as well. I had to laugh at myself for being foolish for a moment. Yuri was a good person and a wonderful friend. I could trust her.

“My my. I didn’t know we had visitors!” Mrs. Kwon said, appearing at screen door that led to the garden. We stood up to greet her and Yuri gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“How was your meeting, Mom?” Yuri asked, picking at her chicken and feeding it to her mother (which she took without second thought. Sooyoung and I smiled.)

“Oh I decided to bring it here.” She motioned for someone inside and my insides turned icy in the moment I realized who it was. Sooyoung reached out for my hand and Yeonhee shot me a surprised and worried glance. I held my breath.

“Ladies… Yuri, this is Mrs. Shim – Changmin’s mother and your future mother-in-law. She arrived from Japan earlier today to discuss the wedding plans.”

Yuri stood up and bowed gracefully. Mrs. Shim did the same, and extended her hand to shake hers. Then her eyes were turned on me, and it rose slightly. I stood up to bow as well, but I was so nervous that I think it seemed just a bit shaky.

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Shim… it’s been a while.” I greeted, my eyes cast down afraid.

“It certainly has… Yoona-shii, correct?” I nodded. “You look quite well now than when you were a few years back.”

“She’s very pretty, isn’t she?” Yuri piped in, grinning from ear to ear. I was surprised, and prayed Mrs. Shim wouldn’t take it in the wrong way. “I think she’s beautiful and she’s a really good friend to me too.”

“Yes, she is quite attractive,” Mrs. Shim said, smiling slightly down at Yuri. Her eyes went back on me and I could feel chills run down my spine.

Mrs. Kwon’s hand on my shoulder was warm and comforting, snapping me out of my stupor. She looked at me with a smile on her face. “I’m afraid I have to ask you for another favor, Yoona-shii. Would it be alright?

I nodded, smiling weakly. “Of course, Mrs. Kwon. What’s the occasion?”

She smiled, looking at Yuri and rubbing her daughter’s arm adoringly. “Well, my daughter’s wedding reception of course.”

I stiffened.

“I met with Mrs. Shim today to finalize the arrangements. The food for the reception was the only thing we couldn’t agree on and I suggested having your business run it again. Would that be alright, if it’s such short notice?”

I could tell Sooyoung, Yeonhee and even Yuri’s eyes were on me because they had stopped talking. All of them I could feel were apologetic and sad. I could feel Mrs. Shim’s eyes on me too and I felt my insides grow heavy.

_You’re strong, Yoona. Come on. You can take this._

I cleared my throat and waved it off, smiling brightly for Mrs. Kwon.

“I would be delighted to extend my business’ service.”

Mrs. Shim smiled, looking at me with her sharp eyes. She extended her hand and shook my hand this time. Her hand was surprisingly warm.

“Good. Because the wedding is a month from now.”

And time stopped.

 

* * *

 

**CHANGMIN - - -**

“What do I owe this pleasure, Mother?” I said sarcastically, opening the door in disdain when I realized who it was standing there.

“I believe I didn’t raise you to talk to your elders in that tone, Changmin,” my mother replied, smirking at me as she stepped inside my apartment. I shook my head and walked back to my office. She followed and watched me as I began to read reports from the firm I worked for in Japan.

“The arrangements for your wedding with Yuri are under way.”

I didn’t reply.

“This marriage will mean very well for your father’s business, Changmin. And she’s quite beautiful… Yuri. Charming too. You’ll learn to love her… eventually.”

I made a strangled sound of disgust but she ignored me.

“Im Yoona… the girl you introduced to your father and me at your 20th birthday was there at the Kwon’s home today. She had catering business.”                                                                             

I stiffened, the beating of my heart increasing several beats at a time. I breathed deeply. “Yes, she does. She runs it with Kibum.”

“Wasn’t she your girlfriend?”

I shook my head, looking straight into my mother’s sharp gaze. “No. We were just friends.”

“I see. Nevertheless, she grew up quite nicely.”

I nod curtly, trying to look indifferent. Casual. “I suppose.”

My mother gave me an indescribable look and sighed. I turned back to my work – trying my best to ignore her and keep the thumping of my heart at bay.

“Working hard?” she said, eyeing my desk and the bundle of paper and folders on top of it.

I swirled a pen inside my mouth and nodded, not bothering to look up and answer her.

She moved slowly; first laying her coat on an empty chair before walking very slowly behind my chair, her heels clicking on the floor. She looked at my desk and made a sound. I stopped reading, setting the paper down. With two hands on my desk, I sighed and looked at her expectantly. I knew she knew I was waiting for her to speak but ignored me and continued to study my desk and my office.

“What is it?”

“You also grew up well, Changmin.”

I nodded. “Yes.”

“I did quite a good job, don’t you think?”

Huh. “I suppose.” I said, shaking my head and returning to my work. I heard where this one lead to before.

“You are a very mature, handsome and intelligent capable young man. Working as a junior associate in a top firm in Japan after only two years. You are every bit the perfect son.”

 _But_ – Of course, there is always a  _but_.

“But–” I started to feel angry. There it was. “–You’re not happy.”

There it was  _not_. I looked at her confused and she smiled delicately, moving gracefully behind my chair. She put two hands on my shoulders and gave them a soft squeeze, warmth and comfort relaxing them and reminded me of better days in my childhood. I forgot how warm her hands were.

“You’re not happy, Changmin. And I believe it is my fault.”

I shook my head. “I’m content, Mother. That is enough.”

She squeezed again, almost hugging me.

“No, it is not,” she whispered, letting go of my shoulders and stepping away from my chair and my desk. She took her coat and started to walk out the door. “I am going now to rest. I’ll see you in the morning. We should have breakfast.”

I stood up, feeling angry and attacked. I tried to keep my tone even. “Mother. What is this about?”

Mother turned to me, a small smile on her face. She walked back and peered at my desk again before tapping a small frame I had at the end of it. My gaze followed and was surprised. It was a picture of Yoona and me (and Kibum actually, but he had left before this last shot was taken) from a digital photo stall. The picture had us looking at each other (I was attempting to make a funny face and she was laughing at me) and smiling – our faces I realized looked relaxed and… happy.

I looked back up at my mother, confused. She smiled again, pulling me into a soft hug. I let her, surprised and uneasy.

“Your heart is in the right place, my son. Use it.”

My stomach twisted in knots when her words finally began to make  _perfect_  sense.

_God, even my mother knows._

“Your happiness is important to me, Changmin…” she trailed off, letting me go and turning back to leave. She stopped mid-step from the door and looked back at me one last time.

“The question is…would you be willing to take it?”


	9. ...when your heart desires to speak

/No. Absolutely not./

/Geez, oppa! Come on, it’s just one night!/

/Yuri-shii. I will  _not_ humiliate myself with an idea like this. Much less in front of her. So, no. My answer for the final time is  _no_./

/Suit yourself. I wouldn’t mind getting married to you anyway. I’d get a kick out of teasing you everyday about the ‘one you let slip away’./

/Don’t start./

/Who knows? Maybe when the wedding is over, she’ll actually start thinking seriously about her relationship with Donghae./

/…/

/They make a really cute couple too. I bumped into them the other day, and boy was he hot./

/…/

/I would rather you date unni, of course. But he seems to treat her well and isn’t afraid to show her he loves her so, maybe  this’ll be a win-win situation. Although, obviously not for you–/

/Alright./

/Eh?/

/Alright. I’ll go with your idea./

/Yey!/

 

* * *

 

**YOONA - - -**

_Maybe I should ask Donghae out?_ I frowned, shaking my head at my own thoughts.  _Oh no, that would look too forward and serious. And I’m not quite there yet._

I was lazing around in bed on the afternoon of my day off. I had slept in, did my nails and rearranged the furniture when I realized that I had nothing to do and was lonely. I considered calling Kibum, or Sooyoung out but remembered that they were at work and that Yeonhee would be in school. I thought of Donghae as well, but with the things I found out from Kibum that day I introduced him… well, let’s just say I wouldn’t be entirely focused on him if we went out.

_Maybe… Changmin…_

_No_ , I stopped myself, breathing deeply,  _not Changmin. Definitely not._

 _But…_ I sighed, turning and grabbing a photograph from my desk and studying it, “I miss him”. I traced the outline of Changmin’s face with my finger, feeling a sense of loneliness edge its’ way into my heart.  _I miss talking to him, and laughing. I miss…_

I put my hand on my chest, closing my eyes slowly as the tears started to form. I held them back and put the frame onto its original place.

It was no use anyway. He was getting married in a month – and whatever feelings I had left will account to nothing. Kibum may have (said) hinted that he had loved me too, but he never said it out loud… so what would be the use of (waiting) holding on?

Holding on. I shook my head, laughing at myself solemnly. Kibum was right though. When he said that I had to be willing to get my heart back… I couldn’t be. Changmin – he is the  _one person_  I’ve ever given it too… and I cannot imagine having done it differently now.

I was not willing. Even though I knew better.

I smiled.  _I still love–_

My phone rang, snapping me out of my reverie. I jumped to it, half-expecting Donghae to be on the other end, when a deep voice spoke. My heart started beating faster.

“Yoona… hey.”

“Chang… Changmin,” I smile into the receiver without intending to, “Hello.”

“Are you free today?” His voice was tentative. Almost unsure. I was surprised – Changmin never sounded unsure of himself.

“Why?”

“I wanted to go out with you. Today.” My breath got caught in my throat. “We could go somewhere… maybe visit the places in Seoul we always talked about seeing but never got to because of exams in University? That is – if your boyfriend will allow you.”

I ignored his mentioning Donghae, although I didn’t mean to.

“B-but… aren’t you busy? Yuri mentioned something the other day about you working on something for your firm?” I asked, keeping my voice from sounding squeaky with surprise.

But I  _was_  surprised to hear voice when I answered my phone, but for him to ask me out… in a way that (almost) made me hope that it really could be a date, went beyond my imagination. I tried to pace myself, waiting for his reply.

“I’m all done, Yoona.” His voice was lighter now. I could almost see him shaking his head at me from the other side. “You should know me well enough to know that I would never do another thing without finishing the first thing I started.”

I laughed. He was right. Shim Changmin never left anything for tomorrow.

“And besides… I don’t want to be like this forever. I don’t think I can bear it anymore.”

 _The not talking. The not being able to smile and laugh the way we used to._ That was what he meant, and I knew it well and wanted it just as much as he said.

“Just for one day, Yoona.”

I considered his invitation, taking note of my own frantically beating heart and spoke again:

“Okay.”

“Okay?” His voice held a kind of relief laced into it.

I grinned at his voice, catching myself on the mirror. I almost looked like my old self. Four years ago… I smiled wider.

“Okay.”

 

* * *

 

**CHANGMIN - - -**

“I don’t remember a time when we did this.” Yoona said, picking at her fries as we walked along the park in the middle of a beautiful, sunny day. I looked at her frame and smiled, my heart beating its slow and comforting rhythm that I always (only) felt around her.

Honestly, I was shocked when she agreed to come out with me, but I was relieved when she did say yes… and now, hours later – we were walking together. Talking, laughing and enjoying the day and each other’s company (or rather, I was enjoying hers)… under blue skies and around chirping birds.

“I don’t we ever had time like this.” I replied, still watching her. She tilted her head, nodding. An easy smile slipping into her face.

“You’re right. We were never alone when we went out. We always had someone tagging along.”

“That’s right. Kibum would always tag along. Or Sooyoung. Or both.” I said, “Poor Yeonhee had to follow too if Kibum went out with us because he always dragged her to it.”

“I think she hated me for it?”

Yoona laughed, shaking her head, “She didn’t. It was just hard – because of her program and Kibum’s crazy antics.”

She sighed, putting a fry in her mouth. I smiled, speaking again: “I wonder why we never went out together like this…”

She smacked me slightly on the shoulder. Easily, a little hesitant, maybe. With a serious face, Yoona replied: “You never asked.”

And then she finally looked at me. Once our eyes met, I felt the heat rise onto my face and I saw Yoona blushed slightly – looking away as quickly as possible. My heart continued to beat its soothing drums.

_She’s right. I never asked her. I never had the guts to._

We reached a path where less people were sitting and the silence of our surroundings started to creep comfortably. Yoona didn’t seem to notice this though, and I was (almost) glad.

“Anyway, Yeonhee told me once that being a pre-med student during that time was hard when she was pulled by her boyfriend every time.” Her eyes twinkled as she spoke. “But then she’d add,  _Oh well, he’s the love of my life and wherever he is, I want to be there_.”

Her expression softened. “They really love each other.”

I nodded, feeling nervous all of the sudden. “Did you want me to ask?”

Yoona took a quick glance at me and looked away just as quickly. She shrugged, letting her hair fall in front of her face as she hid away from me. I swallowed, blowing out hair from my mouth and feeling worried.

“Sorry.”

“For what?”

I shrugged. “For not asking.”

She shook her head, her eyes burning into mine – her face almost angry, sad and worried all at once. We walked a few more steps in silence, under singing birds. I opened my mouth to say something at about the same time she did as well.

That is, except, she missed her footing (was that a small puddle?) and fell forwards. I grabbed her—

 

* * *

 

**YOONA - - -**

Changmin grabbed my waist and pulled me towards him just before I fell. His arms wrapping tightly, as my head lay on his chest. His heart was beating so hard, as did mine – and for a moment I wished it was from the closeness of our bodies.

I scolded myself inwardly.  _That was a stupid thought, Yoona_.

“Are you okay?” he breathed, loosening his hold and looking down on me with a relieved expression on his face. He stroked my face, so softly.

I nodded, feeling lightheaded at his touch. Without thinking, I lay my head on his chest again, breathing deeply.

His hold tightened slightly, and he sighed – taking a deep breath himself. “I miss you…”

His voice was so soft I almost didn’t hear it. My heart soared, and I felt a rush of elation and sorrow at the same time.  _He’s getting married in a month_ , I reminded myself and my body felt hollow.

Slowly, I wrapped my arms behind his back, hugging him.

“I miss you too.” I breathed deeply once again, burying my head on his chest. “But things should change. You’re getting married.”

“I know.”

His arms around me wrapped me a little closer. I felt his nose (lips?) on the top of my head.

“You have a gorgeous fiancé–”

“No. She’s not.” He kissed the top of my head, “You are.”

My hands turned into fists at his words ( _How could he say that?_  I cried in my head) and I pushed at him slightly. He made no move to remove me from his embrace. The tears were forming now.

“No, I’m not,” I said, a little angry now. I pushed a little harder, and he let go, only a little, his hands holding my elbows as I crossed my arms across my chest.

“Don’t do this to me, Changmin. You left after you told me that you didn’t want to fall in love. And now, you’re back – engaged – and I don’t know why I’m here…” I trailed off, looking down at my feet. He shifted nervously.

“For once, be honest with me. I think I deserve that.”

He looked at me with the saddest expression I’ve ever seen on his face. I felt worried as his hand went to hold my cheek–

 

* * *

 

**CHANGMIN - - -**

_Ho_ _nest, she says? What should I tell her then?_ I asked myself.  _Should I tell her that I was angry at myself for letting her confess to me before I could be confident enough to tell her? Or that I hated myself for hurting her because I was young and stupid and a coward?_

_Should I tell her that thought of her when I went away? And that I wished she still felt the same way if I return?_

_Should I tell her… that I lo_ – I stopped myself. Steeling myself, I stood up straighter. I am a man. I have my pride. I couldn’t give it up that easily.

Her eyes were waiting for me to speak, and I breathed deeply, pulling my hand up to rest on her face. Her cheek was warm against it.

“Yoona, I… I have my reasons.”

She frowned, shaking her head. I continued, pulling her face towards me. “I’m not the type of person to tell someone what I feel. You know that more than anyone else.”

“I do… but you trust me, don’t you?”

I nodded. Yoona bit her lip. “Then why can’t there be honesty between us?”

I exhaled deeply, gathering my thoughts. Her eyes bore into me and for the first time I acknowledged the feeling that crept into me – the fear.

I exhaled again. “Because…”

_You told me you loved me first._


	10. ...when perhaps it’s finally time–

/How could you go out with Changmin without telling me?!/

/Yeonhee…/

/Honestly, what is this? Never mind. What happened?/

/Nothing happened./

/No, don’t lie to me. Tell me the truth!/

/We walked around. We talked. That was it./

/About what?/

/It’s not important now./

/But he – cares about you!/

/Yeah, a lot of good that’s got me. Listen, I have to go. I want to call Donghae…/

/Yoona… come on, don’t do this./

/Do what? I can’t call my boyfriend now?/

/You can, but not when you’re feeling like this. Not when–/

/…/

/You mean so much to him. I know you know that, so stop trying to think otherwise./

/… Yeonhee…/

/You mean so much to him, Yoona. /

/To who?/

/Pabo. To Changmin./

 

* * *

 

**YOONA - - -**

Donghae asked me to meet after my day at the office. He said that he would bring food and that I should bring a coat or anything warm. I was surprised he called (I simply ignored the confusion his words gave me when he said to bring something warm. What were we to do anyway?), but was glad nonetheless. After what happened with Changmin the day before… I gladly accepted his invitation to meet. I needed the distraction ( _no, that wasn’t the word_ ) -  I needed something else to focus, something to get me back on track.

“Happy 100th day!” Donghae greeted when he saw me come out of the door. Oh my, how could I have forgotten. Thankfully he didn’t notice.

He was just outside the office, wearing that infectious smile of his and offered his hand to me. I took it, pulling my coat closer as we approached a car (“It’s mine. I rarely ever drive but we’ll be needing this for where we’re going,” he said). He opened the door for me, and I obliged.

“Where are we going?” I asked, as we passed by buildings and got on the main road out of Seoul. Curiously, I looked over to see him smiling out of the corner of his mouth – his eyes transfixed in front of him.

“You’ll see,” he said, glancing at me quickly. I decided to leave it at that and looked at what music I could play. There were a bunch of CDs strewn in front of me, and even more when I opened the compartment. Donghae laughed at this, and reached behind him. A moment later, he pulled out his iPod and gave it to me.

“Hit Shuffle on this,” he instructed grinning at me and I grinned back – marveling at how easygoing he was. I did what he said and relaxed onto my seat.

Three songs zipped by and Donghae started to sing along. I smiled to myself, humming next to him. He made things so easy for me to like him. A small frown graced my lips. So how come I can’t seem to like him enough to  _love_  him?

“Oh, this one is good.”

The song I quickly realized was something I knew very well.

 _It always appeared before me_  
Your face, I remember  
My heart that stopped short  
You spitefully took my dysfunctional heart  
And with your bright smile  
That's how you easily opened my heart

My heart beat its comfortable drum as memories flashed in front of me. I didn’t try to stop it… I let it come to me…

> _“Would you sing for the girl you like?”_
> 
> _“I don’t sing. But… maybe. If she asked me.”_
> 
> _“I’d like to meet her if you ever meet a girl who you’ll sing for.”_
> 
> _“…”_
> 
> _“Changmin, sing for me?”_
> 
> _“Sure…”_

“And now like breathing, / if you were to always rest by my side / if you were to always remain this way / nothing better nothing better than you / nothing better nothing better than you…” I opened my eyes to see Donghae singing for me. He smiled at me, taking my hand into his. I (weakly) managed to smile back. I sighed.

“I love that song.”

He nodded. “Me too.”

I looked back out the window, letting my heart’s drums subside. Why I thought of that memory, I didn’t know. But it had to stop… somehow. I wished I knew how I could.

After a comfortable silence, I started to recognize my surroundings. I sat up straighter and looked closely out the window. Incheon…?–

> _“Happy birthday, Yoona.”_
> 
> _“Eh? Changmin, this is….”_
> 
> _“It’s not expensive or anything special, don’t worry. I just thought you’d like it.”_
> 
> *** * ***
> 
> _“That friend… He must have loved you.”_
> 
> _“He did.”_

“Donghae… why are we in Incheon?” I asked, my voice sounded like something was caught in it. I cleared my throat and breathed slowly, looking over to him.

The easy smile was gone from his mouth, and his face looked taut as he concentrated on his driving. We reached our destination a while later – a calm park below shining stars. Donghae stepped out of the car quickly, and I followed suit – grabbing him by the arm.

“Is something wrong?” I said, peering at him. He shook his head, lowering it and sighing deeply. I took that as a sign that something was wrong. I rubbed his arm comfortingly and finally he looked at me. I smiled, poking his nose.

“Whatever it is, you can tell me.”

He nodded. With a soft smile, he took my hands in his, rubbing around them for warmth. His eyes met mine and he spoke:

“I don’t like to lose, Yoona. I know that something – someone – is still occupying a piece of your heart…” I probably looked at him in shock because he laughed and kissed my nose, “See, there it is. I don’t want to lose, Yoona. I like you, no, I love you. I don’t want to lose you. So whatever it is… whoever it is…”

He trailed off, as I lowered my head. My heart had started to pound again, and for the first time I felt relieved to hear someone’s feelings for me – but at the same time, I knew I didn’t want to hear it from anyone but for one person. I closed my eyes, stalling the tears that would have formed if I let them and sighed.

Donghae kissed my temple, cupping my cheeks.

“I’m sorry…” I whispered, catching his eye. He shook his head, smiling slightly at me. He leaned his face forward towards mine.

“I can make you happier.” He kissed me for the first time in 100 days.

And I felt –

A tear rolled down my cheek, as I kissed him back.

I felt  _nothing_.

 

* * *

 

/You’re stupid./

/Yeah./

/Why couldn’t you just tell her?/

/You wouldn’t understand, Kibum. I have responsibilities./

/Screw it! You’ve loved her for as long as I can remember. Now that you’ve got the chance, you should take it! Forget about responsibilities and stop being the perfect son for once, will you?!/

/… I won’t make her happy if I told her. It wouldn’t change the face that fact that I left her with a broken heart./

/Are you saying you’re giving up?/

/What I’m saying is… I’m giving her back what she deserves./

/And what’s that? Another broken heart?/

/No. A chance to be happy – without me. I’m giving whatever I took then, back to her. Sooyoung was right anyway./

/That’s a load of crap. You really do suck at lying./

/…/

/You love her and you’re stupid./

/I do… and I know./

 

* * *

 

**YOONA - - -**

Donghae drove me home, subtlety hinting an offer I was almost tempted to take. It wouldn’t be fair, but – he loved me…

 _Is that enough?_ My heart argued.  _Plenty of men had told you they loved you and you turned away from them because you never felt the same way. You don’t feel anything even now. So how is this any different?_

I didn’t answer. My heart answered for me.  _Because Changmin’s back…  he’s engaged and… and you_ want _a way out._

“Donghae is not a way out.” I spoke out loud, missing the keyhole entirely as my hands shook. I stilled myself, resting my head on the frame of the door as I tried to catch my breath. I exhaled. “Donghae is  _not_  a way out.” I repeated more forcefully.

“No, he’s not.”

I turned around quickly, shocked at the sound of a voice, only to find Changmin standing behind me. He smiled slightly, stepping closer and taking my keys from my shaking hands. I gaped at him as he opened the door and led me inside. He took my coat off of me and at the same time set my bag on the table.

I shivered, feeling cold and he turned back to rub his hands along my arms. I shivered again, this time from his touch.

Our eyes met.

“What are you doing here?”


	11. ...when He says “i love you”

**1:30pm** , MAY 30th.  **YOONA**.

“Hey. I got your call… what’s up?”

Donghae looked so nervous in front of me. I wasn’t surprised; I would be too if I had confessed to the person I loved like he did to me before. The corners of mouth went up slightly, and I took his hands into mine.

_“It won’t matter in the morning…”_

“You make me happy, Donghae.” I whispered, leaning close to him. He smiled, cupping my cheek. His hand was warm… I gave him a soft peck on the cheek.

“I’ll do my best, okay?”  _I’ll fall in love with you._

He nodded.

“Okay. Happy birthday.”

 

* * *

 

 **11:30pm** , MAY 29  th .  **YOONA**.

“What are you doing here?”

His hands continued to warm me as I shivered. The air was cold inside the room, but the space between us didn’t cause the shivers I felt. Changmin’s eyes were calm, like it always is. And suddenly, I resented that trait of his -  I felt a burst of anger rush through me, and pulled away from him.

“What are  _you_  doing  _here_?” I said, emphasizing every word with a steely breath. I didn’t look at him, I couldn’t bear to.

“That guy, Donghae,” he started coolly, making me look at him in surprise. “He’s not a way out.”

I scoffed. “Yes, I already knew that.”

“Of course,” he replied, those calm eyes looking into mine once again. “And he’ll make you happy.” He said this with a smile on his face that burned my insides. At that moment, I hated him.

“Don’t toy with me, Shim Changmin.” I shouted, no longer holding myself back. I raked my hand through my hair, frustrated and hurt, and wanting to hurt him back. My hand rested on the chain around my neck, and I felt the familiar coolness of the ring the chain kept. I looked down to it, and tore it off, throwing it at him.

The anger was too much.

“I’ve had enough.” My voice held the tears I refused to shed.  _I won’t shed tears for you anymore._

“I have someone who loves me, Changmin.” He nodded, picking up the ring I threw and looking at it. For a moment I saw something change in his expression – but it quickly disappeared. I continued:

“He is someone who doesn’t hurt me intentionally. He doesn’t frustrate me, or make me wait for him. He doesn’t lie or hide away from me. He makes me feel so much better with myself. He’s everything  _you’re_ not.”

Changmin seemed unfazed with what I was saying. That only fueled my anger even more. I laughed bitterly. “You’re an ass, you know that? Even when we were in University, you were also such a jerk. I can’t believe I wasted my time on you.”

He smirked. God, I hate him. “They why did you?” he asked, his eyes piercing through mine. I knew he was keeping his temper in check and to see him in that way made me want to destroy his cool demeanor.

“Because I was a stupid little girl, waiting for her prince.” I laughed again, moving away from him. “Or maybe it’s because I read too many romantic novels as a child, who knows? You’re the person I want my heart stay away from–”

“That’s good. You should give it to someone else. That guy you’re seeing right now, the one that can make you happy… he is a good pick.”

“Don’t patronize me.”

He shook his head. “I’m not.”

The expression on his face softened, and he looked defeated. A familiar throb rose to my heart when I realized that he was sad.  _Why would he be?_  I wondered, taking a step closer to him.  _Why–_

“You already have your heart back, Yoona – you had it when you decided that Donghae is not a way out.” Changmin said, looking at me with another one of those sad smiles. “You made that decision, and that’s enough for me.”

“What is enough?” I asked, “What are you talking about? Why can’t you just tell me straight?”

He shook his head and turned to leave. “Good bye.”

“I hate you.” I cried, the words tasting like copper in my mouth. But it made him stop in his place and I rallied up to him. He turned back to me and nodded.

“That’s for the best.” His voice was so calm. My hands balled into fists.

The next step closer I took made him breathe me in and he sighed. I looked up at him and him down at me. Time stopped. I still felt anger but it’s dissipated just a bit as our eyes stayed on each other.

I lifted my chin…

The space between us vanished. The coldness of the air and the hum of the heater disappearing as our bodies moved closer to one another and as our hands tugged and pulled. I gasped for air while grasping his shirt upwards and his hands ran along my waist. He looked at me only once as he (or maybe it was me) led us to my room. There was sadness in his eyes… and something else. I couldn’t name it but it was there as he pulled me closer and I plunged myself into oblivion.

“Yoona…”

Our breaths came in short huffs. His arms were around my waist, hugging me to him as I pulled mine around his neck. He said my name slowly on my neck, as if memorizing it.  _Like a mantra._  I bit my lip, relishing in the sensations and hating myself for it.

_I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I should hate you–_

I love you.

“Changmin...”

 

* * *

 

 **4:30pm** , MAY 30  th .  **CHANGMIN**.

“Oppa, you look horrible!”

I grimaced as Yuri quickly ran to my kitchen to fetch a hand towel and a bowl of ice and water. She pressed the cold compress onto my face. I groaned and pulled away slightly. She pressed harder just as Kibum entered the room.  Yeonhee followed suit, looking scared and rubbing her boyfriend’s arm.

“He deserves it.” Kibum said, rubbing his fist. Yuri saw this and her eyes widened.

“Kibum-oppa? What–?” she started, looking at Yeonhee for help. She could only shake her head. “You told her, didn’t you?”

I nodded. The pain on my cheek and chin had begun easing into a soft throb.

“But why would you deserve a beating?”

Kibum bit back an angry laugh. “Because he’s stupid.”

I glared at him and leaned back on my chair, breathing slowly. Yuri was waiting for my answer. I turned to her, feeling apologetic and sighed.

“Changmin? What did you do?”

I shrugged. “It doesn’t matter now.”

 

* * *

 

 **2:30am** , MAY 30  th .  **CHANGMIN**.

She lay next to me, breathing in small and even breaths as she slept soundly. I swallowed, turning my head to look at her sleeping face. She was beautiful like this – but then again, when was she not? I smiled at that thought and put my forehead on hers, closing my eyes.

 _You have to let her go._ My conscience reminded me,  _you have a duty to your family… and you cannot make her happy._ This was true.

I sighed softly. With a heavy heart, I shook her lightly, stirring her from her sleep. She blinked once, twice before focusing her eyes on me and blushed. I smiled down at her, kissing her lips. She pulled away a moment later, her eyes alert and quickly covered herself from me.

Just as I expected her to.

I sat up, grabbing my pants off the floor and pulled it on quickly. I breathed deeply, and then looked back at her.

“I came here to tell you something.” I said, meeting her eyes with mine. “I came here to tell you that I can’t make you happy, even if I wanted to.”

“I see…”

“Donghae will. You said so yourself – he loves you.” I grinned, trying to make this easier for her ( _never mind for me_ ).“Plus I’ve heard from Kibum that’s he’s a good guy. And Kibum’s always been a good judge of character; I trust him. He’ll make you happy.”

Yoona nodded, confusion etched on her features. She sat up with her covers all around her.

“What about… this…?” she asked. Her eyes strayed from her hands on her lap to my chest then back to her hands again.

“You’ll fall in love with him too.” I said, ignoring her question.

But Yoona wasn’t going to have any of it. Her tone was even, strong… afraid. “Changmin.”

I swallowed and leaned into her, kissing her again softly.  _One last time._

“You can forget about it if you want.”

“Will you?”

I shook my head. “No. I won’t.”

“Why?” Yoona put her hand on mine softly. I looked at them, feeling hopeful and pained at the same time. I swallowed, slipping my hand from hers and stood up. She repeated herself:

“Why?”

I looked at her, and smiled.

“Because I love you…” I said. She looked shocked. Yoona opened her mouth to say something but I stopped her.

“But it won’t matter in the morning.”

 

* * *

 

 **5:00pm** , MAY 30th.  **CHANGMIN**.

“Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, happy birthday…” The man sang, making Yoona smile at his face and lean into him. Her neck was bare of the chain that was usually around it. I clasped around my neck and a chain slipped around fingers.

The ring was mine now.

Yuri squeezed my shoulder comfortingly, her eyes apologetic and sad. I mock glared at her and she smiled weakly.

“You should go in.” Sooyoung’s voice rang, surprising Yuri and making her step away from me. I saw Sooyoung walk out of the café door they were in and I shook my head to her.

“Changmin, you should go in.” she said again, punching me lightly on the shoulder, “you too Yuri.”

Yuri looked up at me hopefully. I nodded to her. “You go, I’m going to stay out here a bit longer.”

She nodded and quickly stepped inside, causing the group I was watching greet her enthusiastically. Yoona’s smile was so happy.

“I expected you to fight for her.”

I cracked a smile. “I know.”

“But you think she deserves better.” Sooyoung’s tone was softer now.

“He’ll make her happy.”

Sooyoung shook her head and gave me a quick hug. “If I had known you loved her this much, I wouldn’t have said so many harsh things to you.”

I laughed. “Your heart was in the right place. And I’m getting married.”

“You love her though.”

I nodded, looking back at the joyful scene in front of me. A sharp pain struck my heart and I breathed deeply. “Tell Yoona that I hope she has a happy birthday, will you Sooyoung?”

She nodded. And I turned to leave.

“Changmin?”

I stopped.

“You’re a lousy liar.”

I looked back at her, smiling (or tried my best to anyway). “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

 

**[END OF PART ONE]**


	12. [Sooyoung]

My friends are adorable. Seriously, they are. They go on with their lives like nothing’s wrong; pretending that everything has been set right just because they avoided it. She laughs and jokes with the rest of us as if nothing was wrong; while he continues to play the part of the perfect son to the hilt. They think I don’t notice – or that I don’t care about those kinds of things as much – but I do, despite my jokes and endless teasing. They think they can hide, but they can’t. Not from me anyway.

That’s why I can see through them so well.

Take Yoona for example. Sure, she’s laughing more, smiling wider - and there’s no doubt she’s begun to care for Donghae deeply and sincerely. But… that isn’t enough. She doesn’t get excited when she goes out. She doesn’t gush or tell me about her plans. She doesn’t do anything. She lets it be. Her smiles never reach her eyes, and even though she seems happy – I know very well that a part of her is not.

I asked her once, if she loved Donghae. She looked at me plainly, and nodded (a little hesitantly, I think. But maybe it was just me?) Then I asked her suddenly if she was over what had happened and Changmin. It was out of nowhere, and I admit I almost attacked her with my question… but it was quite an easy question to answer, right? It was either you did, or you didn’t.

She was shocked at first. Her eyes widening slightly and she  _paused_.

Now, a pause can mean absolutely nothing. But that  _definitely_  did. I grinned and told her it was okay. She asked me about it but I didn’t tell her anything. She should find out for herself… that love and affection were two very different things. Yoona resents me for my teasing her, but what else could I do?

Changmin’s not much better off either.

Since meeting Yuri, I’ve started hanging out with her more because she was fun and genuinely nice. But another reason why I do is because I want to check up on that brooding dude. Yuri would drag Changmin everywhere, something that annoyed him I could tell, but he’d surprise me when he would just follow. He doesn’t complain, make snide comments or roll his eyes. His eyes are blank when he grins at something Yuri said. He doesn’t do anything to change – he also lets it be. I may not have ever liked him for Yoona; but I just knew, from watching him move so calm, so precise… I knew how he ( _still_ ) held her close to his heart.

Today was the same. I had decided to help Yuri pick out flowers for her wedding (which was three weeks and six days away. It was such a short notice wedding, geez) and once again she dragged Changmin along. He was pleasant and quiet all throughout the day. Too quiet that I couldn’t take it anymore and I punched him in the gut while Yuri went off to talk to the florist. He glared at me (the old Changmin was still there!) and I could only grin in response.

I watched him rub his stomach, before scratching the back of his neck and exhaling. I notice the familiar chain around his neck – then  _the_  ring. My grin grew wider.

“You’re still wearing that?”

He looked at me surprised, and glanced at where my finger pointed. He rolled his eyes (another sign of the old Changmin!), and didn’t say anything. I nudged him with my shoulder.

“What ever happened to ‘it won’t matter in the morning’?” I teased, raising an eyebrow. “Or does it still matter?”

He shrugged, wrapping a hand around the ring. His non-answer only confirmed what I already knew very well about Changmin and Yoona. I nodded, and called out to Yuri cheerfully, leaving Changmin behind with his hand still around that ring.

It mattered. It  _always_  will

I grinned, stealing a look at Changmin’s distracted face. It’s just like I said–

My friends are adorable.


	13. [Yeonhee]

Yoona is impulsive and reckless. A little selfish as well–

Back then in elementary school, I had really big, puffy cheeks. Not the attractive type either, they were just round – like small flesh colored globes on my face. It wasn’t all that pretty and I suffered a lot from my classmates, especially the boys. I couldn’t do anything, so I studied. I studied so hard that I became  smarter than anyone in the school. No one teased me after that. They were too intimidated, I guess.

That is, except for Yoona. She would puff her cheeks out, pinch mine and laugh. It annoyed me at first and I would tell her she was immature and throw her a mean look. Yoona never took it to heart and just shrugged it off. She was the kind of girl who was impulsive, carefree and reckless – someone who sometimes let her feelings get away from her. I was the exact opposite.

No one else wanted to play with me but Yoona. I would ask her why she liked to spend time with me and she would say it was because we were friends. Then I would tell her that I don’t need friends because I was smart. I can still remember what she replied to me that day: “Yeonhee-yah, what’s so great about being so smart if you don’t have friends to smile with?”

I was taking up Psychology but we shared a Philosophy class back in University. And Yoona had come to class very late one morning. I was sitting at the front of the class and saved her a seat but when she walked in – she was too embarrassed to go and sit beside me. So instead, I gestured to her to go sit at the back. I didn’t know who Changmin was back then. I didn’t even know that the only son of Shim Incorporation – a business enterprise known best for working closely in importing and exporting goods around the world – would be sitting quietly at the back of the same Philosophy class.

But Shim Changmin was there, and I guess I was the reason why Yoona ever met him.

At first, I didn’t like Changmin. I thought he was a little too high and mighty for my taste. He had a too serious face and a quick temper that I disliked. I told Yoona this after she invited Changmin to eat with us during the breaks I was free and she laughed at me. She told me I was exactly the same, only female, and at first I was incredulous and felt insulted.

Then Changmin brought us lunch one day with Kibum in tow and said this in introduction to me: “Kibum, meet the love of your life.”

Yoona had laughed, throwing her head back, and I had hit him forcefully with my bag while blushing furiously but – well, the rest was history when Kibum looked at me and smiled.

I met the real Changmin after that. He became more relaxed, less careful – he was freer with us, with Yoona, than with anyone else. That Changmin became my friend too.

Changmin is calm and strong. A little selfish as well but–

You could say that I owe my life’s happiness to Changmin for introducing Kibum and I would tell you that that was true. I would also say that he owed his to me, even if he didn’t know it, because I saw how he looked at her, smiled at her, laughed with her and teased her… I’m very smart – and so I knew very well about his feelings.

So after what happened between Yoona and Changmin… well, of course, you’d think that since I knew Yoona longer I would be on her side (and I am) but Changmin is my friend too. Even after she told me (discreetly) what he had told her that morning, I believed he did the things he did because he loved her very much. He would never give up – I refuse to think that he did – but for the time being, (I knew) he simply did it out of love.

He was not as confident as he tries to be. Shim Changmin hides very well behind a mask. And Yoona was never the type who wore one until now.

I went to check on Yoona one day and I found her keeping everything that reminded her of her time with Changmin – books, photographs, cds and etc. – in boxes and putting them away. I asked her why she was doing this and she only smiled. I accompanied Kibum to Changmin’s as well and saw that he was doing the same too; except for the ring he still wore around a necklace I knew didn’t belong to him

When I asked, he only smiled in return. It pains me to see him this way… and to see that it was Yoona who gave up.

I’m watching her eat dinner with Kibum and me with us tonight, laughing and gushing about her date with Donghae as if all the love she felt for Changmin had disappeared in an instant. I frowned over my salad as Kibum’s hand squeezed mine but said nothing.

I could see it clearly. She never thought about Changmin’s feelings at all, only of her own and now she is happy. Or so it seems.

Together or apart Yoona and Changmin are stubborn, complicated and selfish. But they love each other… no matter what the other person says.

But I wonder: How long will this go on until someone finally stops pretending?


	14. [Donghae]

I hated Changmin before I knew about him.

I didn’t know, of course, at the time. But the feeling of hate felt inevitable the moment I laid eyes on her. I’m the type of person who liked to win. I thought, whoever knew this girl – whoever smiled with her, laughed with her, cried with her…   whoever it was that loved her before I did – that person I hated for being there  _first_. Because she was special. Yoona was special.

I met her at the best time. Before her, I had begun to feel like I was going nowhere… and she pulled me back. With her smile and the way her eyes twinkled in mischief as we waltzed through that first date. It was perfect. I’m indebted to Sooyoung. I found something – someone to live for. I smiled and laughed more now when I am with her than when I hadn’t known about her. Things were going well between her and I – it was paradise when I thought about her out in the world, being my girlfriend. Yoona made me happy. I felt like I had won something...

But she still held me in arms length. Her smiles still never reached her eyes enough. It wasn’t as perfect as I thought. And I didn’t like losing.

 

* * *

 

I hated Changmin when Kibum told us that story.

The day I met her best friend was the moment I was hoping for awhile. Meeting her parents would be too soon, and so her best friend was the next best thing – and I got to that point. I was ecstatic. Unfortunately, I celebrated too early and that story came out. I’m a great pretender, smiling and joking my way through my grief – but I saw that surprised look on her face, the soft cloud running over her features as the words sunk in. Someone had loved her – _really loved her -_ before I did.

I touched her hand and she smiled in response. The look is still there, except it’s transformed to something deeper. I hide the uneasiness I begin to feel behind a well-placed joke.

 

* * *

 

I hated Changmin when she came back and told me she would try.

She’d try to be better, try to love me. At that point, I would take anything she was willing to give me, because I loved her – but after thinking about it more, it felt fake. I knew she had good intentions but a shadow was still there – over her face and over her heart. Still, Yoona tried and for the moment, I’m fine with it. She let me be closer, and I feel her begin to love me as well. Though the shadow is there behind her smiles, I ignore it.

I never realized how much power that person had over her. I didn’t like it at all. More than ever, I wanted to win.

 

* * *

 

I hated Changmin the moment I meet him.

Of course, I didn’t know that befriending Kibum would also mean befriending the person I was always jealous of before I ever met him. But there I was, watching the man whom she had loved, raise his hand in greeting as Kibum and I waited in front of a tailor’s shop for grooms. I followed Kibum as he greeted the man approaching and introduced me with slight hesitation. I knew this because Kibum looked apologetically at Changmin before introducing us.

Changmin doesn’t let anything show and instead shook my hand calmly. When he spoke, his tone was even and cool.

“My name is Shim Changmin. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise. I’m Lee Donghae.”

This person was either blatantly indifferent or impressively believable in his nonchalance. I hide my uneasiness with a smile. “I’m also Yoona’s boyfriend.” It slipped out before I could stop it and Kibum stared at me, a little surprised. But Changmin smirked, nodding his head – and in a flash, I see it:

A shadow behind his eyes as he held on to a ring, dangling from a simple silver chain.

It was proof of something cherished… something he  _loved_. I choked on my jealousy and gulped it down. He spoke again in the same cool tone.

“I’m sure you’re treating her well.”  _Treat her better_ , was what he seemed to say.

“I am.”  _I will_ , was what I promised –  _I won_. I think myself bitter. But his only response was a fleeting smile.

“Good.”  _Good._

 

* * *

 

I hate Changmin–

He is indifferent, calm and precise – speaking politely as he argued with what we commented on how odd his tuxedos looked on him. He is quiet as he softly hummed a song I then realized meant something to him – to me, to her – and quickly touched the ring around his neck.

I smiled.  _I haven’t won… not yet._  Maybe…  _Not ever?_  (I hope not.)

I hate him because I realized I would lose.

I hate him… because Shim Changmin loves her–

(enough to hurt her, enough to give her up, enough to  _keep loving her_ )

–more than I ever will.


	15. [Yuri]

When I met Changmin, I wasn’t sure if he was for real. His iciness and calm personality towards everything looked to me as if he didn’t have a heart nor did he want one. He was a man perfectly content in his own solitude, despite how intelligent and attractive he was to the world. He would talk to me curtly and ignore me – and that almost never ever happens. I liked that. I have never met anyone like him before so I guess I also saw him as a project. Like a toy, to say a little cruelly. I wanted to see him break.

So when my father announced one night at dinner that I would be marrying the son of his biggest shareholder, Shim Incorporation, I was relieved to find out that it would be Changmin. I didn’t feel anything for him, at the time, but he was so cold that it was fascinating. Yunho-oppa was never like that. He always had a smile on his face for me. Changmin never did.

I didn’t expect to see another side of Changmin once we stepped on Korean land. I had tried for months to get him to open up to me but he always kept me far away and treated me like a pestering little sister. I didn’t mind of course, but it annoyed me just a bit as well. But to see him so shook up by our arrival in Seoul was interesting. He had begun to crack – and the Changmin I knew in Japan became a distant memory…

Then I met the girl whose name he whispered so silently one night, and the Changmin in Korea had begun to look even more appealing.

I befriended her, and was surprised to realize I liked this girl as well. Yoona was vibrant, beautiful and kind. I could definitely see why Changmin loved her but couldn’t understand how two people so in love could hurt each other. In that instance, I wanted to start a new project. I wanted to set things right.

But I didn’t expect to fall in love in the process.

Watching him look her, think of her – watching him love her silently, even after he had decided for himself to give her up, struck something inside me that I had kept well under my control before. The twinge wasn’t much at first, but gradually it had started to cut deeper and – there it was. I was in love all over again. Only, it wasn’t in my favor. Just as I expected it wouldn’t be, considering it was Shim Changmin.

“Changmin-oppa?”

I found him putting away some of his things in boxes. Books, cds, even clothes. I eyed everything suspiciously and looked up again at him. “Oppa, what are you doing?”

“I’m cleaning. What does it look like I’m doing?”

“I know that. But you could have just asked someone to do this for you. We have a schedule today…”

He looked at me like he did when I met him in a library in Japan. It was a look of annoyance mixed with rough indifference to what I said, and a soft pain throbbed in my heart. I held my breath.

“Just wait a while. I’ll be done soon.”

“Oppa. What are you really doing?” I pushed. It was a mistake to ask but I really wanted to know.

Instead of glaring at me, he laughed and shook his head. “You know, Yeonhee asked me the same question when she and Kibum came by the other day and I was doing the same thing.”

“Why didn’t you finish if you had already started this the other day?”

He shrugged and didn’t answer. Then he went back to what he was doing. I took a step closer and peered at the items in the box. There were Philosophy books, tattered CD cases and pictures in frames. I took one of those pictures out and looked at it. Immediately I wish I hadn’t.

“You’ll always love her… won’t you?” I said, more to myself than anything but I guess he heard it because Changmin stopped what he was doing and turned to me. I looked at him, embarrassed of myself as I fiddled with the frame of the photograph I pulled up. I showed it to him and smiled (I tried to anyway) sheepishly. “I meant this.”

Changmin looked at the photograph and didn’t say anything. Instead, he put down whatever it was he was holding and dusted himself off. Then he grabbed his jacket and keys and pulled the photograph out of my hands and placed it back into the box. His eyes bore into mine as I looked up at him, my heart beating steadily. I breathed.

“We’ll be late at the luncheon with our parents. Let’s go,” he said and patted me gently on the head. Just as he turned away, I saw a glimpse of it – the one thing I knew he won’t ever put away. My heart felt like falling from under me.

I turned back and picked up the frame again, pulling out the photo from inside it and studied it once again.

Yoona was smiling, facing forward at the camera with Yeonhee and Kibum as Changmin was looking at somewhere else with a small hint of a laugh on his face. They were sitting close to one another that it made me think it was an ordinary picture between friends…

“Yuri? Let’s go.” Changmin called and I snapped out of my reverie. Slowly, I traced the outline of the photograph and smiled weakly to myself. I breathed deeply and put a smile on my face.

“Coming, oppa!” I said, grabbing his arm as he sighed exasperated by my bubbly response. He wouldn’t know of course, what was inside of my mind – my heart. But I wanted to hold on, for as long as I could ( _should_ ). I had said I would help him – but things were different now…

Under my coat, inside a pocket – that picture lay hidden. I don’t know why I took it… They were friends once after all: Yoona and Changmin. And it was just an ordinary picture between friends...  _except it was  not_.

Partially hidden behind smiles and overlapping bodies, it was clear to see. Besides, people don’t hold on to something they don’t care about.

And in that image, there was only one person he (and  _she_ ) held on to.

You don’t hold on to someone you don’t love.

Changmin held on (that ring was proof)–

… and I held on to him.


	16. [Kibum]

> **Message:**  
>  We have to talk. Meet me at the old meeting place, 8pm.
> 
> **Send to:**  
>  Shim Changmin, Im Yoona.
> 
> **_Message Sent._ **

I met Changmin when I was eight years old. You should know how it usually goes… well, maybe not. Anyway, I was walking around a park one day with my parents when I saw a kid my age sitting in the sandbox reading a book. I was a  _normal_  child, and I thought reading was boring so naturally I thought the kid was boring too. I kicked sand on his face and the next thing I knew I was laying on the ground after getting drop kicked by the boring little boy I saw reading.

We became friends after that. The bonds of brotherhood cannot be broken after a good smack down (or in my case, kick down – if that was even a word. I don’t know any other eight year old with 2nd grade in Judo, do you?), and despite going to different primary, middle and high schools – we grew up together. Shim Changmin was my best friend ever since I could remember.

Of course his parents didn’t like me all that much. Well, his father certainly didn’t. I wasn’t from a rich family liked theirs. And Mr. Shim had a very keen take on social hierarchy. That never bothered me because Changmin hung out with me anyway. We were brothers after all.

On the day we applied for University, we were determined to get into the same University. I wanted to study Business and he wanted to study Law (even though his father didn’t like that idea so much). Luckily by the end of our senior year’s summer, we got accepted to one University – and our brotherhood lived on.

I met Yoona when I was twenty years old, along with the woman who would become the love of my life (as Changmin had said when he introduced me). During that time, Changmin had become friendlier – which was weird because he was always the aloof type, even when we were kids – and to be honest it had scared me just a little bit. One day I couldn’t take it anymore and asked him point blank what had gotten into him. He told me to follow him and after buying lunch, we headed towards a pair of girls sitting on one of the University’s round tables outside the courtyard.

The smile on Changmin’s face when he introduced me to Yoona told me everything. It was clear as day. Whoever couldn’t see through that was blind (that was Yoona, but that isn’t the point). I didn’t say anything back, and instead I befriended them.

We became quite a group after that: me, Yeonhee, Changmin and Yoona. We only met Sooyoung when she recognized Yoona off the street and came running towards us. But even then, we were close. And Changmin and Yoona, well, they were almost inseparable.

But now… four years later –

When Changmin left, he didn’t give a reason. He didn’t speak to me or left a message for Yoona. Even his own mother (I found out later) didn’t know he had gone to Japan. One day, he was just gone and Yoona and I were devastated (in our own ways). I felt like I had lost my brother, while Yoona...

Well, Changmin’s back now. And he hasn’t changed. He’s still the person I grew up with. The same quiet and responsible man I knew, who would obey his parents’ wishes as much as he could, even if it meant losing his heart in the process. He said he’s given up on her because it was the right thing to do. It’s a load of crap – but he’s my brother and I’ll understand him even when I don’t.

Yoona is different though. She’s changed, although for better or for worse, I have no idea. When I met Yoona, she was doe-eyed and dreamy. She had a romantic outlook on the world that was charming and infuriating at the same time – and it disappeared when Changmin left. I knew that she liked him as well but I guess I never realized how much until her smiles began to dissipate. Now, she’s grown up to be independent – unwilling to share her heart with any other man until—

You know that story, don’t you? I think I don’t have to explain.

Except I do have to explain one thing, but I don’t know if and how I should.

The dilemma is simple is enough to understand. On one hand, we have Yoona who has given up on the hope of understanding Changmin and is now trying to move on with Donghae. I have nothing against Donghae, but – I know how much she still loves Changmin. It’s easy enough to see, if only Yoona would really look within herself.

Then on the other hand, we have Changmin who has decided to take the road to martyrdom, agreeing to a marriage he doesn’t want and gave up the girl he loves more than anything with the illusion that it will make everything right in world. Now, of course it didn’t make anything right – if anything it made it worse, but at least we know his heart is in the right place, right?

These two are my family. And I cannot take a side. I’d like to though because it would make things so much easier. But then, what was the right thing to do is never easy to get. I knew that they couldn’t just give up. Not yet.

So where does this leave me? Stuck in between two of the best friends I’ve ever had in my life and wanting to make them stop hurting?

It leaves me to where I am right now. Eagerly waiting for them to show up near the old abandoned shack behind our University (it was where we used to meet  _like children_ ) after sending both of them a non-descript message. It may not be the best idea, but I had nothing else planned that could get them to talk. It’s been two and half weeks – the wedding is on its way. And if I don’t do anything it will–

I wait for an hour or so before my phone beeped and I got a message.

> **Sender:**   _Im Yoona_
> 
> **Message:**  
>  I can’t meet you. I’m meeting Donghae’s family tonight. Sorry.

I sighed. I knew that wasn’t her real reason… I knew she was running away. She had been avoiding me all week because I had wanted to talk to her about it. Changmin, I mean. I let out a deep breath just as I got another message.

> **Sender:**   _Shim Changmin_
> 
> **Message:**  
>  She’s happy, Kibum. That why she won’t come.

I look up surprised. I spot Changmin finally sitting on one of the round tables, waving at me slightly with an open hand. I wave back. He looked miserable but calm.

_Always so fucking calm._

“You have to make this work.” I called to him. He grimaced.

“Just leave us alone, Kibum.”

But where does this leave me… stuck in between my family and wanting to make it right?

Leave it alone?  _I can’t._


	17. ...where everything has a beginning

**[PART TWO]**

**_  
_ ** _I want to embrace you tightly,_

_Yet you are not mine…_

TAXI by TOHOSHINKI

 

**YOONA - - -**

“How was meeting the parents like last night?” Sooyoung asked, startling me inside my office by walking behind and poking me with her index finger. I jumped a little bit, throwing a dirty look at her and composed myself. She was looking at me like she knew something I didn’t.

“It was fine, but what is it you’re not telling me?” I asked her, raising an eyebrow. She grinned, shrugging her shoulder as she casually walked around my office with her hands behind her back. “Did you need anything, Sooyoung?”

“Nope. I just wanted to say hi.”

I huffed. “Right. Well then, hello – I’m pretty busy right now, so I won’t be much fun to talk to.”

Sooyoung grinned, nodding her head. She tilted her head to the side and peeked at what I was working on. With a crinkle on her nose, she asked me, “What are you working on right now anyway?”

I stopped, looking down at my daily planner and the pile of wedding magazines on top of my desk and sighed. “Well, Mrs. Kwon asked me to help plan Yuri’s bachelorette party,” I said softly, half hoping Sooyoung didn’t hear or else she’d have my head.

Unfortunately she did, and now her eyes were widened in shock. She quickly stepped towards me and I was almost afraid she’d hit me with a shovel if she had one. I smiled sheepishly at her as she shook her head at me in disbelief.

“So let me get this straight – you’re catering at the wedding of the man you love to another girl who’s become one of our friends and now you’re also planning her bachelorette party?” She put her hands on my desk. “Have you gone out of your mind? You’re practically giving him away!”

“Mrs. Kwon is a client! I can’t say no to a client,” I argued, going back to my planning. “And who’s giving away who?! We didn’t belong to each other in the first place.”

“Oh don’t give me that look, Sooyoung. It’s done, finite; it’s all in the past. I’ve gotten over it so why won’t you?”

She smirked at me. “Then why are you shaking?” she asked, looking closely at me. I glanced at my hands – watching them tremble slightly. I swallowed as Sooyoung let out a sigh of annoyance. “Aren’t you tired of this game? I’m not even really involved and I’m sick of it.”

“I thought you never liked him for me,” I said plaintively, ignoring the trembles and resuming my writing. “You always said I deserved better.”

“Yeah,” she replied, “you do. But didn’t you always tell me that had a better side to him? It took a while, but now I understand what you meant.”

“Are you saying he’s better now?”

“I’m saying he’s always been better. He just has this nasty habit of keeping it like an imbecile.”

I laughed despite myself and shook my head. I thought of what she said that made sense and then thought of Donghae and my promise to him. I smiled slightly. “I have Donghae… and I really like him.”

Sooyoung shook her head. “Come here.” She stepped beside my desk and put her arms around me for a hug. “I never said that you didn’t, Yoong. I know you do but what I’m saying is–” she ruffled my hair,

“There’s a difference.”

 

* * *

 

**CHANGMIN - - -**

“That was real smooth…” I drawled, earning a pillow thrown at my face by Kibum inside my apartment. He had decided to sleep over after his failed attempt to get Yoona and me to talk last night and I just couldn’t say no after what I did.

“Look, if you’re not going to make things right with Yoona – then maybe  _you_  can help  _me_  propose to  _my girlfriend_  so I can get my happily ever after.” Kibum retorted, glaring at me before clearing his throat again to begin his written monologue for Yeonhee.

“How much more of a girl could you be, Kibum?” I said under my breath. He kicked me in the shin and shushed me. I tried not to laugh again when he started. He looked ridiculous but determined – I was envious of him in that aspect. He had the courage I didn’t have.

I sat back listening to him practice his speech and smiled slightly to myself. I knew the moment I met Yeonhee that she would perfect for Kibum. I don’t know what it was about her but it was there and it worked for her and Kibum to be together. Well, no matter how messed up my life is – at least I managed to not ruin their love story.

Come to think of it. I could have not ruined mine if—I laughed myself, shaking my head.  _It’s not supposed to matter anymore, right Shim?_  I reminded myself.

“Hey,” I nudge him, “she’ll say yes however way you propose. Yeonhee loves you.”

Kibum stared at me for a moment before smiling, scratching the back of his neck. “Now that is what I mean about helping me. Thanks.”

“Now if only you can be as helpful when I try to fix what’s wrong with you and Yoona…”

I rolled my eyes at him. “Not this again.”

He laughed, leaning back against his chair. “You know one day, you’re going to crack and you’ll wish you’d told me everything before it all blows up in your face.”

“Gee thanks,” I said, my tone annoyed, “why don’t you go back to saying cheesy lines, okay?”

There was a knock on the door and I stood up while continuing to mock Kibum. I wasn’t really expecting anyone but when I opened the door, I wish I had known who was there before I got there. Right in front of me was a purposeful, important-looking middle-aged man wearing a tight smile on his face. My blood immediately ran cold as I looked at him straight in the eye.

“Kibum, you need to go.”

“What? Why do I—” Kibum complained, jumping up and walking towards me.

The man outside my door smiled, tilting his head in greeting towards him. Kibum immediately stood up straighter next to me. I restrained myself from wanting to slam the door on his face.

This man’s eyes were cold, wicked almost. I stared back at him levelly.

“Father.”

“Hello… my son.”

 

* * *

 

**YOONA - - -**

“Hey, Yuri.” I greeted, sliding next to Yuri at a cafe near the office.

She had called me suddenly after Sooyoung came to disrupt me of my work and asked me to meet her there. Of course, I didn’t think it was anything bad – until I saw the almost afraid expression on her face. I tapped her on her shoulder, looking at her curiously.

Yuri looked up, fiddling with her straw and biting the end of it. I guessed that she was nervous because she was looking at me from the corner of her eye and glancing away just as quickly to avoid looking like she was staring. I was confused.

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh well it’s…” she sighed, biting her lip. The way she was acting started to make me nervous. I shook her slightly.

“Yuri-yah, what’s so wrong that you can’t tell me?” I smiled softly at her, “We’re friends right? You can tell me anything.”

“We are friends – but I don’t know if I should say this. It might make me look bad to you.

I stared at her silently, confused with what she was saying. “Yuri-yah. What is it?”

She stopped fiddling with her straw and straightened her back. Yuri’s hands were cold as she held mine and squeezed them. Then she looked me straight in the eyes and spoke:

“Yoona-unni. I …”

 

* * *

 

**CHANGMIN - - -**

“What are you doing here?”

My father’s cold smile was still etched on his face. He moved slowly, walking around my living room, looking at everything. His bodyguard stood nearby, stoic and with his sunglasses on. I stepped back, putting my hand inside my pockets, and breathing deeply.

“I’ll ask you again, father. What are you doing here?”

“I heard from my sources that Mr. Im’s daughter is catering for your wedding next month.” He replied coolly, glancing my way as my hands began to feel numb. I swallowed, stilling myself and waiting for him to continue. My father studied me with his narrow eyes and smirked. “You should know your place, Changmin.”

I straightened my back. “I do.”

“You remember the last time, don’t you?”

 _How could I forget?_ I thought to myself, touching the ring dangling from around my neck. Before graduating University, I had planned to do something special for… Yoona… but I kept it a secret to everyone. I didn’t even tell Kibum about it. No one knew but me and the jeweler I met that one day. I thought I had done well in hiding my plans from everyone – but of course my father was much more resourceful.

His goons found me and took me to him. There he–

“Of course, Mr. Im’s daughter seems to be much better at handling her business than her father was. Plus with your friend, Kibum, they’re created quite a marketable business all on their own. It would take a while to take it down.”

“Don’t.” I said, gripping my hands into fists and he looked at me with an amused and almost wicked look in his eye. The same look he gave me when he told me to leave for Japan immediately and he got his way. My father is powerful – and as much as I wanted to fight – I can’t risk anything. “Don’t pull them into this.”

His look was unconvinced. He raised eyebrow. “Why shouldn’t I? You almost destroyed everything I’ve worked for four years ago over that girl.”

“She has absolutely nothing to do with this.”

“Of course she does. You almost asked her to marry you—”

 **BAM.** The bodyguard standing nearby straightened and prepared himself. My father held his hand up to stop him.

I hadn’t realized I had punched the glass on wall next to me when my father suddenly stopped talking that it cracked. Pain spread through my knuckles but I held it in and sighed. I turned to look back at him and found him once again smirking at me. I calmed myself, breathing slowly before straightening my back and held is gaze dead on.

“I’m marrying Kwon Yuri, father. Just as you wished.” My breaths were settling now, coming in more evenly. “So leave her alone.”

My father smiled. “Fine,” he said, heading towards the door. “But I’ll be watching you.” And he was out the door before I could reply.

I let out a deep breath, sitting down as I massaged my hand. The door clicked open and I didn’t bother to look to knew who it was.

“When I tell you to leave, you should just leave Kibum.” I said, groaning slightly as the pain doubled when I massaged it near the wrist. I stood up silently and headed for the kitchen. Kibum followed, straying a few steps away from me.

He stared my back – I knew because I felt it – and I sighed loudly to snap him out of his reverie. I put my hand inside a bowl of ice and let of a relieved breath as the pain started to subside.

“You left the day Yoona’s father’s company went under?” His statement sounded more like a question.

I nodded.

“And you wanted to propose to—”

“That’s in the past, Kibum.”

He shook his head. He glared at me, staring me down.

“No. Enough secrets, Shim Changmin. You need to tell me the truth.”

I sighed.

“You need to tell me what happened.”


	18. ...when the past might catch up with us

**YOONA - - -**

“—unni?”

Somehow the air in the room was gone and I couldn’t breathe. My heart started to clench as I blinked several times to try and focus. But I couldn’t – not when the lights in front of me began to blur and Yuri’s voice had begun to sound distorted.

Yuri’s tone sounded so distraught. “Oh, Yoona – I’m so sorry. You have to believe me. I didn’t mean for it to happen. I never thought I would ever- I’m so sorry.”

I waved her off with my free hand and closed my eyes, keeping whatever it was that I wanted to say from coming out of my mouth. Words that went along the lines of:  _It’s not your fault; he and I were never together anyway. How could you? I still love him—_

No. Those words wouldn’t work anyway. Not anymore. I finally regain my composure, and I look at Yuri.

“Yoona…” Her face looked so guilty that I felt for her. I smiled (if it came out forced I wouldn’t know) and patted her hand. She turned to me with those apologetic eyes.

“I’m not… angry at you, Yuri.”

“But you should! I had initially planned on helping the both of you in fixing your relationship but I ended up–” She stopped, sighing loudly and shaking her head. “I’m so sorry. I’m useless.”

I shook my head. “No, you’re not. There just wasn’t anything you could do to fix it.”

“That’s not true. I just didn’t try hard enough!”

“No, Yuri. I think… I think I gave up a long time ago. He was gone for so long, and I knew how he felt about me. And even when he came back… he never said anything to make me think otherwise…”

> _“Why?”_
> 
> _“Because I love you…”_

“…so you see, there really wasn’t anything you could do to change things between Changmin and me.” The words he spoke from before echoed in my thoughts and I tried to block them out – but I couldn’t. “Our story is finished, Yuri. It’s time for me to start a new one without him, and likewise for him, a new one with you.”

“Unni…”

A knock from outside the window startled us and I smiled when I saw Donghae on the other side. He waved at me, grinning and I waved back. When I turned back to Yuri, she was watching me, her face still sad. I nudged her, sighing.

“Did you really mean what you said? That you…” I held my breath as I spoke the rest of the way, “… love him?”

A part of me knew she did and was happy. Elated even. But another part, a secret part, felt hollow and empty when she turned to me and nodded earnestly. I let out my breath and nodded back, looking away quickly just as tears came to my eyes. I stopped before they fell and hastily brushed them away.

“Good.” I said, standing up. “I have to go now. Donghae’s here.”

Yuri stood up as well, bowing to me slightly. “I’m sorry again. And – I hope you really are okay with this. Please?”

I don’t say anything, but instead I turn and walk away.

Donghae is waiting for me.

And Changmin… well…

 

* * *

 

**CHANGMIN - - -**

“Tell me what happened. Everything.”

I shook my head. “No.”

“Shim Changmin. Don’t be an asshole.”

Kibum was angry. I knew it from the way he glared and stared me down. I also knew that whatever I say or do wouldn’t make him back down from getting what he wanted. And he wanted the truth. I just couldn’t risk telling him that. Even if he was my best friend.

“Some things are better left as a secret. Whatever it happened in the past should stay in the past. I don’t want to complicate things further for Yoona or you, okay? So just—drop it.”

He scoffed, shaking his head angrily. “Are you serious? Have you ever even thought that maybe the reason why things ended up like this is because you kept whatever it is you’re hiding from Yoona? Or me? Did it ever occur to you – that we wouldn’t have to be in this messed up time if you had only told me what was going on between you and your insane father? Because maybe then – things would have ended differently.”

“Like how? Like if I had disobeyed my father and ran away with Yoona, we’d live happily ever after?” I shook my head, rolling my eyes. “Endings like that never happen in real life, Kibum. My father would eventually find us, and he’d do anything to keep me from destroying his company’s image.”

“That’s crap.”

I sighed, shrugging. “I’m the only son of the biggest import and export company in the whole of Korea. I have two sisters, both of whom are married to the heirs of the rich and powerful clients my father’s company has. My parents may have given me that chance to study and pursue law – but he won’t let me marry out of my…” I stop for a moment. “… rank. Or so he says.”

Kibum looked wholly shocked. “I knew your family was uptight but… is that really how the Shim family goes through things like marriage?”

“My mother was lucky. My father loves her and vice versa, but then she was chosen for him by his father so.” I shrugged.

“But you were going to propose.”

I paused. “Yes.”

“You have to tell me everything, Changmin. I have so many questions in my head. Things like, why didn’t you go for it? Or where’s the engagement ring now? Or what did your father mean about Yoona’s father’s company?” He sighed. “You have to tell me. You owe me that much.”

I sighed, my hand reaching up to my neck to hold the necklace I had on. My fingers clasped the ring that dangled from it and I looked at it for a moment. It glittered from the light, and for a second I saw Yoona’s smiling face flash through my mind. Kibum sat across from me and looked at the ring as well.

“Changmin?”

“Yeah.” I let out a deep breath. “Okay.”

And I started…

 

* * *

 

**YOONA - - -**

“I’ve been wondering about something…”

I was spacing out – maybe that was why Donghae suddenly spoke. I sat up straighter and promptly  cleared my throat and looked up at Donghae, studying his face.

His arm was around my shoulders as we sat comfortably on the couch in my living room. I tilted my head, “What?”

Donghae only smiled down at me and shifted in his seat.

“What is it, oppa?” I asked, blinking up at him and nudged him with an elbow. He shook his head; letting out a breath threw his nose, he spoke again. “It’s stupid. I probably shouldn’t ask you until we get to 200 days or something.”

I laughed slightly, smacking him slightly on his shoulder and gave him a pointed look. He was avoiding my eyes – and he never does that – I started to feel nervous. “Whatever it is, I’ll tell you if you really want to know.”

“Really?” he asked; his eyes boring into mine. I nodded. “Yes.”

“I want you to tell me about the guy who gave you that ring around your neck…”

My body immediately tensed up and my hand went to my neck, feeling nothing around it. Then I remembered I had thrown it that night Changmin showed up… I gulped, lowering my head slightly. He was wondering about that?  _About… Changmin?_

“There used to be a ring around your neck, dangling from a silver link necklace –  I can only assume it came from someone and I was wondering who it was.”

Oh. So that was why… “Well, remember when you met Kibum? He told you that story about a friend we both had–”

“You mean, Changmin?” Donghae said his name so bluntly, I would have mistook his tone for jealousy.

I stared at him in surprise. “How did you…?”

“I met him with Kibum to go look for tuxedos for the wedding you invited me for.”

“Oh.” I shifted nervously, vaguely wondering why he was still asking if he already knew Changmin. I licked my lips and took a deep breath. “What did you want to know?”

“I want to know what happened after that.”

I nodded. “Okay.”

And I started…


	19. ...what She remembers

** YOONA - - - **

“I know you liked this guy, Yoona. Maybe even loved him. That’s why I’m so curious.” Donghae said, looking straight at me, “It must difficult for you but – I really want to… understand.”

“Why?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know either. I just know I have to. You don’t want to tell me?”

I shook my head. “I would like you to know. I mean, we have been going out for a hundred days or so already… I just – I don’t know what good it would do if I told you.”

“Want me to tell you about my first love?” Donghae said cheekily. The tone of his voice was light, but there was an underlying tone I’m so sure was there. I rolled my eyes at him and smacked his arm hard. He grinned, rubbing his arm.

“Don’t you think the past should stay in the past?” I said so softly, part of me wished he didn’t hear me. But of course he did and he shook his head.

“The past is what made the present. Before we met, Sooyoung said that you used to be so bright and cheerful. Honestly, I was afraid you’d be the cheerleader type and I hated that kind of girl.” His eyebrow was raised when he said this and I had to smile.

“But then I saw you and you weren’t as bubbly as I expected.”

Of course I wasn’t. I nodded sheepishly, biting my lip. “Yeah…"

“I have a feeling there was something that happened with Changmin. Something that changed you somehow…”

He took my hand, and as I looked down at our hands, he squeezed them softly. “I know you remember. Won’t you tell me?”

Remember?

Of course I did.

I remember what happened.

“Okay.”

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes briefly. I spoke once I opened them.

“Changmin has always been indifferent. When I first met him, he barely even looked at me. But there was something good about him that I felt and liked, so I befriended him. To my surprise, he let me into his life and I got to know him better…”

“He was smart, sarcastic and surprisingly funny. With the way he was brought up, I didn’t think he would be able to crack a good joke.” I said wistfully, smiling out the corner of my mouth.

Donghae nodded, slowly and letting the words sink in. I held my breath for his reaction but he didn’t say anything. Instead, he looked at me pointedly – as if asking with his eyes, “Then what happened?”

 

* * *

 

**FOUR YEARS AGO…**

“I saw something today but I won’t te~ell!” Yeonhee chirped, surprising me from my note taking.

I blinked up at her in surprise as she sat down in front of me, grinning from ear to ear.

Here was one of the most serious people I’ve ever met – she was an honor student and on her way to become a doctor – and yet, she was smiling and laughing excitedly. I knew my friend Lee Yeonhee well enough to know that this person in front of me must be an alien.

“Eh?” I said, more to the air than to anyone, and raised an eyebrow at her. “Who are you and what have you done to my friend?”

Yeonhee wrinkled her nose at me. “I’m your friend, Yoong.”

“Are you sure? Because my friend doesn’t usually look this excited after getting off her part-time job.”

She laughed, “Come on! Didn’t you hear what I said? I saw something today and I won’t tell you!”

“The way you say it makes me curious!” I laughed, slapping her hand playfully from across the table. “Does it have something to do about Hankyung? Did you see him practicing how to ask Sooyoung out or something? Because if you did, we have to help him out! That boy needs to learn Korean faster!”

“Wait, what? Does Sooyoung like Hankyung?!” She shook her head, laughing as well, “Okay, I agree with you but no, that wasn’t what I saw.”

I clicked my tongue. “Ugh, too bad. Still, I’m interested. Yah, Yeonhee – tell me already!”

“It’s a secret!”

I frowned and Yeonhee laughed again, ruffling my hair. I rolled my eyes at her as I combed my hair with my fingers. She spoke again in that overly-happy tone:

“Let me ask you this first: If, for example, I saw  _Changmin_ buying a  _ring_  for–let’s say,  _you_ … would that make you happy?”

I felt the roots of my hair standing up, and my cheeks begin to burn. I licked my lips and went back to my papers after saying a quiet, “Yes” in response to her question.

“So you really really like Changmin?”

I began to shuffle my papers to appear busy and nonchalant. Too bad my cheeks were giving me away. I coughed, “Yes."

Yeonhee squealed, slapping her hand on the table in excitement. And I begged her to be silent. She couldn’t sit still though and grabbed my hands. “I knew it! Oh my gosh, you should tell him!”

“Will you tell me what you saw then?”

“Nope! Because if I told you, you wouldn’t tell him!”

I threw a piece of crumpled paper at her. “I hate you.”

“Okay, I’ll tell you but you won’t believe it! I saw—”

My phone started to ring, the vibration sounds were loud enough to hear even though my phone was in my pocket. I put up a hand and reached for it, flipping it open without looking at the screen. “Hello?”

/Yoona. It’s Mom. Honey… we need you here at home. Please. Your father—/

The panicked tone in my mother’s voice surprised me. “Mom?” I started to say, but the line clicked off and I stood up abruptly.

“What’s wrong?” Yeonhee asked, looking alarmed.

I shook my head, picking up my things hastily. I gathered my books under one arm, and tried to balance myself as I picked up my bag. “I have to go home. Mom said something about a crisis and dad—I have to go.”

“Oh! Yoona! Wait!”

I didn’t wait to listen, and I ran.

**/ / / / / / /**

“Mom! What was your call about? What happened?” I cried, just as I burst into my family home.

My mother was sitting quietly over at the dining table, staring at her coffee cup. I rushed towards her, dropping my bags on the floor. I shook her once, and she looked at me with tears in her eyes. My worry began to get bigger.

“Mom? What’s wrong? What’s the matter?”

She shook her head, breathing deeply. “Your father lost the company. I only found out today… and he’s…” she trailed off, letting the tears flow freely now.

“He hasn’t eaten in three days, darling. I thought he was still going to work all that time but he hasn’t. He’s been off drinking and when he collapsed today at a bar – I picked him up and that’s when I found out…”

“Dad wouldn’t do that… he’s worked so hard for the company. How could this have happened?”

“He lost all of his clients one by one, he said. And then another company bought him out without his knowing –  I’m not sure what happened, but it’s killing him.”

I bit my lip, hugging my mother’s trembling body closer to me. “Where is he?”

She pointed discreetly towards their room and I gathered myself to walk over. I knocked twice before opening the door, seeing my father lay unmoving on his side on the bed. “Dad?” I whispered as I stepped closer.

“Yoona?” he replied, his throat raspy. The room smelled faintly of alcohol and I winced as the scent got stronger as I approached him.

“Dad… dad, what happened?”

“It happened so fast, I didn’t realize that I had lost everything in a matter of days.” His voice broke into sobs as I kneeled in front of him. I hugged my father as he cried.

I waited patiently until his tears subsided. “Do you know who did this?”

 “I don’t know. I don’t know.”

**/ / / / / / /**

/Yoona?/

/Changmin – I… I need you./

/… What’s wrong?/

/My dad lost his company. He’s not doing well with this and he’s hurting himself. I don’t know what to do! I hadn’t even thought of a plan after graduation and this happens!/

/Calm down, Yoona–/

/Please… I don’t know what to do./

/.../

/Changmin?/

/… Where are you?/

**/ / / / / / /**

 “And that’s what happened.”

The air was cool against my skin as I related the news to Changmin later that day. He came earlier than I anticipated at my parents’ home and promptly took me to a quiet and secluded spot in the park I loved so much. He didn’t speak when he arrived, or when he grabbed my hand and led me to his car. He didn’t say anything while I started to tell my story nor did he look my way.

At best, it seemed like he was trying to avoid me.

“Changmin? Aren’t you going to say anything?” I said, glancing at him sitting beside me. He drew in a deep breath and closed his eyes. “Changmin?” My hand went over to touch his shoulder–

–but he quickly drew away, standing up abruptly.

“What do you want me to say?”

“What?” I stood up as well, staring at his back, confused. “Nothing. I just needed to tell somebody…”

He shook his head, putting his hands in his pockets. “Then why didn’t you call Yeonhee or Kibum? I shouldn’t be the one hearing this.”

I could see him trembling, and I wondered why. I stepped closer. “But I wanted you to know…”

“Whatever. What I don’t get is how your mother could stand how pitiful your father is being.” His tone was harsh, cold. I took a step back surprised.

“How could you say that?” I nudged him hard, “My mother loves my father. She’ll stand by him no matter what happens.”

“Love, huh?”

The air was cool – but it was getting colder each time he spoke. My heart began to beat faster, then faster – almost of afraid of what he was to say next.

“I’ll never fall in love.”

The look on my face, I was sure, was one of complete shock. His statement was completely out of nowhere but somehow, his words made my heart constrict. “Really? Ever?”

He looked at me briefly in disdain and then bent his head down, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. I watch him patiently, worried for his next words.

“Love messes you up.” He said, staring into my eyes, “It’ll take you up for a few moments and then pull you down. It’s not worth it.”

He took a step forward, slowly walking away from me, humming a song under his breath. I follow him with my eyes; the tears slowly forming but I held them back as best I could. With a shaky breath and a forced smile, I walk up beside him:

“But, Changmin… you can’t mean that. I’m sure it’ll be worth it when you meet the right person.”

I try my best to sound cheerful. But his words had hurt me and I couldn’t contain myself. Somehow the flatness, the bitterness, finds its way into my voice.

“It doesn’t matter.”

“She could be anywhere!”

He continued walking, and I followed him. “And you know this because?”

“I know because–” I bit my lip. “I know because you’re the right person to me!”

I clamped my hand over my mouth the moment the words came out and he stopped mid-step. Part of me begged for him not to turn around, but a bigger part wanted him to. And he did… he looked at me again; this time with a different expression on his face.

Partly annoyed, a little apologetic too, I decide. It was such a sad look too – the way his eyes darkened… I held my breath and waited for him to speak.

Changmin took another deep breath, pulling out one hand (balled into a fist) from his pocket and looked at it for a moment. Then his expression changed and he fixed his (now) cold gaze at me.  I put my hand over my heart because it’d begun to hurt.

“That right person you’re talking about… that person is  _not_  here.”

 

* * *

 

“I never saw him again after that. He had left two weeks before graduation and that was the end.”

Donghae’s expression was unreadable when I looked up at him. But his eyes were kind, and he held me closer to him. I lay my head on his shoulder.

“Do you think that maybe… he had a reason for leaving?”

I shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. He pretty much crushed me after that night.”

He nodded. “And now?”

I shook my head. “He’s getting married, and I’ve… moved on.”

Donghae didn’t say a word after that.


	20. ...what He has hidden in memories

**CHANGMIN - - -**

“Where should I begin?” I asked, swiftly standing up to get myself a glass of water from the kitchen. Kibum followed suit (he was obviously keeping an eye on me, making sure I wasn’t going to go anywhere) and shrugged. **  
**

“How about just telling me what happened that day?” he said, looking me in the eye.

I nodded, gulping down my water. I stared at the glass for a moment, trying to collect my thoughts and finding that it was difficult. Of course I remembered that day well: I had acted worse that day than any day of my life and I’d always regretted it. I almost lost my nerve halfway but then I had to face reality… I didn’t do it for myself – I did it for her.

Not that she’ll ever find out. I’m getting married after all… in a week and three days.

“You know, I hate it when you stare off into space like that. It makes you look like an idiot.”

I laughed despite myself, and turned back to Kibum’s anxious face. I clapped him on the shoulder and pushed him back to the living room. “I was just thinking of where to begin, Kibum.”

“And have you thought of it yet?"

“Maybe.”

He hit me over the head with his right hand, glaring at me. “I’m not kidding, you jerk.”

“I know you’re not. But you have to understand – some things aren’t easy to talk about.” I sighed, sitting down on one end of the couch and slouching. “And more than that, there are some things that I regret, but can’t take back… even if I wanted to.”

“But I will tell you. Not just because you’ll kill me if I don’t,” I said, looking at Kibum with a pointed look, “but also because maybe if I did, it might lessen the grief I’ve felt over the years.”

“I don’t know about that, Changmin. But… go ahead.” Kibum replied, his expression curious and patient.

I licked my lips.

“It took me awhile before I could get used to her. Yoona, I mean. You know how she is – sweet, bright and… loving. At first she annoyed the heck out of me, being so perky and all – but gradually, I started to tolerate it. I started to like her… maybe a little too much.” I saw Kibum grinning out of the corner of my eye and I felt my cheeks start to warm. I cleared my throat.

“Anyway, it was a few days before graduation. You guys were completing a final project and I had a whole week off because I finished early. Around that time, those feelings I had for Yoona grew – quite substantially – and being the way I am; I’ve never ever felt the need to confess to a girl in my life, much less propose to one so–” I took a deep breath. “– it was all very new to me and I didn’t know what to do. Then one day, I made up my mind–”

 

* * *

 

**FOUR YEARS AGO…**

“What in the world came over me and drove me to go all the way here?” I asked myself, staring down at my steering wheel as I stopped in front of a small jewelry boutique. I glanced at my side, checking if there was anyone I knew around and then mentally kicked myself in the head for being so paranoid. I took a deep breath and looked out to my right, taking in the boutique’s display and groaned into the steering wheel after a moment.

I’ve never felt so cowardly in my entire life.

 _Get a hold of yourself, Changmin_ , I thought, releasing the air inside my lungs.  _It’s just a shop. You’ve gone into plenty of these while carrying your mother’s shopping bags before._

 _That makes you sound so lame_ , my conscience countered and I (begrudgingly) agreed. However, I began to still myself and got out of the car. Taking another deep breath, I trudge on towards the shop.

“Good day, Mister– Changmin?!” Lee Yeonhee, a friend and classmate, stood shocked to see me enter the boutique. I had completely forgotten that she always took the day shift on Thursdays and today was (coincidentally) a Thursday. I almost slapped myself and ran but something inside of me made me stay rooted in my spot.

“Hey, Yeonhee.” I greeted, nonchalantly, going over the selections inside the glass cabinets. I could see her raise her eyebrow at me out of the corner of my eye.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, crossing her arms in front of her and peering at me suspiciously. I shrugged.

“No reason. Just looking around.” I replied.

She shook her head. “Right. You regularly check into a jewelry boutique shops in your free time, Shim?”

“… Yeah.”

“That sounded  _really_ convincing.” Yeonhee grinned at me, her expression changing into a knowing one. I blinked slowly and turned around, hiding my already burning face when I realized what her look meant.

“Oh my goodness, you’re so cute when you realize that I know the reason why you’re here.” She exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear as she clasped her hands together. “You do realize Yoona doesn’t really wear jewelry right? She tends to lose them.”

I scratched the back of neck and sighed. “I know.”

“Well of course  _you_  know! But it’s so sweet that you’re buying her something for graduation! Hey, you should give Kibum pointers for these types of things.” Yeonhee said, smirking at me. She tapped the glass. “So what will it be?”

“Yeonhee, slow down will you? You’re giving me a headache. And this isn’t for graduation.”

“Come on Shim! If it’s not for graduation, then what are you giving Yoona for?”

I didn’t answer but instead busied myself into peering at the selection of rings in front of me. “Could I look at these?” I said, pointing at a particular box. Yeonhee looked surprised but took out the selection I had pointed out anyway. And as I studied them… she seemed to finally catch on, and for a moment I didn’t dare look up.

It took a minute or so but eventually she gasped and grabbed my arm from across the counter.

“YAH! Shim Changmin! Are you going to – I mean, you can’t be, right? You haven’t even – wait, are you?” she spoke in a low volume but her grip on my arm was painful. I winced, but managed to smile at her and she let go, backing up in shock.

“… OH. MY. GOSH.”

I ignored her and went back to the rings in front of me. I picked one up and immediately saw her in my mind. I grinned. “This is the one.” I said, showing it to Yeonhee (she had finally started to calm down).

She looked down at it and smiled. The ring was simple, with its platinum band and an almost star-shaped cut diamond. Her eyes had always made me think of stars – and so it seemed to fit. Yeonhee nodded her head approvingly.

“You’re going for it, huh?” she said, as she rung up my purchase and wrapped the ring into its little box.

I grinned. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I said simply, taking the small bag from her hand. She wrinkled her nose at me.

“Don’t tell a soul!” I muttered and waved at her before leaving.

I finally let out a relieved breath once I got inside my car. Leaning back, I pulled out the little box and stared down at it – my heart pounding against my chest as I thought about the next (huge) step I was planning to do.

“Let’s hope she says yes,” I muttered under my breath as I enveloped my hand around the box.

Then a knock came upon my car window: I looked… and froze.

I recognized who it was. How could I not? They were practically around my father’s side at all times. That is, except for today. I pulled down the window and met the man’s gaze with a level stare.

“Mr. Changmin. You have to come with us.”

**/ / / / / / /**

“You’ve been quite busy.” My father spoke, scribbling down on his paperwork as I deftly entered the room (his office) with his bodyguards. It was a long drive from downtown Seoul towards my home and I dreaded it. Seeing my father now only meant one thing: trouble.

I didn’t answer and instead put my hands in my pockets (burying the little box deep into the one on my right). I looked around the room, vaguely noting the family portrait that hung at the wall beside me and sighed. My father looked up, pulling his pen down and laced his fingers together.

“I’m not going to let you make a mistake, Changmin.” He said, staring at me. I met his gaze evenly. “I’m sure she’s a fine girl – but she won’t do anything for our family, much less to your career.”

I gripped the box around my fingers. “She doesn’t have to. I want her the way she is.”

He smirked at me. “Don’t be foolish,” he said, standing up. “You’re only twenty-one, Changmin. You have your whole life ahead of you. You can’t make such a big mistake while you’re young. You’ll ruin your future.”

I scoffed. “My future? Or the future of this company?”

“Isn’t it the same thing?” he replied, “The future of this company depends on your future as well. You know this, Changmin. That’s why you also took a Business degree along with your pre-Law.”

“I can do well regardless of my age or education, Father.”

“Well of course you can. You’re my son. But I do worry about your priorities. I can’t have you married to someone you hardly know.”

I shook my head, sighing deeply. “Hardly know? Don’t you mean someone who’s not of your liking?”

“Don’t act like a child, Changmin.” A chill ran up my spine as his tone changed and he spoke, “I’ve been watching you for awhile. And this girl, she doesn’t fit into our plans. I’m not going to let you make a mistake.”

“Besides… love fades. You’ll see.”

“Does that apply to you?” I said, gripping my hands into fists inside my pockets. “Or does it only apply to your children?”

He glared at me. “Do not test my patience, Changmin. You’ll understand when you’re older.”

“I won’t.” I retorted, my tone rising, “I’m not going to let you do this. Im Yoona is special, Father. She won’t ruin the future of the company or mine. If anything, she’ll make it brighter. Love fades? I know it doesn’t or else you would have left mother years ago.”

“Yoona is special. And I love h–”

“Ah! I bought her father’s company today. I thought it would take awhile but – apparently, her father doesn’t really know much about stocks.”

I drew in a sharp breath. “What?”

The look on my father’s face made my blood run cold, and for a split second I was terrified of him. With a smirk, he spoke again in his cool, business-like tone: “Why don’t you call her right now?”

His eyes never left me as I fumbled to get my phone from my pocket. I swiftly pushed 1 and immediately it started to dial. I counted the seconds as I waited (phone over my ear and staring back at my father’s relaxed figure) for her to pick up.

“Yoona?”

“Changmin – I… I need you.” Her voice sounded distorted, sad and scared. I gulped; the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach became unbearable as I looked back at my father’s knowing face.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, my own voice unsure as the realization dawned to me.

“My dad lost his company. He’s not doing well with this and he’s hurting himself,” she cried; her voice breaking into short sobs and my heart clenched. “I don’t know what to do! I hadn’t even thought of a plan after graduation and this happens!”

“Calm down, Yoona–”

“Please… I don’t know what to do…” she pleaded, and I was left unable to speak. I hung my head low, covering the mouthpiece with a hand and shook my head slowly before raising my eyes to meet my father’s.

“What do you want me to do?”

He smiled, turning back to his desk and taking something out of it. He brandished in his hand an airline ticket and my passport. I winced when he finally spoke, “I want you to finish your Law degree in Japan. You will not come home until I say so. Understood?”

“Will you leave her alone?”

My father shrugged. “I will as long as you stay obedient.”

I nodded, breathing deeply.

“Changmin?” Her whisper was so soft I almost missed it. I closed my eyes.

“I’ll leave.” I said finally.

“But she’ll look for you, won’t she?” my father said, his eyebrow rose. I shrugged.

“She won’t…”  _I’ll make sure of it,_ I thought. “So just leave her alone.”

He nodded and I brought my attention back to the phone; to her. I removed my hand and sighed deeply.

“Where are you?”

**/ / / / / / /**

“And that’s what happened.” Yoona cried, her eyes glittering from unshed tears.  I was only half-listening, on account that I already knew what she was going through, and remained silent for the most part.

After frantically running towards my car and driving all the way to her parents’ home from my father’s office, I couldn’t think of anything to do to help her. With how things have begun to unravel, I knew that disobeying my father now could only lead to even worse circumstances not only for Yoona, but for her family as well. And I couldn’t very well have that. Not even if it meant disregarding my heart…

So I grabbed her hand, pulled her into the car and drove once I saw her sitting meekly in front of her home. I let her speak – it was all I could do from pulling her into my arms and therefore making it difficult for me to do what I had to do.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” she asked, pulling me out of my reverie. “Changmin?”

I could feel the warmth from her hand reaching for me, but as my heart lurched and longed for her touch I pulled away, drawing in a deep breath as I stood up quickly.

“What do you want me to say?” I asked, in the coldest tone I could muster. It felt odd, leaving a metallic taste on my mouth – I’ve never spoken to her this way.

She was shocked at my reply. I could tell by the way her eyes widened and she pulled her hand back behind her ear. “Nothing. I just needed to tell somebody…”

I turned my back to her and desperately tried to still myself. “Then why didn’t you call Yeonhee or Kibum? I shouldn’t be the one hearing this.” I retorted, my hands turning into fists at my sides.

She stepped closer. And I almost wavered as I could smell her faint scent of strawberries and honey. “I wanted you to know…” she whispered.

My heart clenched around my chest again and I closed my eyes, stilling myself once again. I pulled back and spoke again in an even harsher, colder tone. “Whatever. What I don’t get is how your mother could stand how pitiful your father is being.”

Yoona stepped back, her mouth hanging open in shock and she nudged me hard. “How could you say that?” Her face was beginning to redden (I tried not to think of it as attractive) and the frown on her face grew. “My mother loves my father. She’ll stand by him no matter what happens.”

 _As I would for you_ , I said in my mind as I lowered my head. “Love, huh?”

“I’ll never fall in love.” The words felt heavy on my tongue as I looked at her.

Yoona blinked, her brows furrowing in concern. Her hand was upon her chest.

“Love messes you up.” I said, staring into her eyes – willing my words to sound as convincing as I could muster without faltering in her gaze, “It’ll take you up for a few moments and then pull you down. It’s not worth it.”

“But, Changmin… you can’t mean that. I’m sure it’ll be worth it when you meet the right person.” She replied, her tone sounding cheerfully fake; her breath coming in soft breaths… almost afraid.

“It doesn’t matter.”

_Don’t make this difficult, Yoona. I’m already dying as it is._

“She could be anywhere!”

I started to walk away from her, but she followed me. “And you know this because?”

“Because you’re the right person to me!”

I stopped dead in my tracks; the air leaving my lungs in an instant. I bit back a bitter laugh as I realized how ironic this situation was. How utterly  _Shakespearean_  the circumstance of this moment was. I bit my lip, willing myself not to turn around and kiss her and take her away from all of this: the pain, the sorrow, the uncertainty.

And I almost did. If not for the flash of light before my eyes and the partially hidden men in black suits I realized were watching over us, I would have given in. I shook my head slightly, pushing my hand into my right pocket – feeling the little box as I closed around it in my hand.

I pulled it out and looked at it briefly, before turning my head and looking back to her. Her hand was on her chest again, and she looked like she was holding her breath. My own heart was clenching and unclenching in my chest. I opened my mouth – dimly aware of the hidden eyes watching over me and my words:

“That right person you’re talking about…”  _I love you, and I’m sorry_. “–that person is  _not_  here.”

 

* * *

 

“I took a plane out of Korea right after that. They – the guys in suits escorted me, of course and I was gone. Just like that.”

Kibum sat seriously on his seat, letting my words sink in. “You left because you didn’t want Yoona and her family to get hurt?”

I nodded.

“Wow. That was very – Romeo of you. Except not really.”

“Yeah. Our families didn’t hate each other nor did we try to run away together, drink a poisoned drink or stab ourselves with a dagger.”

“Your sarcasm really lightens the mood, Changmin,” Kibum joked, smiling – then he turned serious again. “But you know, a month after that Yoona’s dad was offered job at Macshim Company. The company associated with your family’s business; the one that distributes locally in the provinces. Couldn’t you have come back then? Her family was doing fine even after everything.”

“Didn’t you hear what I said about my father’s conditions?”

“So? I heard that Macshim was a pretty much independent from your father’s business anyway! Plus, it was a lot more stable than Yoona’s father’s company if you ask me. It wouldn’t have crumbled easily if your father even dared.”

“Macshim, huh?” I said, more to myself than to Kibum. I felt a faint smile come across my face.

“Yeah-” he started then stopped when he looked at me closely. “Wait. Macshim… Mac Shim… Max?”

“You own Macshim Company!” Kibum exclaimed, “YOU GAVE YOONA’S FATHER A JOB!”

I shrugged. “Yes, but my mother manages it so the credit for the company’s stability is all hers.”

“That isn’t the point! You’ve been watching over Yoona all these years, haven’t you? Even when you were studying in Japan and dodging my calls?” Kibum said, shaking his head and looking at me with an expression of surprise and relief.

“She thought you didn’t care, but in reality you broke your heart to save her.” He grinned. “You have to tell Yoona this.”

I shook my head. “I’m getting married, Kibum.”

“So? You don’t love Yuri. You love Yoona.” He argued. “You’ve always loved her, and that’s why you’re wearing that ring you gave her on her birthday around your neck. Because you want her back, and you want to exchange that ring for something else.”

The look on his face was so pointed, it was almost comical. I sighed. “I’m getting married…” I repeated.

Kibum only smirked at me. With a hand on my shoulder, he spoke again:

“Not yet, and it’s not too late.”

 

* * *

 

A few hours later; after two years of hiding it away…

 I pulled out a little box and opened it again.


	21. ...where time seems to fade away

**YOONA - - -**

_“It’s four days in Jeju Island! Please come! I want to spend my last days as a singleton with all of my new friends!”_

It was a week and a half before her wedding, and Yuri thought it would be wonderful to get together one last time. I was expecting her to do this, at one point, perhaps, after the wedding (when everything was done and over with) but not before.

And honestly… the mere thought of spending time with her ( _with Changmin_ ) scared me.

_“We’ll have a whole room to ourselves of course. Just as girls. The boys can have another room so they won’t disturb us. Come on, unni! Please come?”_

But Yuri’s invitation was so cheerful and honest that it was difficult not to say yes. Plus she invited everyone: Kibum, Yeonhee, Sooyoung and me… even Donghae for a free trip to Jeju, all expenses paid! I just couldn’t say no.

Yeonhee’s face was flushed and anxious when I met her at my door this morning. It wasn’t the expression I was used to see. She had a hand on her chest when she greeted me a ‘good morning’, while Kibum came in giving me a hug and asking me where the kitchen was.

“Are you okay?” I asked, nudging her elbow, “Is something wrong?”

She shook her head, letting a short smile come to her lips. “I’m fine, Yoong. Just wondering if you’ll be fine with spending four days with Min.”

I shrugged, biting my lip. “I’ll have Donghae there, anyway. No worries.”

“Oh Yoona. I like Donghae and all, but you have to be honest with yourself. You’ve been hiding away from this topic for as long as I can remember, using Donghae as a cover up and I’m worried. You may think that I’m being unfair about this but… Changmin is—”

“Don’t, Yeonhee. Please, just don’t.”

“You have to listen to this sooner or later.”

I sighed, looking away. “Yes, but I don’t have to right now.”

“Fine… fine. But… I mean – oh never mind.” She sighed, picking up her things. “Kibum, shouldn’t we put Yoona’s things in the car now? We have to meet them in thirty minutes!”

I stared after her, gripping my bag in one hand.  _She knows something,_ I thought _, and she won’t tell me because it’s probably about_ him. I sighed.  _Oh well, it doesn’t matter. I’m with Donghae now, and he’s with Yuri. All is right in the world…_

 _Ugh._ I frowned, scolding my heart for lurching in that specific moment. Even though I was just thinking it, I tasted copper in my tongue.

“Hey, Yoong! Donghae’s here!” Kibum called. I snapped back to reality and immediately put a smile on my face. Donghae waved at me from the door, and I waved back, walking towards him.

“Ready?” He asked, bringing my luggage up to his face and grinning. I nodded then turned sullen once he took my hand. “Are  _you_  ready?” I asked, unconsciously gripping his hand. Donghae stopped for a moment and looked at me, weighing his answer.

“I am, Yoona.” He said; his tone low and even. Pulling my bags into his car, he closed the trunk and glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. “The question is, are you?”

The question hung in the air as we drove towards the airport.

 

* * *

 

**CHANGMIN - - -**

“You have to come, oppa. You just have to.” Yuri pleaded, pulling on my sleeve as I stayed rooted at my spot outside the airport terminal. She wasn’t pulling very hard, but her grip was so strong – it surprised me.

I sighed exasperatedly. “ _Why_  do I have to, Yuri? I’m marrying you even if I don’t come in this trip. Isn’t that enough?” I asked, then felt bad once the words came out of my mouth and she winced. Yuri stepped back, putting her hands down and sighed – I had obviously hurt her, and I felt sorry. Blowing out a breath from my lips, I nudged her softly.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude.” I said, scratching the back of my neck absentmindedly. “I just don’t think I should be here for this.”

“They’re your friends, Changmin.” Yuri pointed out, pouting, “and mine too. I really want to spend time with them and you at the same time.”

She sighed, pursing her lips. “I know why you don’t want to be here. And I know it’s not because of the crowd or the sun or any merriment that could happen – you’re worried about… well… do I even have to say?” She was looking at me so expectantly that I only grunted in response.

“I want to be able to experience spending time with my fiancé and my friends at least  _once_ before we’re married. Even if one of those friends  _is_  the love of  _your_  life.” She huffed, pulling her arm across her chest. I looked at her in surprise.

“Don’t do that.” I said softly.

“Sorry.” Her voice didn’t sound sorry at all. I rolled my eyes.

“I’m here aren’t I? Even if it is against my will.”

She sighed loudly. “You don’t get it, do you?”

I shook my head, staring down at her confused and bewildered with her sudden change in demeanor. “Obviously not, Yuri.”  _What was wrong with her?_

“Yo, Yul!”

Yuri was trying to stare me down when Sooyoung called her, waving from behind me. Immediately Yuri put a smile on her face and ran to greet them, while I stood back and watched. I waved at them as Yeonhee and Sooyoung gave Yuri a hug and Kibum came over to say hello. A moment later another car pulled up and Yoona came out, grinning widely.

Time froze for a moment, as a small smile crept around my lips, then Donghae emerged from the car, putting an arm around Yoona and… well, I remembered where I was.

“Yuri invited him.” Kibum said from beside me. “I thought maybe she told you.”

“She didn’t, but I was expecting him to be here anyway.” I replied, shrugging and adjusting the strap of my bag onto my shoulder. I watched as Yoona linked arms with Donghae, tilting her head back laughing at something Sooyoung said.

She probably felt me looking ( _more like staring_ ) at her, turned to where I was and nodded at me. I nodded back and sighed, clenching my fist.

“Are you ready?” he asked, looking at me under his sunglasses but I didn’t answer. Instead I turned around, pulling Yuri’s luggage in one hand and entered the terminal. I could hear Kibum sigh from behind, and spoke again:

“You have to find the courage, Shim. Sooner or later.”


	22. ...who can see the truth

**CHANGMIN - - -**

The wind was cool in Jeju island when we arrived by late afternoon. It was refreshing (calming), that I felt a little more at ease when I breathed the open air, than when I was stuck in the flight with Yoona at my left and Yuri at my right.  _Whoever it was in the airline that gave us those tickets must have been playing a dirty trick on us._ I thought, looking around on the balcony of Yuri’s family home in the island.

You could definitely count on the Kwon family in combining luxury and comfort all at once in their home. The house was tasteful, fully furnished and isolated from the other houses, and was closer to the beach than I had expected. It had three huge bedrooms: The girls (Yeonhee, Sooyoung, Yoona) were going to share one room, Kibum and Donghae another… and the master bedroom for me and Yuri. Of course I didn’t make the arrangements (I thought I was rooming with Kibum and Donghae, which I would have preferred) but Yuri did. And somehow I knew not to bother arguing with her about it.

“Stuck in your thoughts, Shim?” Sooyoung’s voice cut through the comfortable silence and I winced. She saw my expression and hit me lightly on the shoulder. I smiled slightly at her in greeting.

“You’re too noisy.” I said, leaning forward on the banister. She chuckled, “And you’re too serious. Lighten up.”

“Sharing a room huh?” Sooyoung said, a teasing glint in her tone. I rolled my eyes.

“It wasn’t my idea.”

I could see Sooyoung nod her head out of the corner of my eye. “Of course it isn’t. Just like this wedding isn’t your idea either.”

She sighed loudly. “Are you really just going to stay quiet this whole time? Forget anything happened?” I opted not to respond.

Sooyoung looked at me expectantly. “I know about what happened four years ago.” My ears perked but I made no movement to show my surprise. Sooyoung continued, “Yeonhee let it slip when I rode with her and Kibum earlier today and I was as shocked as she sounded when she was saying it.”

The waves crashed in front of us, just as the wind blew stronger. There wasn’t much left I could tell Sooyoung anyway, since she basically already knew everything now. I sighed.

“I havta say, Shim. I didn’t think you had it in you. I thought it was just Yoona the whole time… but, just wow.” She smiled. “Were you really going to propose?”

I didn’t reply, and instead breathed in a little more deeply. Sooyoung stepped closer, leaning against the wood of the railings and let out a short laugh. “I know I haven’t been the most supporting person when it came to you and Yoong but… as a friend–  _your friend_  I mean, I’m worried.”

“Wow. I’m touched.” I joked, earning a hard smack on the shoulder. Sooyoung wrinkled her nose at me (though the serious stare in her eyes told me she meant her words) and I smiled slightly.

“It’s hard being friends with Yoona and Yuri, seeing as Yuri’s getting married to you and we both how screwed up you and Yoona are right now. But it’s even harder being friends with you and those two.” She frowned. “Do you realize how difficult a situation like this is? It’s a warzone, Shim!”

“Sorry,” I mumbled, shrugging my shoulders. I continued to stare out into the water, absentmindedly reaching up around my neck to touch the ring dangling from my necklace. “Don’t worry about it so much though. Things will be fine.”

Sooyoung moved away from the railing and shook her head. “No, it’s not Shim. Seeing you hold on to  _that_ ”—she pointed at me, at the ring—“tells me everything you don’t have the courage to say.”

I pulled the necklace under my shirt. “Reflex, Choi. That was a reflex.” I said, but even I didn’t believe my own words. I looked back out to the water and sighed.

Meanwhile, Sooyoung – beside me – sniggered.

 

* * *

 

**YOONA - - -**

 “I’m so hungry!” Yuri exclaimed, jumping face down on the bed I had chosen to sleep on. I smiled, gently pushing her off a bit and joining her there.

“Should we eat out? I saw a cute restaurant on the other side of the beach. What do you think, Yeonhee?” I said, brushing the hair off of my face. Yeonhee shrugged, putting her things together, and said nothing. Her silence was beginning to worry me, and I decided to wait until after dinner to grab her and make her talk.

Yuri’s loud sigh brought me back to reality and I looked back at her. She was looking out the window thoughtfully. “How about we just cook dinner? The housekeeper stocked up some food before she left today, and I think it’d be best if we make use of them.”

“That’s a good idea too,” Yeonhee suddenly said, and Yuri clapped happily. I looked at both of them as they started to list down a possible dinner menu – and the feeling of loneliness started to creep into my heart.  _Why does it feel like Yuri’s taking something from me?_

 _She already took Changmin. Now she’s taking your friends too._ My conscience chided and I shook my head.

 _That’s stupid, Yoona. That’s not fair at all_ , I scolded myself for feeling insecure and smiled, more to myself, than to the two in front of me.  _She’s my friend too. And I had decided letting go was for the best… right?_

“Yoong? We’re going to kitchen now. Are you going to stay and stare out into space like that?” Yeonhee’s voice cut through my thinking and I grinned at her sheepishly.

“Sorry, I was totally spacing out.” I followed them out the door and down the stairs, into the kitchen. “So what are we cooking?”

“We decided on roast chicken, and maybe a salad. What else should we make?” Yuri replied, opening the refrigerator to check on the ingredients. She had her head poking the inside of the refrigerator for a moment before looking back at us with an embarrassed expression on her face. “Actually, I don’t know how to cook.”

I burst out laughing, with Yeonhee following me, and gave Yuri a short hug. “You’re so cute, Yuri. Come on. You can still help even if you don’t know how to.” Yeonhee said, patting her on the head.

I started to move around the kitchen – pulling out ingredients and instructing Yuri on how to cut and chop the vegetables while I demonstrated them for her. Yeonhee stood over next to me, grinning down at Yuri’s attentive face and laughing. “You’re really interested huh?”

Yuri grinned. “Yeah. I have to be, or else how the heck am I going to feed Changmin-oppa?”

“He hates eating out.” I said, not really thinking. Yeonhee nudged me with her elbow, and I stiffened when the thought of what had just come out of my mouth sunk in. Fortunately, Yuri didn’t notice.

“Yeah, he hates it. I don’t understand that about him. Eating out is fun!”

“It is, but it’s expensive,” Kibum cut in – entering the kitchen with Donghae in tow – “Whatcha cooking, Yoong?”

“Hmm. Samgyeopsal and sundubu jjigae, I guess. Apart from roast chicken and a salad.” I answered, focusing back to the vegetables I was cutting. Yeonhee decided to help out by cleaning out the chicken and teaching Yuri how.

“Are you a good cook?” Donghae asked, grinning from across the kitchen counter. I shrugged, wrinkling my nose cutely for him. “Maybe.”

I had just gotten the jigae going when Sooyoung came in (following her nose no doubt) with Changmin. I held my breath as he looked at me before turning away just as quickly as I lowered my eyes to focus on the food again.  _That’s great, Im. How are you ever going to really get over him if every move he makes you forget how to breathe?_

I mentally knocked myself, frustrated with the way my heart was beating frantically when Sooyoung bounded towards me, demanding a taste test. Meanwhile, I heard Yuri bounced towards Changmin.

“Oppa! I’ve been wondering, what’s your favorite dish?” she asked. Changmin made a small sound, like a grunt.

“He eats anything edible.” – “I eat anything edible.”

And suddenly the room fell quiet.

 

* * *

 

**CHANGMIN - - -**

“He eats anything edible.”

Hearing Yoona speak, much less say something  _about_  me, surprised me. Her voice filled my ears, and made my heart race. Around us the room fell silent as she chopped, sliced, stirred and cooked away – that I had to smile when she looked up surprised, blinking adorably.

“What are you guys looking at?”

Kibum grinned, leaning over the kitchen counter. “Gosh, when was the last time the two of you said the same thing at the same time?” He looked at both of us back and forth.

Yoona was confused for a moment, before realization came across her features and she blushed. She glanced at me tentatively and I tilted my head, a small smile still etched in my lips. “I guess we did say the same thing at the same time, huh?”

“Yeah.” I replied, looking at her.

Sooyoung and Yeonhee were laughing beside each other.

“I remember the first time they did that. Remember when we were talking about Kim Jonghyun’s pants and the two of them suddenly said, at the same time: ‘ _He looks like an idiot in those_ ’.” Sooyoung said, shaking her head, “We were laughing so hard because they didn’t even notice that they had said the same thing in perfect sync.”

“That was embarrassing.” Yoona commented.

“But those pants really did look ridiculous.” I interjected. She burst out laughing. “What? They did. They rode up in indecent places.”

“It was pink too.” She added, a small smile gracing her lips. “Those were fun days.”

I nodded, leaning back against the wall. “They were.”

Her eyes looked into mine (my heart was left drumming, humming) a little longer this time – and then she looked away.

I felt Yuri’s head rest on my arm—

 

* * *

 

 

“We have to talk, Yeonhee.”

“Okay.”

“What are you not telling me?”

“It’s not something I should tell you. Someone else has to do it.”

“Then who?”

“… Who do you think?”

_Changmin…_

 

* * *

 

“Hey!”

“Hey.”

“Don’t come near her.”

“What is this about, Donghae?”

“You know what I’m talking about. Stay away from her.”

“… I’ve been thinking about this a lot–”

“Just let her go, will you? She already has, she’s with me–”

“ _I'm not going to let her go that easily. I can’t.”_

_“You’re getting married.”_

_“I know… But Yoona has my heart.”_

She always will.


	23. ...where things fall to pieces

**YOONA - - -**

“It’s something about Changmin? Yah, Lee Yeonhee. Tell me.”

Yeonhee shook her head. “It’s not my place, Yoona. Even if I wanted to tell you – and I do, I really do – I’d feel guilty about betraying Changmin because he doesn’t even know that I know."

“We’ve known each other since middle school. Why can’t you tell me?” I pleaded, pulling her hands in mine and staring at my troubled friend. “Don’t I deserve to know, whatever it is your hiding from me?”

She frowned, shaking her head and squeezing my hands. “Of course you do, Yoona.  But it’s just like I said – I shouldn’t be the one telling you. It wouldn’t be right and quite frankly, I don’t know where I should stand with this.” She let out a sigh, lowering her head.

“That’s not fair.”

“It isn’t. Look, you are one of my best people I know, Yoona. And so is Changmin – but this… arrangement is just killing me, because I can’t choose sides and I want both of you to be happy.”

I stared at her, confused. “Choose sides?”

“You’re my friend, Yoong. And so is he. Regardless of how long I’ve known the two of you is irrelevant if you ask me. I care about both of you the same way.”

“I would never ask you to choose sides, Yeonhee.” I was beginning to feel betrayed. How could she think I would ask her to do such a thing?

Yeonhee nodded solemnly. “I know. But sometimes, your actions speak differently.” She stood up, setting my hands down to my lap and looked up at the stars outside our bedroom window. “I’m sure you don’t intend to, of course… and I don’t blame you.”

“Do I really do that?” I whispered, mostly to myself. “I hadn’t noticed. I’ve just been moving on, you know…”

“No one said loving a person was easy. It’s hard work to keep feeling the way you do every moment of every day. But it’s worth it – even when it hurts.”

I scoffed, managing a little (bitter) smile on my lips. “Kibum’s never hurt you though.”

She laughed, shaking her head and looking over her shoulder to stare at me. “Come on. We both know he’s not perfect. I know about that girl he dated aside from me after our 100th day together. I would have killed myself if I wasn’t so smart.”

“You knew about that?” I asked surprised. That was the only time I had ever been so angry at Kibum in the course of our friendship. I had caught him with another girl, while walking to class with Changmin, and had fought with him right after the girl fled the scene. If it hadn’t been for Changmin, being the voice of reason at the time (He had pulled Kibum away to talk before I could punch him), I would have killed Kibum myself for cheating on my childhood friend.

“Yeah. Kibum came clean the day you and Changmin assaulted him. He said something about what Changmin had told him and he realized his mistake. We’ve been even more honest and trusting with each other ever since.” Yeonhee answered softly, the smile on her face widening. “Changmin always has to have the last say in things, ne?”

“He always used to say that it was the lawyer in him to want to say the last word.” I muttered, pursing my lips. Mentally, I pictured him grinning down at me the way he did when he said those words. My heart gave a heavy thump inside my chest.

Yeonhee giggled, shaking her head at me before taking a seat next to me on my bed. She put her head on my shoulder, giving me a side hug. “Have you noticed how much you mention random anecdotes about Changmin when we talk? It happens a lot, and not just when you’re talking to me.”

“Do I really do that?” I asked, more to myself than to anyone, gazing out to the window – a soft sigh crossing my lips, “I don’t notice it. I mean, I know when we were in school I used to say things like this a lot, but now – I didn’t know I was doing it again.” Yeonhee nodded, squeezing my shoulder comfortingly.

“I don’t think you do it on purpose, Yoong. It’s probably just some left over impulses. We’ve been friends for so long and you don’t just forget things overnight,” she said pointedly. I shrugged. “I’m not supposed to do this when Donghae’s around though – much less when Yuri is around too. I feel like I’m hurting them both with sharing tidbits of my past with Changmin with them.”

“No way,” Sooyoung’s voice startled both of us when it boomed from across the room. I strained to look behind me and saw her leaning against the (now opened) door frame, smirking at us and holding up a peace sign in greeting. “What’s ‘no way’, Sooyoung?” I asked, raising an eyebrow at her as she flung herself towards my bed and crushing us under her weight. “Get off you monster!”

“Yah, I am not a monster!” she exclaimed, smacking me playfully with her right hand, before folding her arms around my neck and shaking me. “You – you need to make up your mind, kid!”

“Huh? What? Me?” I asked, in between gasps of air as I wrestled out of her grip. Fortunately Yeonhee was able to get out of the chaos before she could get sucked in. She laughed at us as we rolled over.

“Hey! Where’s HimYoona? I don’t remember fighting a weakling from University?” Sooyoung bellowed, teasing me. I rolled my eyes before pinning her with a leg over her stomach and forcing her to lay flat on the bed. She laughed, shaking her head and relaxing into my pillow. “Okay, I’ve found HimYoona.”

“What did you mean, Sooyoung?” I asked again, settling my head on her shoulder. Yeonhee went to sit on the edge of the bed. It felt just like old times – when the both of them would come to my small apartment after class to talk about whatever. The thought of it made my eyes turn a little misty but I smiled, snuggling closer to Sooyoung and reaching for Yeonhee to lie next to me.

“Hey, I’m talking to you, missy.”

Sooyoung giggled. “I know. I was just waiting for you to use that tone. It’s been a while.”

“Whatever, Sooyoung! Just tell me what you meant~” I whined, pouting as cutely as I could until she rolled her eyes and heaved a sigh. Sooyoung sat up, bringing her knees towards her face, shrugging as she did so.

“You’re not hurting Changmin by sharing the memories you both had all those years ago. If anything, I think you’re remembering those times made him feel a whole lot better today than he had been feeling these past weeks.” She pursed her lips, “As for Yuri – well… I don’t think she can help it if the two of you had memories together. Let’s face it – you’re the girl Changmin loves. How can she compete with that?”

I almost choked on my own saliva when she said that last part.  _Loves? As in present tense?_  
  


_"You can forget about it if you want."_

_"Will you?"_

_"No. I won't."_

_"Why?"_

_"Because I love you..."_   
  


_Did he mean that?_ I thought,  _at the time, I didn’t think that he did. I thought he was just saying it for effect._ I watched Sooyoung and Yeonhee carefully as they stared back at me. “He doesn’t love me like that, Sooyoung,” I said, shrugging. “That would be weird.”

She looked at me for a moment, before lowering her head and burst out laughing. A moment later, Yeonhee started to laugh as well. I watched them, confused. “What? What did I say?”

“Your face says everything, Yoong. You know don’t you? He’s told you, probably before you started to take Donghae seriously.”

 _Did it really show in my face?_ My eyes widened in surprise. “Huh? I-I’m not sure about what you’re saying. N-no, not really. What was it?” I replied lamely, looking away as quickly as possible.  _I’m not a good liar. I might as well say the truth._  I huffed. “Fine. So what if he told me? It’s not like he went out of his way to fight for me.”

“Believe me, Yoong. He’s been fighting for you since he came back.” Yeonhee said, pursing her lips, “Changmin just has a peculiar way of showing it. You shouldn’t have lost faith in him so quickly.”

“Are you picking sides now?” I asked, not really meaning it (only partly, maybe). A hurt expression fleeted across her face and I quickly felt sorry.

She shook her head, looking down at her hands. “It’s not about choosing sides, Yoona. I’m just trying to say, that you should probably know all the details before you lose all faith in him. He might be protecting something for you that you don’t know about.”

“I hate that the two of you know something I don’t.” I muttered, noting the Sooyoung’s knowing glance at Yeonhee. Then, my mind went to an image of Yuri telling me about her feelings for Changmin that day in the café. Her face was so sad and apologetic, she had wanted to “keep it a secret”, she said– “… but then again, I can’t blame anyone for keeping secrets if it helps someone.”

“Exactly. It doesn’t necessarily help, but it eases the pain – at least a little bit more.”

“So what you’re saying is... that Changmin’s protecting me from something. What is it?” I asked. Sooyoung smirked. She pulled a pillow into her arms and shrugged.

“Not ‘what’, Yoong.  _Who?_ ”

* * * * *

“Look at that wave! Oppa! Look, look!” Yuri exclaimed, pulling Changmin as she raced down the beach. The sun was setting, making her hair look shiny and sleek across her back. Her hand was pulling Changmin’s and he followed her with a small smile on his face. (That cut through my heart, I admit but I tried not to let it show on my face).

It was a new day and Yuri had suggested we all go down to the beach. It was sunny and breezy – a perfect day to swim with friends and loved ones. We had a barbeque out and some fun in the sun: Sooyoung caught up on her tanning, Yeonhee and Yuri swam around while Donghae and Kibum surfed. I stayed behind, watching everyone do their own activities. And so did Changmin… that is until Yuri pulled him out with her.

I eyed the couple ahead of us and sighed, wrapping my shirt around me tighter. Kibum ran up next to me, bumping his shoulder with mine and giving me a look.

“What?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Talk to him.”

I shook my head, and he groaned, frustrated at me, before pushing me hard by the shoulders. “Go up to him before I hurt you. He’s still the same guy, Yoong. Give him a chance.”

I bit my lip, considering his words and looked back to Changmin’s back. Yuri had let go of him to play in the shallow water and he was just standing there with his hands in his pockets. I sighed, looking down once again at the folds of my shirt – feeling the beat of my heart strum harder.

And then I lifted my head and walked forward…

 

* * *

 

**CHANGMIN - - -**

She was right behind me. I didn’t have to look to know it was  _her_. I just knew.

I closed my eyes for a moment, rubbing my forehead with my fingers before clasping them around the ring around my neck and hiding it by pulling it to my nape. Yoona didn’t need to see that I had kept it.

“Hey.” I said, as her steps came up next to me. “Hey yourself,” she replied, her arms folded across her chest.

I couldn’t help but study her for a moment. Her hair was up in a bun on top of her head, but there were some tendrils loose – flowing in the direction of the wind that blew past us silently.

“Donghae might not like you next to me, you know.” I said, kicking sand in front of me absentmindedly. She smirked, nodding her head.

“I agree. But – Kibum said that he’ll kill me if I don’t talk to you at least once during this trip.”

I smirked. “We talked yesterday. About Jonghyun and his hot pink pants.”

A laugh broke out of her ( _now that’s music_ ), and she visibly relaxed. Yoona punched me lightly on the shoulder. “They were awful, but Shim – you know what I mean."

“Calling me  _Shim_ now? Should I call you  _Im_ , in return?”

“Shut up.” She laughed again.

We stood silent for a moment, watching our friends playing. Yoona was laughing while watching Donghae pouring water on Sooyoung and getting chased afterwards. The twinkle in her eye struck a pang into my chest but I ignored it, looking elsewhere.  _This is useless_ , I thought, _a week before my wedding and I’m still a coward to face reality._

Yoona stepped forward, surprising me out of my thoughts. She headed closer to the water, dipping her toes into it before stepping down fully. “The water’s cool.” She said dreamily, more to herself than to me. Turning her head slightly she looked back at me, and smiled.

“Sometimes I wish things were different between us.”

“What?” I asked, surprised. Yoona shrugged. “I said ‘I wish things were different between us’.”

“Like, I wish I didn’t sit next to you during Philosophy class. And even if I did, I wish I had just thought you were boring instead of interesting. I wish you didn’t decide to be my friend, or vice versa.” She cleared her throat, swaying her feet to and fro in the water. “I wish things were different.”

My started walking towards her, and before I knew it I had my arms around her. “Changmin?! What – what are you doing?” She was shocked, stiffening almost instantly under my touch but I didn’t care. I only held her closer.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered into her hair, to her ear. “I’m a coward, I know. I’m sorry.”  _I love you.—_

 

* * *

 

**YOONA - - -**

—“I’m a coward, I know. I’m sorry.”

My heart thundered against my chest. His breath was warm against my ear, and I felt the tears welling up into my eyes. I bit my lip to stop them from falling, putting my hand over his to try and pull them off me. They wouldn’t move. The tears were on the edge now. “Let me go, Changmin.”

“I love you.”

I stood still, mentally slapping myself.  _Was that–? Did I hear right?_

“Chang—?” I stopped as he moved away, dropping his hands to sides. I reached out to him. “Wait—”

Donghae came out of no where. “I told you to stay away from her.” He punched Changmin squarely on the jaw, and I yelped in shock. He threw another punch; one after another – until Changmin finally retaliated but fell short (like he didn’t  _want_  to hurt him).  _Changmin… I’ve seen him fight, but not like this. He’s never fought so timidly._

He was on the ground again, with Donghae over him and I still couldn’t speak or move. “Donghae! Stop! Wait, stop!” Kibum shouted, desperately trying to pull Donghae off of Changmin. Yeonhee and the others saw what was happening and gasped in shock.

“Oppa!” Yuri screamed, running towards us but being held back by Sooyoung. “Oppa! Unnie, stop him! Stop him!”

I didn’t do anything but watch.

Watch as he got hit over and over again without even trying to protect himself. I caught his eye for only moment (before he turned away, bringing his arms over his face)—

It wasn’t until I saw a glint of silver around Changmin’s neck that I finally found my voice. And everything stopped.

“Donghae stop it. Please.” I said, burying my head into Donghae’s chest as I hugged him away from Changmin. Donghae snapped out of it, and groaned hugging me back, murmuring apologies into my hair.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Changmin get up – the flash of silver finally revealing itself around his neck.

The tears finally slipped through my eyes, and I looked away just as he pushed past Kibum and ran away.

_He kept it… My ring._


	24. ...when hearts are broken

**CHANGMIN - - -**

There was an incessant knocking on my door that woke me up from my already too light sleep. And because my arms were still sore, and my back hurt, I took my time to sit up on my couch. I never made it to my bed last night, after all the meetings my father forced on me after the trip in Jeju.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t  _almost_ thank my father for the work he gave me, since I had been dying to get away from Yoona and everyone else. Being holed up in a conference room and talking to clients for the past two days gave me a chance to relax and pull myself together again.

Leaning forward, I saw my reflection on my glass table. I didn’t look as bruised as I did the day after the trip, but you could still see them if you looked close enough. The ring hung low on my chest, glinting in the sunlight that peeked through the curtains – I reached up to touch it slightly and frowned; suddenly remembering how Yoona looked at me when I let her boyfriend beat the hell out of me. She looked so… disappointed.

I sighed.  _Coward_ , I scolded myself,  _you’re a loser. I’d look at you that way too if I were in her position_.

But the knocking hadn’t stopped yet.  _Maybe whoever it is knocking will leave if I ignore it long enough_ , the thought flashed through my mind, but I knew better. I groaned inwardly, burying my head under the arms, trying to shut out the noise.

“Well, considering my luck these days – it could be Yuri telling me to elope with her.” I muttered, glancing briefly at the door in disdain.

Rubbing my eyes in frustration, I stood up as slowly as I could towards the door. Sure enough it was Yuri at the door, her hands carrying food and smiling up to me. “Good morning! I have sustenance!”

“Why are you here so early, Yuri? You usually bother me  _after_  breakfast.” I said, keeping my tone as casual as I could. She could hear the sarcasm in my voice, I could tell by the way her eyes clouded over for a moment – but Yuri didn’t pay any attention to it. Instead she bounced inside the room, towards the table and bringing out the food.

“Come on, sit down and eat some breakfast.” She said, flipping her hair and smiling at me. With one hand, she pulled me into the living room and I began to feel uneasy. Yuri was being  _too_  cheerful; isn’t it that  _too much_  is a sign of something gone wrong. And by the way she held my arm, firm and strong – almost not letting go, only made me worry even more.

She started to talk about what she was going to do that day, making big, hand gestures and smiling widely. Something about it – her smile – put me off. I sighed, setting down my plate and staring at her, waiting for her to stop so I could speak.

But that didn’t seem to be happening anytime soon.

“Then I was thinking of going to the nail salon with Sooyoung or Yeonhee-unni. Should I get my nails done? Would it be okay before the wedding? I don’t know but anyway—”

“What are you doing here?” I interrupted, this time my tone serious. I sat down across from her, watching her movements. “Did you have something to tell me?”

Yuri stopped faking her smile and set aside her plate, before looking up to me with an expression I couldn’t pinpoint. “Well… I was thinking…” She fidgeted in her seat, biting her upper lip nervously.

Yuri stood up, stepping closer before kneeling in front of me. “What are you doing?” I asked, but she shook her head and shushed me. I held my breath at whatever she was about to say.

“Changmin-oppa... I think we should elope.”

 

* * *

 

**YOONA - - -**

“Three buffet tables are going to be at that side, alright? Put them at equal distances from each other so that they won’t crowd the flower arrangements. Go ask Jaejoong about how much—“

The waiter I was instructing looked at me, alarmed (maybe even a little bit worried), since I must have looked exhausted and disgruntled. I really was – Yuri and Changmin’s wedding was in three days… and I was working myself to the very edge of my sanity.

“You’re working too hard, kid.” Kibum said, nudging me with his shoulder. I tried to ignore him, scribbling furiously down on my note and finishing my instructions before quickly turning and walking away. He caught up with me and pulled me by the arm.

“Kim Kibum! Let go of my arm! What are you doing?!” I exclaimed, pulling free from his grasp. I rubbed my wrist, glaring at him, and in return, he glared back – shaking his head in disdain. I leaned back against a wall and sighed, rubbing my forehead with my fingers. “Just say it. Geez.”

“What the heck are  _you_  doing, Yoona? I thought you’ve ‘moved on’ already. What happened to you that seemed to have made you change your mind?” He said, wringing his hands out in front of me. He paced around, still shaking his head. “God, the drama between the two of you is infuriating.”

“Nothing’s changed, Kibum. I’m just doing my job.”

He scoffed. “Right. So I guess barking at every one of our workers with orders is part of your way of building a good working atmosphere, huh?”  Kibum sighed, moving closer to me. “Come on, Yoong. Just tell me already. I’m your friend too.”

He reached out to pat my head but I avoided it. The ill feelings surged, and I just couldn’t keep it in any longer–

–“Changmin kept the ring. Why the hell did he keep  _that_  ring?”

Kibum was silent as I stared at him. Not that I could blame him. I couldn’t blame anyone, not even Changmin. I sank down to the floor, heaving a heavy sigh – covering my eyes with my hands, keeping the tears in that was threatening to fall down.

“I was fine with all of this up until that night. I had already managed to keep everything that I feel for him locked away, and I was going to begin again with a new man in my life. But I’m right back to where I started after seeing one ring.”

“It’s not even the kind of expensive ring, you know. It’s just a simple silver band, hardly worth anything. But to me… to me, it means the world.” I whispered, my voice nearly choking at the end. I felt Kibum take a seat next to me, and his arm wrapping around my shoulders, taking me in a small hug. “I still… feel the same way, even after everything that’s happened. And I’m not supposed to anymore because…”

“Because?”

“Yuri loves him too.”—“What?” I waved him off, shaking my head. “That doesn’t matter, Kibum. The point is…” I trailed off.

“… I’m better off without him… right?” I looked at Kibum, willing him to give me an answer to my troubles but all he could muster as a reply was a resigned and defeated look on his face as well.

I sighed, shaking my head. “Yeah, I know. It’s screwed up.”

“It is screwed up.” Donghae’s voice said, and I looked up to see him standing over us with a tight smile on his face. Kibum and I stood up quickly, brushing ourselves off.  _Had he heard everything I had just said?_  I wondered, biting my lip.

I smiled politely at her. “Hi, Donghae.” I greeted, keeping my voice light. He managed a small smile back, but didn’t bother to look me in the eye. Nervousness began to creep in and I added, “What are you doing here? I thought you said you were going to pick me up later.”

“Yeah, but I need to talk to you now,” He said nonchalantly, before turning on his heel and walking towards the exit. I glanced at Kibum for a moment, confused at what I should do but he could only shrug in response.

“I think maybe you should talk to him.”

I nodded. Taking a deep breath and an anxious step forward, I followed Donghae...

 

* * *

 

**CHANGMIN - - -**

“I think we should elope.”

“WHAT?”

 I stood up so quickly, I felt the muscle on my sore back stretch. I winced, the pain shooting up my spine. Yuri tried to help me back to my seat but I didn’t let her touch me. She sat back on her seat on the floor and looked up at me helplessly.

“What are you talking about, Yuri? Are you kidding? Because it’s not funny.” I said, leaning back against a wall and groaning.

“I’m not making a joke, oppa. I’m serious. Let’s just go somewhere and elope. We’ll get out of here and away from everyone.” Yuri’s face was hopeful as she stood up and walked towards me. “We could start over with our lives without having to bother with people who don’t care…”

She stood in front of me now, her hands on her sides. “You don’t want to have your life dictated by your father, right? And… you don’t want to feel sad anymore.” Yuri lifted her hands and put them on my shoulders. They were warm. “I could make you happy.”

I bowed my head.  _Somehow, I knew where this was going._  Yuri’s voice spoke again. “Yoona’s already happy with Donghae.”

“Yuri.” I said, turning away. “We’ll be married in three days. Can’t you wait till then?”

“I can’t.” she said, her voice breaking. I sighed.

“Why not?”

“Because I like you, oppa –” She stopped short when I turned to look at her again. The tears that weren’t there in her eyes before, started to fall down.

Yuri continued in between tears, “And you love Yoona. But she  _doesn’t_ love  _you_  anymore! You won’t get her back. I give you my heart; all I ask is for you to give me yours. Please don’t say no…”

Silence filled the air for a few moments. I let her cry but I didn’t touch her. Instead, I thought about her proposal. The words she spoke were true – one way or another. I might never get Yoona back, but at the same time I couldn’t pretend that I didn’t want to  _try_.

“Oppa…” – “You’re my little sister. And didn’t you tell me once that you’d help me?”

Yuri looked flustered; surprised I had asked and began to babble incoherently. I sighed, calming her down with a pat on the head. “It’s alright.”

“Changmin… I…” she looked embarrassed, “I don’t want to be left alone.”

 _No one does_ , I thought, pulling her into a light hug. “Elopement is out of the question, because we’ll be married in three days. You won’t be alone.”

She shook her head, taking a step back. “But I like you, oppa. This complicates things… I can’t have my future husband not love me.”

“I’m sorry, Yuri.” I said, patting her head once again. “I can’t give you that. Not only because I can’t, but because I won’t.”

My fingers wrapped around the ring, and I held it up to show Yuri. She looked at it, her eyes sad… understanding.

“My heart is  _hers_. You know that more than anyone.”

 

* * *

 

**YOONA - - -**

“Donghae? What is this about?” I was tentative to ask, but we’ve been quiet for 15-minutes, sitting on a bench outside the reception hall for Yuri’s wedding that it was starting to make me nervous.

Donghae was wearing an oddly relaxed expression on his face – staring off into space, while I fidgeted anxiously beside him. I bit my lip, sighing heavily before nudging him with an elbow. “Hey? Is something wrong?”

He turned to me slowly. “I want to break up.” He said simply, that calm expression still on his face. I stared at him, shocked with my eyes widening – “What?”

“I want to break up.” Donghae repeated, this time seriously, “I don’t think I should be with someone who doesn’t love me the same way I do for her…” He shook his head, a forced smile lining his lips as he continued. “Admit it, Yoong – I never came close to what you felt for Changmin.”

I shook my head, grabbing his hand and squeezing it. “You’ve got it all wrong. I  _do_  love you, Donghae. I do.”

“But?” He supplied, removing his hand from my grasp before putting it back on top of mine. I studied his expression before lowering my head to study his hand on mine.  _He’s right_ , I scolded myself, feeling guilty.  _If I really loved him, I would stop him from doing this… but–_

“I’m sorry.” I said finally, my voice breaking as I did so. “I never meant to hurt you this way.”

“Don’t be sorry. Shh.” Donghae said, pulling me into a hug, “I’m still your friend, Yoona. And I’ll get over you and meet someone way hotter. Don’t be sorry. I’ll be okay, and you’ll be jealous.” He stuck his tongue out, teasing me and I laughed despite myself.

I smiled, wiping away a tear and smacking him lightly on the shoulder. “I hate how optimistic you are. But you’re right. I don’t deserve you, but someone so much better will come soon I’m sure.”

He smiled back, planting a soft kiss on the top my head. “He deserves you, you know. Changmin.” I stayed still. “He could have beaten me up if he wanted to in Jeju, but he didn’t because we were together and he respected that.”

“He loves you, obviously. The same way you still love him.”

The tears I didn’t know I was holding in finally came falling down. I sniffled, shaking slightly. “Oh Donghae…” I shook my head and he pulled me in a tighter hug, “I do love him. But…"

“He’s getting married in three days.”

Donghae sighed. “I know.” I let my tears soak his shirt as he patted my head.

“I know.”

 

* * *

 

/We… broke up. Donghae and I./

/Oh, Yoona… I’m sorry. Are you alright?/

/Yes. I’m fine. I was expecting it somehow. I just didn’t think it would happen so quickly./

/You know what they say, “Time flies when you’re having fun.” Except, breaking up is never fun./

/You’re right… anyway, why did you call, Yuri? Is anything wrong with the arrangements?/

/No, everything’s fine except for one thing… if it were gone, things will be perfect./

/Oh, really? What is it? Maybe I can still fix it. There’s still time./

/… You can fix it? Are you sure?/

/Of course. I’m your Maid of Honor. It’s my responsibility./

/…/

/Yuri? What is it? Tell me./

/I don’t want you there, Yoona.  _I don’t want you in my wedding_./


	25. ...when truths hurt and heal

**CHANGMIN - - -**

“You’re working too hard.” My mother walked into my office carefully, watching me from behind the desk. My father set up this office for me to work, as he wished I would work someday… and, well—I looked at her without saying a word and she shook her head at me. “Honestly, you’re starting to look like your father. Always with his head between mounds of paperwork. It’s not all that attractive.”

“Says the woman who married my father,” I replied dryly. I took another folder out of the pile on my desk and began sifting through it. She sighed, taking a seat in front of me. I waited for her to say something – anything – but she said nothing and just looked at me. I shook my head at her, putting down my pen. “Are you really going to stare at me the whole time I’m working here?”

“Only if you say so,” she replied, smiling. I couldn’t help but smile back. My mother is not the most openly affectionate mother in the world, but she’s had her moments – and I’ve always loved them regardless of how few they were.

I folded my arms in front of me on the desk and raised an eyebrow. “What is it that you want to tell me? I know there must be a reason why you’re here. Did something happen at home?”

“Nothing’s happened at home, dear. I only wanted to check on you to see how you’re doing. You’ve been working yourself ragged ever since you came back from that trip with your friends.” My mother looked at me expectantly. “Did something happen while you were there?”

I shook my head, turning back to my papers and scribbling. “No. Nothing happened.” I said, more to myself than to her. “Why do you ask?”

She shrugged, pulling out a paper from her purse and setting it down on my desk. “I gave this to Yuri yesterday and asked her to ask you to check the guest list if we left anybody out. She gave it back to me later in the afternoon,” she pointed down at the list.

I looked at where my mother pointed, my eyes widening when I saw Yoona’s name crossed off.

Noting my expression, she continued with a perplexed tone, “I was surprised to see that Miss Yoona’s name was off the list. I didn’t think you didn’t want her in the wedding, Changmin.”

“But I didn’t know you gave Yuri this list. She never told me about it.” I replied, staring down at the list again. “What time did you give this to her?”

“In the morning, just before she bounded into your apartment with bags of breakfast,” she replied, “Should I assume that you did not want to take Yoona off your wedding?”

“Of course not. I want her there.” I said. My expression softened as I traced her name with a finger. I sighed; the next words I muttered, tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them: “Next to me if that were possible.”

I glanced at my mother, half expecting a glare and a lecture but was relieved (albeit, a bit confused) to see her return my words with a small, understanding smile on her face. She put a hand on my own and squeezed it gently. “You’ve always known, haven’t you? About my feelings for Yoona.” I said, looking down at our hands. She chuckled, nodding her head slowly.

“Of course I have. What mother would I be if I didn’t notice my son falling in love. I may be cold, Changmin – but I was never heartless.” She replied, giving me a look.

“I’ve known since she came climbing through your window on your birthday all those years ago…” Mother replied, cracking a smile on her face. I felt the curves of my own lips rising as the memory flashed through my mind. She continued, “I’ve known since you asked me to consider letting her father work for your company under my supervision. And he’s actually doing very well, considering what a mess he made of his company before. He was even able to bring up such a bright woman.”

I shrugged, pulling my hands up into a prayer and let my forehead rest on them. “Then if you’ve always known, why can’t you stop Dad from controlling my life? He only listens to you; you could’ve stopped him and let me go free.”

“What good would that have done if everything was given to you on a silver platter?” she replied, shaking her head. “I know it’s cruel, Changmin but you were idealistic back then. Too  _young_  to make such a huge decision for your future. You weren’t ready.”

“If I had done something, you would not have learned how to truly love and sacrifice. You wouldn’t have grown up to be who you are now.”

I thought about this silently, weighing her words. There was some truth in them – I  _was_  young, and I  _was_  idealistic. I didn’t know where I was headed; I only knew who I wanted to be there to join me.

“I grew up, didn’t I? I’m able to run a business by myself now and handle a firm as an associate but for some reason, I’m still stuck following his orders like a dog. It’s infuriating.”

“It’s because you’re loyal. Believe it or not, you  _do_  look up to your father more than you would like to admit. And you’re a lot like him if you really think about it.” She replied, chuckling. “You’re both driven, determined to finish whatever you set out to accomplish. Although your goals and means are different – the two of you share a trait the women who love you admire most.”

“And what would that be?”

“Bravery. Valor. Guts.” She noted words off like a list. “Bordering martyrdom, if you will. Both of you are so willing to sacrifice anything for the people you love; even if it means putting your own feelings aside and crushing them,”

“Somehow I can’t picture him doing that last bit,” I said, furrowing my brow.

Mother laughed, shaking her head. “That’s where you’re wrong, Changmin. Your father loves you more than you think he does. He just doesn’t necessarily know how to show it. The same way you don’t know how to show your love for Yoona without beating around a bush.”

“I’m not  _that_  bad, am I?”

She shook her head again. “No.  _But_  if anything  _is_  infuriating, it’s the way you Shim men are unable to say ‘ _I love you_ ’ face to face.”

“Well, then she’s better off with someone who could.” I said, my jaw clenching.

“You don’t mean that.”

I scoffed. “Of course not.”

“Then you should tell her. Face to face, with no distractions or thoughts about the wedding.”

“Right – as if I’d be able to, with Dad’s men watching my every move and hers. There would be no chance for me to do that. I’m getting married… in  _two_  days.”

My mother stood up, putting a hand on my shoulder (squeezing softly) then flashed a mysterious smile. “You’d be surprised when an opportunity might present itself.”

She turned and left, walking out my door with a swish of her coat, leaving me questioning her last words.

 

* * *

 

**YOONA - - -**

“Mom? Dad? I’m home.” I called, setting down my things on the floor while I removed my shoes.

It had been a long day, settling everything with Kibum to take charge in Yuri and Changmin’s reception preparations. Kibum was more or less shocked when I told him I wouldn’t be in the wedding for an ‘urgent family matter I had to attend to’ but luckily he didn’t ask any more questions. And frankly, I didn’t want to answer anymore.

Receiving a call from Yuri to not attend her wedding the day before didn’t shock me as much as I expected it would. Somehow, I knew she would do it (take me off her list and put Sooyoung as her maid of honor in the last minute). She had told me she loved him after all. She loved him.

“Honey? Is that you?” My dad’s voice rang out, interrupting my trance and bringing me back to reality. I put on a smile on my face and bounded towards him, giving him a hug. “How are you? How’s work?”

I shrugged, pulling off my coat and sitting down on the couch next to him. “It’s fine. I thought I would take a few days off to visit you and mom. Where is she by the way?”

“She went out to buy some groceries for dinner. She should be back in a few minutes.” He said, brushing my hair away and giving me another hug. “I’ve missed you, my Yoona. I don’t think I’ll ever get over the fact that you live on your own now and not with me.”

“I’ll always be your little girl, Dad. And I’m just a city away,” I replied, wrinkling my nose. “How about you? How is your work doing for… what was it? Macshim? I heard from mom a few weeks back that they’ve promoted you to executive for your hard work. Congratulations!”

“Oh it’s nothing to celebrate, after all – it was your friend who offered me the job in the first place. All thanks go to him.” He replied, his last few words taking me off guard. I raised my eyebrow at him, eyeing my dad’s frame suspiciously.

“Which friend are you talking about? None of the people I know work in Macshim Corp.”

“Oh?” My dad blinked, his brow creasing. “But you introduced him to your mother and I when you were in still in University. He came by after the week I lost my company and offered me a position in the corporation just as it was getting more successful. His mother handles most of the affairs but he still manages a lot of the projects regardless.”

He shrugged, “I didn’t know he didn’t tell you about it. He’s been back for a few months now.”

 _Back for a few months…_ My head whirled in confusion as everything sunk into my consciousness. I pursed my lips, thinking of something to say when the door opened and my mother’s cheerful greeting rang out. I decided not to say anything and pulled on a smile for Mom – only to stop short when I realized she had someone carrying her grocery bags for her. “Oh – Changmin… hi…” I said, trailing off and staring at him.

Changmin stood motionless for a moment, gripping the bags in his hands but said nothing. He nodded in my direction, smiling sheepishly and setting the bags down on the floor. He walked over to shake my father’s hand – his arm grazing mine as he passed, sending shivers down my spine and leaving me unable to breathe. Then (slowly, so slowly) he turned to help Mom put the bags into the kitchen, without much looking at me.

“Changmin saw me walking down the street carrying these bags and offered to drive me back home. He practically insisted, actually.” My mother beamed, patting Changmin on the shoulder (he turned red, scratching the back of his head sheepishly.  _Almost… cute_ , my mind supplied). “I always to you I liked him didn’t I, Yoona?” She glanced at me with  _that_  look (the one she had when I introduced him (and Kibum) years ago. The look that said, “He’s the boy you like, eh?”). I shrugged in response, trying not to blush red myself.

Mom laughed, and I cringed.

“I was just telling Yoona about you, Changmin. About you giving me a job—” I whirled around and blinked up to my father shocked.

“What? That was Changmin?”

He raised an eyebrow at me. “Who else would it be? It’s quite obvious, actually. The name,  _Macshim_ , does contain his last name.”

 _Oh… right._ “Huh… I didn’t think about that.”  _I was trying not to._  “That’s awfully nice of him to do.”  _Was it because I told you about our troubles back then?_ I looked back at Changmin helping my mother pull out groceries. His expression was taut, nervous; he glanced my way – only for a moment – but said nothing. It seems like he didn’t want me to know about it.

I bit my lower lip, watching him from across the room and thinking about him, my father’s job and… just everything.  _You still looked out for me, even after all the horrible things you said back then, huh?_  I sighed, softly so no one would hear. My father’s hand was warm when he laid it on my shoulder and I looked at him, almost mystified by everything. “Why don’t you ask him to stay for dinner?” He said, nodding towards Changmin’s direction.

When I didn’t reply, he decided to ask him himself: “Why don’t you stay for dinner, eh Changmin?”

Changmin chuckled, looking at me but responded to my father’s question, “I don’t want to burden any of you, Mr. Im – I should get going anyway.” He bowed politely to my parents, and then with another quick glance at me – he stepped back and turned towards the door to put on his shoes.

I can’t exactly explain what happened next, but somehow I was able to grab hold of his arm before he stepped out of the door. He looked at my hand on his arm, surprised. I straightened my back and cleared my throat, fixing my blouse for a moment – not really knowing what to say. “Let me walk you to your car at least,” I said quickly. “I have some stuff I want to discuss with you about your reception.”

“Oh,” Changmin nodded and I looked back to my parents as he stepped out. They gave me a smile (something about their smiles made me nervous) and nodded. I took a deep breath and stepped out to follow him, grabbing my jacket and pulling it on almost clumsily.

“Where did you park your car?” I asked, trying to find the jacket’s arm and failing miserably. The air was cold, and my hands shook as I tried to pull on my apparel. Changmin stood a few steps away, watching me before laughing out loud and shaking his head. I glared at him ( _It’s not my fault this jacket won’t cooperate, damn it_ ). “Shut up, Changmin.”

He took a few steps towards me, holding out the jacket’s arm for me. He was too close for comfort but I didn’t say anything, ignoring the rush of heat towards my cheeks and slipped my arm inside the jacket. Changmin was quiet too, fixing the jacket’s collar around my neck and avoiding my eyes. “There you go,” he breathed (his breath was warm and smelt of mint) – smoothing out the cloth over my shoulders. “Better?”

I nodded lamely, stepping away from him.  _Getting married, too close_. “So where’s your car again?”

“A block and a half from here. It was the closest I could park, with all these cars around.” He said, motioning about the cars that were parked in front of our neighbors’ homes. “Are you sure you want to walk with me? You don’t have to.”

“No,” I shook my head, “It’s fine. I want to walk with you…” I said that last part softer, looking at another direction. I could feel his eyes on me, watching – waiting.

“… okay.” Changmin said finally, after a moment of silence. He let out a deep breath and we started walking, slowly. The tension was there in his voice, I could tell – and even more, the silence of the night made it even more unbearable.

“So…”

“Did something happen today?” Changmin said suddenly, his tone sounding heavy. We walked silently along a path, some leaves crushing under our heels. I trailed off, waiting for him to continue and dreading it. “My mother came by at the office today and said you were off the wedding entourage and that Yuri appointed Sooyoung as her Maid of Honor – Did something happen?”

 _It’s not something I can tell you._ “Nothing happened. I just didn’t feel comfortable being the Maid of Honor and caterer, you know. Too much work, stress~” I said, making hand movements to appear nonchalant – although I think the tightness in my voice gave me away. My hands shivered from the cold (the nervousness) and I pulled them into a fists. “I’ll still be there, don’t worry. I’ll just be behind the scenes.”

He stopped walking.

“Changmin?” I called, stopping just a step away. “I told you, it’s going to be fine–”

“But I don’t want you to be.”

 

* * *

 

**CHANGMIN - - -**

“But I don’t want you to be.” Yoona looked confused – maybe even a little nervous, with the way she held herself and pulled on her jacket. “I don’t want you to be ‘behind the scenes’ like you said.”

“Right,” she turned to face me, “but weren’t you behind the scenes when you offered my father a job in your company?”

Somehow I expected her to respond with that.

Yoona laughed airily, not really feeling it. “I didn’t even know you had a company. I don’t think even Kibum knew about it. You didn’t say anything to any of us… again.”

“I have a reason, Yoona.”

“Of course you have a reason. You always do. But how would I know–?” She stopped, looking uncomfortable with the words tumbling out of her mouth. She turned back, wiping at her cheek and started walking again. “Never mind. Come on, we’re almost there.”

I grabbed her hand and pulled her back before she could go any further. She tried to pull away, but my grip was strong, stable. She was tense, afraid almost;  _Don’t go._  Her hand was inside my own, and I sighed.  _This was probably the best time of any time I could get._

“My father didn’t approve.” I said slowly, weighing my words. Yoona visibly relaxed and she turned to face me.

“Didn’t approve of what?” she asked, looking up at my face before averting her eyes away. I closed my hands over hers and rubbed them to create warmth. They were cold.

“He caught me planning something for you that day that he didn’t quite like.” I whispered, looking down at our hands then to her eyes. I pulled one up and brushed hair off her face softly. “He even had me monitored by his guards when we met the day before I left.”

“There around here right now, actually. My father doesn’t trust me around you.”

“Why?” Her voice was trembling.

 _It’s not something I can tell you now._ “It won’t change anything I did if I told you now.”

She looked perplexed then let her hands go limp in mine before removing them. I fought back the urge of grabbing hold of them again. “Right. It won’t matter now anyway. You’re getting married in two days after all.” Yoona breathed, sighing.

We start walking again, the silence surrounding us becoming even more deafening in each step. I decided to speak:

“You know… just because I left without saying anything, it doesn’t mean I didn’t think or worry about you everyday. I loved you each day I was away in Japan, and still everyday I’m here.—” I cleared my throat, “You were never away from my mind; even though I’m sure you thought I never looked back. So I made arrangements in getting your father a job in the company; but I asked my mother to head it so you wouldn’t have to find out it was me.

But I guess that’s pretty stupid since my name is stamped all over the paperwork.”

Yoona nodded slowly, letting everything I said sink in. “Thank you. For watching over my family…”

“I didn’t do it just for your family—”

“I know.” She said, a small smile cracking into her lips, “That’s why—thank you.”

 

* * *

 

 

**YOONA - - -**

We stopped in front of his car and after a minute or two of silence – just as I was about to open my mouth to speak again – he opened the door and prepared to get in. My hand reached out before I could stop myself and he paused, looking back at me. My hand was trembling again, but I ignored it – brushing the hair on his forehead with my fingers.

“I said the last time that I wished I never sat next to you in class so I wouldn’t have met you... I didn’t mean it.” I whispered, staring up to him, “In fact, I wouldn’t change it in any other way.”

With his eyes fixed on mine, my breath began to shallow. For that moment where everything seemed to slow down to a halt, I pictured the times he and I spent together.  _Our classes, our laughter, our friendship – our first meeting, first fight, first kiss… our first—_

> _“You can forget about it if you want.”_
> 
> _“Will you?”_
> 
> _“No. I won’t.”_
> 
> _“Why?”_
> 
> _“Because I love you…”_

“I don’t regret everything that’s happened. I don’t regret…” I lifted myself up and let my lips rest on his lightly. Just for a moment as he responded and then (a flash of someone hooded behind him brought me back to reality)— “because I love you too.”

“Yoona—” His voice cracked with emotion.

I ran before he could say anymore to stop me.

 

* * *

 

/Shim Incorporation, President Shim’s office. How may I help you?/

/I would like to ask to see President Shim tomorrow, if possible. There is matter of importance we must discuss./

/Oh? Would tomorrow around 7 o’clock be appropriate for you?/

/Yes. 7 o’clock is fine./

/May I ask who would be meeting the President?/

/… Miss Im Yoona./


	26. ...when ‘everything will be alright’

**YOONA - - -**

The elevator opened with a ‘ping’ as I reached the top floor of Shim Incorporation’s Founder and CEO. I gripped my bag towards me, taking a deep breath as I stepped outside the elevator and into the hallway. A pretty lady dressed in stylish corporate black nodded towards me and I walked towards her. “I’m Im Yoona. I arranged for a meeting with President Shim this morning.” I said, (thankfully) my tone even and clear.

The lady nodded her head once and pressed a number on her phone.  “Yes, a Miss Im Yoona is here, sir.” She announced, taking a short look at me from head to toe. I felt uncomfortable under her gaze but shook it off as she nodded once again and put down the phone. “President Shim will see you in a moment. Please take a seat.”

I sat silently into one of the chairs in front of the lady, and looked around me tentatively. The room was clean and stark white: White tiles, white walls, white chairs. If not for the dark colored ceiling and table where the secretary sat, I would have thought that I was in a mental institution. Not another moment later, a door opened and a pair of men came out. One of them I instantly recognized as Yuri’s father since I had met him before at Yuri’s coming out party. The other man, however, was tall, robust and had a stern face – exactly how I pictured Changmin’s father to look like.

He looked at me as he shook hands with Mr. Kwon, and my hands immediately clenched on my knees. I dared to look back, even though my heart was already drumming in my ears.  _Calm down, Yoona._  I took a deep breath and stood up just as the men started moving towards the elevator.

“President Shim. Mr. Kwon. Good morning.” I greeted, bowing to them.

“Miss Im, it’s nice to see you again,” Mr. Kwon said, bowing as well. Changmin’s father said nothing but bowed as well. Mr. Kwon shook my hand firmly, smiling. “I’ve heard from my wife that the food your service is preparing is perfectly exquisite. I hope I’ll be able to get a sample tonight at the rehearsal dinner.”

I smiled back, bowing once again in thanks. “Thank you for your kind words, sir. I’m sure you’ll be able to eat some tonight.”

“Wonderful,” he nodded, then turned back to President Shim, “Well then, Mr. Shim… after tomorrow’s festivities we’ll finish the merger and join our businesses together. I’ll see you tonight at the dinner.”

“Yes. See you tonight,” Changmin’s father replied, his eyes wandering towards my tense figure for a moment as Mr. Kwon entered the elevator. Once the doors closed, he turned back to me. My hands felt clammy instantly but I held my ground and looked back at him.

He watched me silently for a moment, before turning to his secretary. He motioned at her and she nodded, standing up to walk past us towards another room. He started to walk back towards his office, then stopped halfway to look back at me again. “Miss Im Yoona?”

“Y-yes.” I said, my throat tightening for a split second. He smirked slightly, and nodded his head.

“Come in. We should talk.” With a slight tilt of his head, he motioned towards the office and I followed him. Inside, the room was of a darker color – plain walls, sturdy furniture, a bountiful bookcase and no pictures. Changmin’s father walked towards his window, his hands on his back as he surveyed the view. I stood anxiously a few feet from his desk, waiting for him to speak again.

“So you are Im Yoona.” He started, not turning to look at me (thankfully). “The girl who almost derailed my otherwise perfect son from his future in this company back in University.” He scoffed, shaking his head – taking a few steps back towards his desk to sit on his chair. I held my breath as he finally looked at me again with his dark eyes.

“I am Im Yoona, sir.” I said slowly, straightening my back. I ignored his comment about Changmin’s almost ‘derailment’ and instead continued, “I was your son’s classmates in University, yes.”

“Hmm,” he murmured, motioning for me to sit down. I did on one of the dark chairs in front of his desk, and tuck my legs under the chair.  “And what do I owe the pleasure of your asking for my time?”

I breathed deeply. “I wanted to correct any misunderstandings you might have considered of me and Changmin.”

“And what misunderstandings would those be?” He asked, smirking from the side of his mouth. I could myself shrink into my seat as he continued. “You… are simply an acquaintance as far as I’m concerned. As long as Changmin is marrying to someone of his rank, I won’t concern myself of you or anyone else.”

His words stung but I was determined not to let the distress show on my face. I folded my hands on my lap and raised my eyes towards him.

 “I’m sorry, sir but Changmin is very special to me. I would never want to see him jeopardize his future or happiness. And I would never get in the way if I thought things are as they should be…” I bit my lip, steeling myself to be strong. “But your son is miserable, and he’s—he’s my friend."

“Friend? Really? You think of him as a friend?” He laughed a dark kind of laugh. It sent cold shivers down my arms at the sound. “Who do you think you’re talking to, Miss? I am not a simpleton,” He barked, standing up and towering over me. I gripped my hands on my knees and said nothing. Meanwhile, he raged on.

“I know who you were to him back then and I know who you are to him now. He almost ruined his life four years ago by buying a ring and planning to propose to you—you of all people! A girl from a nobody’s family.”

 _Propose?_ My breath caught in my throat as the pieces fell together.

> _“He caught me planning something for you that day that he didn’t quite like.”_
> 
> _-_
> 
> _“I loved you each day I was away– You were never away from my mind.”_

I blinked back tears that were starting to form.  _He was going to propose._ Closing my eyes for a moment, I let Changmin’s father’s biting words pass me while I thought of everything that had happened these past years. I thought of Changmin and his words the night before, my heart swelling in joy and sadness. I put my hand on my heart and let out a breath.

“He would have regretted every moment in the future if I hadn’t intervened.” He slammed his hand on his desk, causing me to jump slightly at the sound. “I know my son. How dare you try to lecture me about my son’s happiness!”

“I love him!” I yelled, standing abruptly to face him in the eye. He took a step back in surprise. “I love him very much, sir. I loved him then, and now. I’ll probably love him forever, to be honest – but I didn’t come here to ruin any of your plans for him or your company.”

Breathing deeply, I calmed myself. “I came here to tell you that you don’t have to keep an eye on him any longer because he’s getting married tomorrow and I won’t be there to destroy it for you. You don’t have to send those men around him all time to keep him from me, because I—I’ll stay away.”

He regarded me behind those cold eyes of his and said nothing, sinking back into his seat slowly. I let out the breath I was holding and bowed. “I’m sorry if this meeting has been a waste of time. But now that I’ve said what I needed to say, I’ll leave now.”

Without another word, I turned on my heel and started walking towards the door. Just as my hand reached for the door knob; President Shim – Changmin’s father – spoke again, “You would stay away for him? Do you truly love him this much that you’d risk hurting yourself to see him marry someone else?”

I looked back at him and nodded. He sighed, rubbing a hand on his temple. “Why?”

“Because.” I sighed, my shoulders slumping slightly as I opened the door a crack. I choked back a sob as I swallowed my pain.

“I love your son….” I put my hand over my heart. “And his happiness matters more to me than my own.”

 

* * *

 

**CHANGMIN - - -**

I tapped my foot impatiently, checking time on my watch and cursing Kibum silently for being late. I was standing (and looking ridiculous in a white tuxedo) inside the dressing room of the place where I had my groom’s attired fitted for the wedding. Kibum was my best man and naturally had to fit his suit as well before the wedding; however he was nowhere to be seen.

I tried calling him for the nth time and received another busy tone. I groaned, rubbing my temple with my fingers. “I’m going to kill him when he shows up.” I said, shaking my head as the tailor re-appeared to adjust a sleeve.

“Hey, Changmin.” Donghae greeted, waving slightly as he sauntered into the room. He put down his bag and nodded towards the tailor. He took Kibum’s clothes from the rack and headed towards a fitting room.

“Kibum couldn’t make his fitting today, but since we were the same size – he figured I would take his place in the mean time.” He explained once he got out of the room and faced the mirror.

I stared at him in surprise, blinking for a while before snapping out of it. He smirked in my direction as he fitted Kibum’s jacket and turned sideways. “Wow, I look so much better in a suit.” Donghae said, grinning and winking at himself in the mirror.

“Good for you,” I replied, sarcastically and he laughed.

“How are things with Yoona?” He asked suddenly, adjusting the lapels of the suit’s jacket. “We broke up a few days ago, you know. I thought you’d have known by now and went after her.”

I shook my head, staring at myself intently on the mirror. “I didn’t know you two broke up, and I wouldn’t have done anything if I did.”

Donghae raised an eyebrow at me. “Dude, what is wrong with you?” he said, shaking his head. “You’ve been in love with her since practically forever. I’m not stupid to not see that plain fact. Exactly how many times do you have to hear people tell you to go for it?”

This time it was my turn to laugh out loud. “Probably a million more times,” I said jokingly, “or if my father ever tells me the same thing.”

“Man, you’re just the perfect son aren’t ya?” He said, sighing exasperatedly. I shrugged.

“I love my father.” My tone was hinted with resentment but it was true. I let out a breath. “It sucks, I’m telling you. But I understand my responsibilities to my family and—Yoona deserves better anyway.”

“No,” Donghae said softly. I looked at him curiously. “She deserves  _you_. It’s always going to be you.”

I decided not to reply and for the rest of our time at the tailor’s, we didn’t say a word. It was already past lunch when we left, and I had only a few hours to get back to some paperwork I had left for the firm before getting ready for the rehearsal dinner. Donghae walked silently beside me as I approached my car, before suddenly speaking just as I opened the door.

“Promise me something, Changmin,” He said, pulling on the strap of his bag. His tone and expression was serious and I stood, waiting for him to continue. “Promise me that if your wedding doesn’t go through tomorrow – you’ll run after Yoona and marry her – like you planned to from way before.”

“I’m definitely going to kill Kibum when I see him.” I said under my breath, rolling my eyes. Donghae shrugged, smiling slightly before becoming solemn again.

“I’m serious, Changmin. Promise me you’ll finally take your shot.”

I considered his words, and thought of Yoona ( _“I don’t regret everything that’s happened. I don’t regret… because I love you too.”_ ) – of her smile, her laugh, her tears. I nodded, smiling. “I promise.” I said, “But promise me this – if the wedding does come through, you have to take care of her for me.”

I held out my hand to shake his. He stared at me for a moment before shaking my hand. “A pact between men,” he said and I laughed.

Donghae is a good guy, after all.

 

* * *

 

**YOONA - - -**

“Yoona!”

It was late in the afternoon, and the air was cold. I was just about to enter my apartment when a voice called for me and I froze when I instantly recognized whose it was. I turned slowly to face Yuri, who was panting and whose hair was in disarray from running. She stopped a feet or two away, a hand on her hip and the other fanning herself. “It’s good that you’re here. I’ve been looking all over for you.”

“Why?” I asked, wrinkling my brow in confusion. I took note of her attire and considered it to be indoor clothes and not fit for the weather at the moment. “Shouldn’t you be getting ready for your rehearsal? It’s already five in the afternoon.”

She shook her head and wrapped her arms around me. I stood, shock still, at the sudden movement and remained silent. I was frozen to my spot when her arms loosened and she stepped away, grinning from ear to ear.

“I’m so proud of you.” She said, wrapping her hands around mine. Yuri had tears in her eyes, and it made me wonder what exactly she was talking about.

“What? Yuri, are you alright? You should get going. You have a rehearsal.” I said, shaking my head and removing my hand from hers. I ran a hand through my hair and pulled my jacket a little closer to my body. “You’ll catch a cold if you stay outside for too long in this weather.”

“I’m going to the rehearsal, yes. Oh but—” Yuri said, not really minding the iciness of the air and hugged me once more. “Everything will be alright.”

“Yuri… what are you talking about?” I asked, relaxing into her hug without meaning to. She pulled away and shook her head, winking.

“You’ll see.” As quickly as she had come, Yuri turned and bounded away – laughing, skipping then shouting to repeat her words: “Everything will be alright.”

I couldn’t help but smile back, just a little bit.

 

* * *

 

**CHANGMIN - - -**

“Then after you exchange rings, I’ll say a few more words then announce your union.” The priest drawled, motioning to Yuri and me standing beneath his feet. I fought to stay awake throughout the rehearsal, while Yuri seemed to have her head in the clouds.

“And then we end the ceremony with a kiss, and voila! You are pronounced man and wife.” He said in a flourish, coaxing Yuri and I to come closer together. I rolled my eyes, rooted to my spot and (thankfully) to my surprise, Yuri stayed on hers.

“Thank you, Father.” She said, happily – clasping her hands together and grinning from ear to ear. Yuri winked at me before turning to face Sooyoung who was laughing at her upbeat mood.

The rehearsal ended with that and as our parents talked to the priest, I sat down at one of the pews and sighed deeply. Kibum sat next to me a moment later, clapping my shoulder in greeting. He arrived late for the rehearsal and so I couldn’t kill him for telling Donghae about  _the almost proposal._ I was prepared to wipe that smug grin off of his face when he suddenly pulled me into a hug.

“What the hell.” I exclaimed, pulling away abruptly. I bowed three times to the cross and then turned back to a laughing Kim Kibum.

“Don’t mind us, everybody!” He called, waving off the curious stares we received from my parents and Yuri’s, the priest and from the girls (Yuri, Sooyoung and Yeonhee were huddled at a corner, shaking their heads at us). Kibum ruffled my hair excitedly and continued grinning like a crazy person.

“Don’t look so distressed, Shim. Lighten up!” He said, leaning back against the pew.

I rolled my eyes at him. “I’m getting married to someone I don’t love. I think I’m allowed to be a little bit distressed.”

“Everything will be alright, Shim.” Kibum reassured me, giving me a side hug and winking. I only rolled my eyes at him again.

“Really?” I deadpanned.

Kibum nodded. “Really.” He stretched his limbs (arms and legs) and sighed contentedly. I couldn’t help but smile back a little bit.

“Everything will be alright.”


	27. ...when it’s the perfect day

**6:20PM;** Han River Park. **YOONA.**

I stepped out quietly onto the soft patch of grass under the tree at the park where Changmin and I last talked before he left for Japan. I traced the bark of the tree with my fingertips and watched the sky as it glowed in swirls of pink, red and orange.

“It said to wait,” I murmured, holding my hand up to the sky. And so, I will wait.

 

* * *

 

 **9:25AM;** Shim Incorporation, President Shim’s Office. **CHANGMIN.**

The moment I woke up, I knew this day would be different. Bad or good, I couldn’t be sure which way it would be. I could only hope it would go well – it being my wedding day and all. I hoped for a thunderstorm or an earthquake. Any natural disaster, really (I’m not picky) – I just wanted something to happen to stop this day from happening.

But the skies were blue and the sun was out. Luck wasn’t on my side again. And it only got worse when I realized that the engagement ring I got for Yoona was not in its box.

“Here are the plans for the Myeong-do project. I figured you’d want to check it first before I let Lee Hyunbin go present it to the meeting next week.” I said, dropping folders of paperwork on my father’s desk. It was too early for work on a Saturday morning, but after a fruitless run in trying to find Yoona’s ring – there wasn’t much I could do to make myself feel any better.

Naturally, my father said nothing when I left the folders on his desk. I waited for a moment, wanting to say something to him but couldn’t figure out what to say. I sighed, shaking my head slowly. There couldn’t be anything I can say to change his mind about the wedding… especially now that it’s today. “I’ll see you at the Church.” I murmured and turned to leave when all of a sudden my father spoke:

“I was against an arranged marriage too, you know.”

“What?” I said, turning back to face him taking off his glasses. My father smiled ruefully, motioning for me to take a seat in front of him. I obliged and sat down, still staring at him in confusion.

He disregarded my puzzled expression and went on to tell his story: “I was your age when my father told me I was going to marry the daughter of a man who owns the best export business in Busan. Your grandfather was a ruthless man and would stop at nothing to make the family business international. Back then Shim Incorporation was simply called Shim Imports, and marrying his son to the daughter of a great export enterprise would be beneficial to the company’s future…”

My father sighed, slightly smiling and shaking his head at the memory. “I was outraged. I didn’t want to marry a woman I’ve never met or loved. I didn’t it was right.”

I let out a bitter laugh without meaning to. “Sounds disturbingly like my own predicament, don’t you think?”

My father’s brows creased as he stood up and walked away from his desk. “I’m not finished.” He said, frowning by the window. I nodded at his reflection and he continued:

“I decided to run for it, and on the night before my wedding I almost did. I planned to take a bus after bus until I was far away from Seoul. I waited there—” he pointed towards outside the window “—at that very bus stop in front of this building. It was late and hardly anyone was around except for me and this young woman and her bag.

This woman was beautiful and feisty. She had long hair and the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen. We were sitting at opposite ends of the bench but for some we kept meeting each others gazes.” Suddenly, he let out a short laugh, “you could say I was staring at her, but who wouldn’t be? She was a goddess in my eyes. And she was running away too, at least that was she said when we got to talking. She didn’t want to be married to a man she never met. It was surreal to have met someone who had the same intentions as me. I fell in love right then.”

I sat uncomfortably in my seat, confused as to why he was telling me all of this. So he had loved someone else before marrying my mother? How could it be that somehow his story almost mimics mine? If this was some cruel joke from above, it wasn’t funny. It was my turn to frown. “Why are you telling me this?”

My father ignored my question and continued speaking: “Then she said that she loved her parents and didn’t want to leave them behind—and I agreed with her. It was peculiar, how adamant we were to escape our fates but when that bus rolled in, neither of us could pluck up the courage to leave. We went back home, and the next day I was to be married.

But I couldn’t stop thinking about that woman all night. She never left my mind, not for even a second. I swear to you that when those Church doors opened to reveal my bride – I was all but ready to run and find that woman from the bus stop and marry her instead.”

“Does Mom know?” I asked, looking at his eyes through his reflection.

He nodded, “Yes, she did. After all, she was at that bus stop too.”

“She was the woman you met at the bus stop?” I repeated, almost dazed at the fairy-tale like end of his story. “Wow. Mom never told us this version of how you met.”

“That’s because you and your sisters were far too young to know about real love back then.” He said, slipping back into his seat. He placed his hands on the table and looked at me straight in the eyes. “I got lucky.”

 _Luck – I had none of that today_ , I thought to myself.

“I don’t have that kind of luck.” I scoffed, running a hand through my hair. I stood up slowly and waited for him to reply. “Was there a point in telling me this story? Because it’s only made me feel worse about my situation.”

“If I hadn’t met your mother that night at the bus stop, I would have left and…” he trailed off, taking a deep breath as if his next words were too difficult to fathom, “I would have never had a son like you.”

I stared at him, not knowing what to say.

“I’m sorry about everything. About blackmailing you to leave and hurt the one you love. I only wanted the best for you but I guess I turned to be a little bit like my father. Ambitious; I didn’t want to admit at the time that you were extremely capable enough to make your own decisions. And if I could take back this past few years—” He stopped talking and then sighed; taking the folders I had put on his desk in his hand and opening them. “You should go back and get ready for the day.”

I nodded, stepping back once before turning slowly to open the door. “I love you too, Dad.” I said, looking back at him with a smile. He stared at me in surprise just as I closed the door.

 

* * *

 

**2:04PM;** Church’s Wedding Hall. **YOONA.**

“Has any of you seen Kibum?” I asked, pushing through the people arranging the wedding hall’s decorations. I hadn’t meant to show myself to any of them (Kibum, Yeonhee, Sooyoung, Donghae, Yuri… and Changmin) today but when I found a list of waiters’ names that Kibum had left the night he and I exchanged notes this morning, I couldn’t very well leave the reception in shambles if things went wrong.

“Kibum! Finally found you!” I raced towards the end of the hall where he was standing with Sooyoung. They greeted me with a smile.

“Hi, Yoong. I didn’t think you’d show your face here.” Sooyoung said, raising an eyebrow at me. I glared at her and said nothing to her statement. I turned to Kibum and handed him the list.

“You forgot this at my place. Make sure to check all the waiters’ present during the reception so we know who to pay when the event’s done.” I said, pointing at the list with a finger.

Kibum rolled his eyes at me and patted my head. “I know all the procedures, Yoona. You don’t have to remind me.”

“Yeah well…” I trailed off, looking around the hall. It was beautifully lit and well decorated, with flowers everywhere. I sighed, biting my lip as I envisioned the couple walk arm in arm into the room and held back tears that were beginning to form. “I should go. Wish the happy couple ‘Congratulations’ for me.”

“Wait, Yoong! I have something for you.” Kibum said, running after me with an envelope in his hand. I looked at it curiously and raised an eyebrow at him. “Don’t ask questions. But don’t open it yet, not now. The time’s on the envelope”

“What?” I asked as he turned to go back into the hall. I turned the envelope and on it scribbled:  _5:30PM_.

 

* * *

 

**04:00PM;** the Church’s Wedding Hall, inside one of the dressing rooms.  **CHANGMIN** .

“You look like death, man.” Donghae said, watching me from his seat as I fix my necktie. I groaned, throwing the tie onto the floor and sat with my head in my hands. He chuckled, patting my back. “Relax, a bit.”

“Donghae’s right, Changmin. You have to relax.” Kibum echoed, holding up two glasses of gin in his hands and offering one to me. I rolled my eyes at him as took the glass and drank it in one shot. He rolled his eyes right back and leaned against the couch. “You, my friend, need to chill out.”

“You can say that because you’re not in my shoes.” I retorted, glaring at both of them. They shrugged and said nothing in response. I sighed, slumping on the couch and closed my eyes. “Both you have to watch out for her, alright? Once I’m married… I can’t do  _that_  anymore.”

Kibum smirked. “We won’t have to watch out for her.”

“What?” I tilted my head to look at him. He laughed, taking another sip from his glass.

“Have faith, Shim. Have a little faith.”

 

 

* * *

 

**5:30PM;** Yoona’s apartment. **YOONA.**

I woke up to the sound of knocking on my door. Blinking slowly, I stood up aimlessly from the couch towards the door and my eyes widened when I saw who it was.

“Hey, Yoona.” Yeonhee said, pushing past me in her bride’s maid dress and entered my apartment. I gaped at her in surprise, glancing at the clock to check on the time before looking back at her.

“Yeonhee—it’s already half past five! You’re one of Yuri’s bride’s maids!” I exclaimed, facing her. She shrugged, smiling as she sat down on one of my chairs. I took a seat in front of her, rubbing my hand over my nape. “What are you doing here?”

“You don’t have to worry about the wedding, but you should be opening that envelope.” She said, pointing at the envelope Kibum gave me earlier.

I looked at it for a moment, weighing it in my hands before slowly picking the envelope apart. A note was inside and as I pulled it out, a string attached to the card held a beautiful diamond ring dangling from it. I stared wide-eyed for a moment, holding the ring in my hand before flipping the card over and read the inscription:

_‘I promised, didn’t I? Wait till the sun sets.’_

“She kept her promise, Yoong.” Yeonhee said, surprising me out of my thoughts. “Thank goodness you had the courage to tell the world you loved him too.”

I looked up at her, confused—then, as my eyes widened, I understood. The tears fell before I could stop them and Yeonhee, my friend, laughed and hugged me as I began to cry.

 

* * *

 

**5:30PM;**  the Church's Wedding Hall.  **CHANGMIN.**

The wedding march began the moment I stepped up onto the platform. I watched my parents and my friends walk up the aisle, moving to their positions for the ceremony. I sighed, breathing in deeply as the Bride’s march began to play. Briefly, I closed my eyes and envisioned Yoona in Yuri’s place. For a moment I felt comforted… and then I opened them again—

Yuri was walking up the aisle—beautiful and sunny as always—but in jeans.

“Hiya, oppa!” She greeted, waving at me as she walked to the platform and up to the altar. “You can step down now, Father. Thanks for appearing today!” Yuri shook hands with the priest and bowed to him gracefully. The priest laughed, nodding as he stepped off the altar and disappeared into the back of the church. I could only watch with wide eyes at what was unfolding in front of me.

“To everyone here, thank you for acting so well! You can all head to the reception to celebrate the successful merging of Shim Incorporation and Kwon Enterprises.” She waved as the people in the hall started to file out of the door. Eventually, all that was left in the hall were our parents and our friends. Sooyoung, Donghae and Kibum huddled in front me and smiled, knowingly…

“What are you doing, Yuri?” I asked, looking at her from my spot. She raised her eyebrow at me, shaking her head with a cheeky grin on her face.

With that smile still plastered on her lips, she winked at me and laughed. “I’m keeping my promise, oppa.”

 

* * *

 

 **6:00PM;** Han River Park.  **YOONA.**

“She planned all of this…?” I muttered as Yeonhee and I took a walk down Han River Park.

She held my hand as I processed everything she told me. About how Yuri had plotted everything that’s happened in the past month: asking me to cater, confessing her love for Changmin, the trip to Jeju and then telling to leave her wedding… all of it she had planned exactly up to this day. I breathed in deeply, gripping the ring in my hand as we walked.  _How was it possible that she could have known how everything would go?_

“Believe me, Yoona. I wasn’t sure about it either when she told me after Jeju… I had already written her off as a traitor somewhat but—she had good intentions. She valued your friendship.” Yeonhee said, as she patted my arm. “She told us she didn’t know if it would work… but because of you, because of what you did… Yuri was able to keep her promise.”

“What I did?” I asked, confused. She nodded happily. “What did I do?”

Yeonhee laughed, stopping suddenly to envelope me into a hug. “You stood up to his father and fought for him—that’s what you did! Oh we’re so proud of you!”

I pulled back slightly, dazed and confused. “How did you know about that?”

“Changmin’s father told Yuri all about it.”

 

* * *

 

 **6:00PM;** the Church’s Wedding Hall. **CHANGMIN.**

“I’m not marrying you, Shim Changmin. You’re home free.” Yuri declared, smirking.

I blinked, confused. “What?”

“Ugh, still don’t get it?” She rolled her eyes but kept the smile on her face. “Are you sure you’re as smart as you are, oppa?”

“Everyone was in on it, Changmin—except you and Yoona, of course.” She motioned to everyone inside the hall. My eyes scanned the room, to all the smiling faces left surrounding us—from my parents, hers and our friends. I looked back to Yuri, my brow wrinkling with confusion.

“I would have married you if you stayed mute of your feelings for Yoona, you know.” ( _“I’m a coward, I know. I’m sorry. I love you.”_ ) She continued, her voice a softer tone now. Yuri patted my arm, sighing. “I would have married you if you didn’t reject me when I asked you to elope with me.”  ( _“My heart is hers. You know that more than anyone.”_ )

She stepped back, pulling her hands to her the small of her back and grinned again. “I would have married you if Yoona didn’t finally stand up for herself and told your father she loved you.”

 _Told your father she loved you_ —I turned my head to where my parents sat and saw them holding hands and smiling. “She told you she loved me?” I whispered, not really asking my father to answer and looked back at Yuri’s smiling face.

  
_“I’ll help you, oppa.”_

_“What?”_

_“I’ll help you get Yoona back!”_   
  


Finally, I understood. A smile crept to my lips as I reached over to pat her head. “Yuri… You kept your promise.”  _You’ll meet someone so much better for you, Yuri. I just know it._

“I did.” She nodded, patting my hand away and sticking her tongue out at me. “You’re my best friend, Changmin-oppa. It’s the least I can do.”

“Aww! Group hug!” Sooyoung exclaimed, running towards us to wrap her arms around Yuri and me. We laughed as Donghae and Kibum came towards us as well to join. “Thank you.” I said, the moment we all pulled away from each other.  I ruffled her hair playfully. “Thank you.”

Yuri grinned, wrinkling her nose as she fixed her hair. “Don’t just thank me. Thank your father.” She pointed at him, standing with his eyes everywhere else but on me. “He was the one who told me to not marry you because you deserve to be happy with the woman you love and who loves you back.”

I laughed, running over to my parents and enveloped him into a hug. My father tensed for a moment, but relaxed eventually—letting out a laugh that I’ve not heard since I was a child. I reached out for my mother to join us, and when she did I whispered: “Thank you both. You don’t know how much this means to me.”

My father laughed again, “We already do. Now what are you waiting for? I didn’t raise you to be man who runs late to meet his future wife! She’ll be right where you left her.” With a hand, he pushed towards the exit— to the setting sun.

 

* * *

 

**6:20PM;** Han River Park.  **YOONA.**

“It said to wait,” I murmured, holding a hand up to the sky. Orange, red and pink swirling on the river’s surface while the sun slowly started to disappear. I breathed in deeply, looking at the ring in between my fingers.

 _It said to wait…_ I closed my eyes, letting the silence of my surroundings envelope me for a moment until—“Yoona!”

I opened my eyes and turned to the voice who called my name. I choked back a happy sob in my throat as I took in the image of Changmin standing a foot or two from me. He smiled that uneven smile I love so much and stepped towards me—his hair disheveled and his tie loose and in disarray.

“You came—”

“You love me.” He cut me off, standing so close to me I could feel his warm breath on my cheek.

I reach up to run a hand through his hair, fixing it for him. “I do.”

“Marry me.” Changmin brushed a hand on my cheek, “I don’t have the ring right now but I promise you’ll get it.”

I smiled, pressing my cheek onto his hand. “I have it here,” I said, showing him the ring I held between my fingers. I watched him look at it in wonder and smile wider. “Yuri kept her promise.”

He nodded, wrapping his hand on my wrist. “Yes, she kept her promise.”

“Did you meet the right person yet?” I whispered, twirling the ring around between my fingers. Changmin watched the ring curl between my fingers and made no move.

“She’s right in front of me.” He replied, pressing his forehead against mine.

“Yes.”

“What?”

I slipped the diamond onto my ring finger and then slowly brought my hands behind his nape. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

He laughed, wrapping his hands around my waist as he pulled me closer. And then his lips were against mine and— “I love you.”

 

* * *

  
(“Our work here is done.” Donghae announced, smiling at them from across the way. Kibum and Yuri clapped and whistled enthusiastically. Sooyoung laughed and pulled them away just as Yeonhee took a quick picture of the happy couple with her camera.

Yuri skipped ahead, grinning from ear to ear.

“What did I tell you guys, eh? It’s a perfect day for a love like theirs.”)

 

**[END OF PART TWO]**


	28. All is Well [End]

**YOONA - - -**

“He’s infuriating! He talks to me like I’m not older than him! Ugh, the nerve of that little creep.”

I knew the moment I woke up this morning, that it would be a beautiful day. I loved my husband and our friends were gathered with us on a sunny day. I laughed, shaking my head as I patted Yuri’s arm. “Minho doesn’t seem so little to me, Yul. He’s actually almost Changmin’s height.”

Yuri was given Changmin’s position in MacShim after their non-wedding day. I’ve heard from my sources (Changmin’s dad) that her work was impeccable and spot on. She was strict and strong in her opinions – it was so unlike the cute and cheerful Yuri I have coffee with every weekend. Six months ago she needed a partner for a project and Changmin had recommended a young associate named Lee Minho.  They don’t get along very well and butt heads every time we invited them for dinner.

“Oh you know what I mean! I’m going to be alone forever. Sooyoung has Donghae, Yeonhee has Kibum and you have Changmin-oppa. It’s not fair!” Yuri complained, flinging her arms on my lap and faked sobbing.

Sooyoung laughed from her seat. “Don’t worry, Yul. It’ll be okay. I mean look at Yoong, she waited it out and it turned all right for her.” Donghae nodded, patting her head comfortingly while his girlfriend leaned back against him. The two had gotten together just two months ago, after I got them to take each other as dates for one of MacShim’s parties. They’ve been inseparable since!

Yuri pouted at their display of affection.

“Why did I have to end up with a child? I’m the noona here. He shouldn’t be so annoying.”

“So he’s kinda like you used to be, huh?” Changmin remarked, earning a slap on his arm from Yuri and from me. “Ow! I was kidding!”

“But you love him, don’t you?” I reasoned, raising an eyebrow. Changmin and I burst out laughing when we heard her murmur an incoherent ‘Yes’ as she buried her face into her hands. “Aww, that’s so sweet Yul!” we teased, chuckling at her red face and half frown/slight smile.

“Kibum and Yeonhee are taking a long time out there. Do you think Kibum chickened out?” Sooyoung said, peeking out the window to the pair standing outside. She squinted to read their lips and then sighed. Without a moment’s hesitation, she opened the door and shouted, “Gosh, spit it out already Kim Kibum!”

“Okay, okay!” Kibum panicked, taking a deep breath, “Yeonhee, I love you. Will you…”

“Marry you?” she finished for him, before laughing at his speechless expression and kissed him on the cheek. “Of course!”

He jumped, pumping his fist in victory into the air, and the rest of us applauded. Sooyoung pulled Yeonhee inside the room and the four of us shared a hug to congratulate her. The boys both gave Kibum a congratulatory handshake.

“Took you guys long enough.” I heard Changmin say. From the tone of his voice, I could tell he was smirking.

I pulled away from Yeonhee for a moment and rolled my eyes at my husband. “Look who’s talking. You took even longer to propose! Four years, in fact!”

He laughed, pressing a kiss onto my lips. “Let’s not bring the past back into the present, wife. Plus you shouldn’t be exerting too much effort on yourself right now.”

“We shouldn’t be making too much noise either. It’s a hospital after all.” Donghae added, glancing around the room. I threw her a grateful smile and sighed, relaxing into Changmin as he settled on the bed.

“Excuse me, Mr. Shim and Ms. Im? She’s awake.”

Silence enveloped the room as the nursed carried her inside the room. There was a collective ‘aww’ in the room as I reached up and held my child for the first time. She was so small, so fragile – I smiled with tears I hadn’t noticed forming on my eyes and kissed her head softly.

“She’s beautiful, Yoona.” Yeonhee said, staring. “What’s her name?”

“Shim MinAh.” I whispered, holding my daughter to Changmin so he can take her into his arms.

When his face broke into the smile I loved so much with our little girl in his arms reaching up to him and our friends’ watching over us with love and understanding – I grinned knowing my prediction was true.

Today  _is_  a perfect day.

 

 

**FIN**

_2011.01.07_


End file.
